February 2014 - is there an octopus in there?

[LittlePandaBear]

Okay I don't like to run out of things, even threads, so here's the new one.

Can't remember who described their baby kicking like an octopus but it's very true :)

sorry so many people have had crap days.

choco this is really crap of your payroll dept not to notice until now. sadly I believe that they are entitled to take the money back and in theory in your next paycheck. however I would talk to payroll and see if it can be done in installments. make sure you get an accurate detailed amount from them though as you have paid tax and ni on this extra payment, so you don't want to be out of pocket. this is only based on my experience in companies there is no telling an 18 year old not to spend that extra money it's an error sorry not to be bearer of good tidings.

I was shocked when the midwife today said, I'll see you in 6 weeks, what? when did this all change, last time from now I was more or less fortnightly appointments. work loved it thats Christmas eve too, where's time gone?!

laura was it the same mw both t

..times?

No different midwife

Sorry to hear tales of housing and work woe! Hope it (they) get worked out properly.

Just chipping into the bf debate: have you seen this amazing spoken-word poem from Holly McNish about being made to feel embarrassed by breastfeeding? I can't see cash in hand working this particular social issue out in a generation, and agree with everyone above that women need well-informed help and resources to support bf, if they want to do it, not shopping vouchers ffs.

Anyway, here's the link to the poem, it's really good (I think!)

Well that could easily explain it. With my second oak way measured bigger when it wasn't my usual mw.

Gnitting yes I've seen that poem, it's amazing isn't it. Powerful stuff.

Choco - what a massive pain about working overpaying you, rubbish timing just before Christmas and mat leave. Hope they'll at least let you pay it back spread out in small instalments.

MissKat that does sound like a truly rubbish day. Reminds me of when we had a frozen pipe burst in the loft about a week before DS was born. We had water streaming through our spare room ceiling, right onto my beautifully packed hospital bag. I guess it could have been a lot worse, it could have come down into the nursery but still, we could have done without all the hassle of plumbers and trying to dry everything out just before DS arrived. Maybe it's good luck or something - and definitely good to get these things out of the way now and now in Feb!

Thanks ladies - and sorry for everyone else having crappy days!

DH is trying to phone insurance people now as we're not even sure how to get this fixed - owning a home is so annoying some times.

Atleast it's happened now and not in feb though as many have said. School wise I'm just not going to stress myself out - baby and my health are more important so they can see what they see - I'm not spending two weeks working all hours planning every lesson to crazy ofsted level for one random observation.

Off to my next door neighbours for a shower now! Thank god were good friends or DH would be hosing me down in the garden! Brrrrr.

Thanks for all the support guys. Makes me feel much better

Work are generally pretty good about these things and very flexible so I'm not worried about it being a problem but just a shock I could do without. I realise I'm as much to blame and should have checked my payroll but I'm really rubbish at such things. Especially as ours are now electronic, not a nice paper copy. I'm such a Luddite technologically it's a miracle I ever manage to get on MN!

missk - hope your house issues are resolved soon. Not great to have to deal with that and changes at work. I'm sending you as that helped me.

laura - don't worry about measurements being a bit off. If they're worried next time they'll send you for a scan which is much more acurate and will probably be fine. My DS had small measurements but they weren't picked up till 39 weeks due to different midwives. He was small when born but is now a strapping 4 year old and nobody believes me when I say he was 6 and 1/2 lbs at birth! Easy to say but try not to worry for now. for you too.

That previous message made no sense.

With my second I always measured bigger if I saw a midwife other than my usual midwife.

Forgot to say lovesto no need to be embarrassed!

missk
what a crap day

im really lucky... think ill get through this whole term without a lesson obs... think thats a first!!! (although ive had to watch everyone else which was hell)

Bumps getting really heavy to lug about now... cant believe she'll only get bigger and heavier.

Well I am in 2 minds about the bf incentive trial - and it is just a trial to see if it makes any difference. The vouchers will have been donated so is not costing the nhs anything, its targeted at women who would not normally consider bf-ing (not the ones who want to but lack support) and bf rates in some areas are quite frankly piss poor (eg only 11% of women in Merthyr Tydfil even try to bf, let alone reach their bf goals). It would actually be easy to monitor as presumably feedback sessions will be part of the trial participation (which is voluntary). I don't think there is anything to lose here for anyone?

There are 2 strands here - encouraging women to bf in the first place and then helping them keep going once they have started. I think as a trial its worth a shot - the women they are targeting don't care about "breast is best" (which is not an nhs message) - they are adhering to their own social norms and the aim of the trial is to give them some financial incentive to step out of their norm.

Rant over :)

I am dreading my Anti-D injection - it fecking hurt last pg!

Also, I almost always had a trace of protein in my urine last pg and around the 3rd trimester my bp shot up but then stayed consistently high (compared to my norm) but my mw was never concerned and that combined with my high bmi, I was still a suitable candidate for homebirth. Even during labour when my bp went even higher, if g&a hadn't worked to bring it down they would have advised hospital transfer but not as an emergency case (would just have to wait until there was an ambulance free and no blue lights!)

This time I have had "unidentified growths" in my urine and the lab messed up my second sample I didn't bother to produce a third sample as I am sure its nowt and quite frankly between all the jabs and scans I am sick of nhs waiting rooms!

Good point petty. I used to work in healthcare in an area which I think had similar stats and I guess if you haven't got past the 'there are benefits for your baby maybe give this a try' hurdle then you never get people to the stage where they need support when it gets hard.

petty I didn't realise the vouchers were being donated, that changes my view slightly. I still think people could fake it though - if they really wanted - and of course the vouchers can be spent on anything, it might be better having something like the WIC program in the US which lets you buy things like milk, eggs, nappies, etc.
I still feel as if the financial incentive to try bf should be that you don't have to buy formula...but people do place a higher value on cash that's given to them than on cash that they've saved.

Still - as a trial it will be interesting to see what impact it has. I'm not sure what the numbers are on cost of bf babies to NHS v cost of ff babies to NHS but presumably some good savings could be made. But the support for bf, both for women that want to try it and women for whom it's not part of the culture, needs to be made available.

Actually, I asked my mw today about bf support at the hospital and she said "well it's there but you'll have to ask for it." Which shocked me a bit - that it's not even standard.

Anyway. Let's hope we all manage to feed our babies the way we want without too many bleeding nipples please

I thought champs might have the correct knowledge on choco's problem - sorry it wasn't an easy fix like I hoped :(

Holly McNish poem is brill.

So my cat has been chewing on my nail file (again) and left lots of bitemarks on it! She's so weird. I've given up having a message board as she just picks out the pins and tries to eat them.

About the bf incentive - Thing is that these are aimed at women ("chavs" potentially) who really don't care too much about it being the best for their baby, or who lacks any sort of motivation at all. It's not aimed at those who wants to but for various reasons cannot. I believe these people in fact would be motivated by money, cynical as it is. It could potentially make it more the norm for these women to bf, which could lead to success. I'm sure there is ways in which gps could find out whether the babies are actually bf or not, as it can be seen in babies nappies! If it proves unsuccesful after a while, they'll just have to stop :)

Littleen that has to be the worst research job ever - daily audit of 200 babies' nappies...

Does anyone have any useful advice for first timers on the challenges of bf and what you found helpful? I have a mental image of myself sitting on the sofa feeling like I'm being ripped apart by my adorable newborn, so if there's any pre-emptive real life advice (or even just emergency measures) they'd be really helpful to know about

Late to work today because it took so long to get the ice off the car. Going to invest in a spray to be kept locked away for icy day waters breaking emergencies I think!!

Thanks for the poem link! I never realised the extent to which public shaming for BF can keep women homebound. I hope it doesn't happen to us.

Littleen Yep, I think it's aimed at less educated women/ areas where that's the demographic. Apparently the midwife signs something to say you've been breast feeding.
I imagine the fact we're here in the first place would automatically place us outside of that group. I doubt there's much overlap of mums targeted by the scheme and mumsnet users, tbh.

Petty and Littleen you make very good points about he bf incentive. I guess a trial can't hurt and the intentions are good of course.

Sunflowered - on the bf front, my biggest recommendation to anyone is to ensure the midwife checks your baby at birth for tongue tie. This seems to be hit and miss depending on which hospital etc but in my experience it can be the biggest cause of the main breastfeeding issues - baby not putting on enough weight, mastitis, split nipples, mother finding feeding stressful, feeds going on for hours, engorgement and oversupply. My other recommendation would be a breastfeeding cushion. I didn't see the point and thought they seemed a ridiculous con and only caved in and bought one after about 4 weeks of agonising breastfeeding - it was the best £30/£40 I spent at the time. My one is called My Brest Friend (!) and basically creates a really secure platform to bring the baby up to boob level (probably extra good for me as I have small boobs so would have needed a whole stack of normal cushions to get the right height!), leaving you hands-free which is a huge help if you're having issues getting the latch right. Plus means you can play on MN on your phone once you get the hang of it! I would probably recommend getting some nipple shields as well. That way if you do suffer from sore/split nipples, you have help at hand immediately, they really helped me. Also look out for the signs of mastitis (agonising sore boob, fever, sweats etc.) and get yourself to a doctor for antibiotics ASAP if you think you've got it. I left mine too late and as a result of having a hot bath (DS was 2.5 weeks old) to try and hand-express and clear the infection myself, I got out of the bath, passed out and woke up face down on our landing in a pool of blood having broken my nose. Thankfully DS was sleeping in his Moses basket as DH was out!

Oh and get the midwives to show you how to feed lying down. Once you get the hang of it there's nothing lovelier than bringing the baby into your bed for the first feed of the morning lying down snuggling under the duvet!

Littleen things I found useful:
Lansinoh nipple cream used preemptively and have several tubes. Its one of the few creams you don't have to wipe off before feeding. I also used their breast pads.
Invest in a big scarf or cover for bf when out, it gives you some privacy. I also used it at home so I could still talk to visitors and feed, not everyone is comfortable seeing you feed (esp blokes).
Make sure you are comfortable, put your feet up on a cushion (it helps get you in right position), have baby on cushion, and ensure you have drink/food/book/iPad. It is really important that you stay hydrated.
Ensure that if you are having problems that you talk to HV, attend a feeding clinic, or call a midwife, it's never too early and no question is stupid.
Most of all, if you want to feed in private at home (skin to skin contact/you just want some peace from guests) tell busy body relatives that are quite happy to sit and talk to you to f'off, it may be perfectly natural but its your body and your baby.
Theres probably more and I will add to it later I'm sure, or someone else will also be helpful!

apologies for lack of paragraphs and also I meant sunflowered not littleen, best go get that caffeine I think...

I'm with Camwombat on the Lansinoh cream for nipples and also found their breast pads the best for actually wicking away the leakage properly (you can get them online or in Boots/Mothercare). Also find out from your midwife in advance what days/locations the breastfeeding clinics are in your area - always a really friendly bunch of new mums and no question is too small. The staff are trained to give you practical advice and support and I found them invaluable.

Another vote for lansinoh cream. I would recommend muslin cloths for covering up when bf in public. In fact muslin cloths will become your new friend as they're so useful for all sorts - wiping up, entertainment for baby, comforter, bf cover, impromptu baby sun hat!!!

Grrrr. The whole point of schlepping around to diabetes clinics miles away (no car) was to get good advice, part of which was to avoid my normal ReadyBrek and prunes breakfast and go for seeded toast with nut butter. Which I duly did, and have been manically doing the housework to try and burn it off, as I can feel the sugars zinging around my system. Just done my finger-prick test and whoosh, straight up above the upper limit. Am going to stick to foods that I know work for me. And DH is taking me out for a posh tasting menu dinner tonight, and I'm going to have to bypass at least 1/3 of it. And not have the wine pairings.

(yes, this is all totally superficial, so best get out the tiniest violins for the accompanying dirge please...)