February 2014 - is there an octopus in there?

[LittlePandaBear]

Okay I don't like to run out of things, even threads, so here's the new one.

Can't remember who described their baby kicking like an octopus but it's very true :)

Tea - I had FOUR gin and tonics on holiday last week- I don't usually drink that much in a normal month of being unpregnant, tell him to shove it.

Harlem you go girlfriend! Woop! respeck. Etc etc.

I hate the tesco advert. I'm JL all the way.

Went to SIL's today to get "everything" we need for the baby. Was under the impression that seeing as her children are soooo spoilt and they are filthy rich that there would be some gooooood shit. I know I'm a mahhooooosive ungrateful snob, but I've never seen so much tat in my life. I was told I'd be given an Icandy apple, which I did, shame it looked like an apple that had been kicked round the frikkin pantry floor for several months. Was soooooo excited and am now feeling a bit deflated but not quite rude enough to ask her if I can leave it all after all.

Also all this job talk is depressing me. I get an ok wage and can earn commission on every painting I sell. But since I got ooop la doooof I have no drive to sell so therefore no extra spending money. Sad face. I want a bugaboo buffalo more than ever now AND a new car. Sob. Plus when I finish work, and they're not taking on anyone new, they'll quickly learn how little I do!

Sorry for the grump. Il take my little grey rain cloud with me to snoozeville.

Peace out preggos x

Monday morning blues today, so I keep reminding myself I only have 6 weeks left. I'm at a lovely mid point, 6 weeks of work followed by 6 weeks of maternity leave.

I think I offended my mum last night by saying that I'd rather she stayed with in laws after I've given birth, than at ours. It's just I know I won't be able to relax fully (not cook etc) if my parents are here. And they have a lovely but crazy dog which sheds hair, that I really don't want around immediately after birth. The in laws only live 10 minutes away, so she can still spend lots of time with me and baby.

Am I being a bit precious?

Ah thanks for the congrats ladies.

eeyore glad you managed to get everything sort re mat leave/annual leave. Can't believe you only have 6 weeks left! That will fly by I bet! Re your parents staying, I don't think you're being precious at all. DH and I were saying the other day that we'd really like it just to be the three of us when we come home. Visitors bearing gifts are welcome as long as they don't hang around all day! [Grin]

Tea I wouldn't worry about the alcohol. My DH sounds similar to yours though, he gives me disapproving looks when I even mention that I'm missing alcohol, let alone having any.

Notone sorry about the carpel tunnel. I'm pretty clueless about it but I hope it passes soon.

Happy Monday all!

Congrats from me too harlem

eeyore I don't think you're being precious at all - we're planning on something similar if pil come to visit when the baby's.very small.

Have come to.work without any gaviscon and no.chance to pop out for more. Today is going to be a bad day.

Eeyore it's not precious at all. We had literally been home five minutes last time before invasion to " meet the baby". This time I have a different nightmare think ww3 & disownment to have to deal with now but thats a whole other thread needing a nc.

Shrops how rubbish about the sil, and especially about the icandy, we had very few "top brands" when DS was little and even now they are limited and unless the GPs bought them are good quality second hand I'm tight and he will trash them/grow out of them quickly

We have had an awful night here, ds is poorly and been up crying most of the night. So it's off to doctors we go today and when he naps, back to bed.

Congrats harlem!

Eeyore I have a similar challenge with both our sets of parents. Mine live 3hrs away and DH's live 2hrs away. Both will no doubt come to visit as soon as the baby is born but I have told them both not to expect to stay. Then (assuming baby is on time!) DH and I have 2 weeks paternity together alone before the visiting commences in earnest. MIL wants to stay with me for 2 weeks TWO WEEEEEKS at the start of March when baby will be 2 weeks old (again if on time). My DM has decided to book off the last week in March.

It's so tricky when they live so far away but as they usually stay in our 2nd bedroom when they visit and I basically host them in terms of food, cups of tea, runs to the shop for milk etc, I can't even begin to think about doing all that with a newborn. I'm not quite sure how to ask them to a) either stay in a travelodge or b) stay with us but to basically feed and look after themselves whilst they are here.

tea I'm sure that amount of alcohol will be fine - I'm looking forward to making a glass of champers last as long as possible on Christmas Day!

Pil are 1.5 hours away so they can drive up and back in a day for visits and won't be expecting to stay. My dad is 2.5 hours away but will likely do the same. My mother is abroad so will come for about 3 days, but I've asked not for the first few weeks (she wouldn't book a ticket until I'd given birth anyway and will need a few weeks notice before she can up and leave) and it needs to be a b&b! The spare room is now the nursery and I'll be wanting to use it through the night/don't want to tiptoe about trying to be quiet etc. I just don't like people/visitors being around for more than a few hours at the best of times, no matter how close they are, let alone when I'm knackered and bleeding, trying to figure out how to bf/what to do with a baby etc.

shropshiremum, 4 gin and tonics! you make me laugh!!!!

No Eeyore, you are being very brave telling them in advance where the boundaries are. I salute you. It won't be easy in the first couple of days with a newborn and all of the aches and pains that we'll experience, so I think that you've done the right thing.

Yes Champagne, please let us know if that alcohol free m&s stuff is good. My tongue is dry .

Eeyore definitely the right thing to do to tell them now. As Tea says it will be much harder when the baby's actually with you!

I don't know what my ILs are planning, they are coming to stay for the month of Feb but not actually at ours, I think at a serviced apartment. At least I hope so! MIL is very respectful of boundaries and also massively helpful, I know I'll appreciate her being there on the cooking/laundry/cleaning front, but part of me just wants it to be the three of us for the first couple of weeks, is that crazy?

I'm worried about post baby blues and trying to make bf work and all those things while also feeling like I'm hosting a little bit (even if guests are amazing, I always feel like I'm hosting!) Love the idea of just curling up with my new little family but maybe that's reeeeaally idealistic...

Hello everyone:) just marking my place in the new, very aptly named thread:) octopus in here too:) i swear this little baby never stops!!
Got my first physio appointment today for my back. Heard of a few people going and it not really being of much help so we'll see how i get on. Keeping everything crossed they can help in some way as I really don't see me holding out another 7 weeks at work how things are going:/

lyndsey I had that tingling sensation with my first. Feels like pins and needles? The midwife said to me it was to do with the nerves tearing as your bump grows. It only gets worse towards the end I'm afraid but after the lo is here it does heal.

Ooh I really feel for all of you having parent issues. I don't know If I could have either my mum or mil staying. Although as it stand my OH May not be here when this one arrives so might have to give in and allow one of them to help:/

Making a start to the nursery today Hopefuly:) wish me luck because Iv no idea where to even start!!

Happy Monday everyone:)

I’m completely with the rest of you on visitors. My mum lives 3 hours away and will be coming to stay for a few days once the baby is born, I’m dreading it. Dh is going to ring her once I’m in labour and then she’s going to make her way down on the train. My brother lives with her, and so he’s planning on coming down a couple of days later and then take her home. He’s going to have to sleep on the living room floor. It’s going to be awful! Mum thinks we’re going to be shopping for baby clothes once he’s born, erm no, I don’t think so

At least we’ve got our nice top floor bedroom with ensuite now so we can hide up there when we need some privacy and time out.

Then on the flip side, Dh’s parents are on holiday for a month and I’m due right in the middle, so I’m fairly certain they will miss the birth which we’re a bit disappointed about. Although eeyore you gave me a great idea – maybe my mum (or just brother) could stay at the inlaw’s house while they are away! It’s about 20 mins away. I know my mum would get offended if we asked her to stay there, but it’s something we could mention for my brother....

Many congrats on the promotion Harlem! Amazing news. I think your uppababy purchase was also a bargain with the car seat and base thrown in, we didn’t see any offers like that when we were looking.

Shrops we got all SIL’s cast off’s yesterday, there are at least 10 bin bags full! I’m dreading looking inside (I know they will have been worn by both my nephews) and go up to the age of 3!! This is what we’ve got to come for the rest of the baby’s life I reckon. Me and Dh having so sort through SIL’s old stuff. She said she’s going to do the toys next, I was crying inside. IMO our nephews have too many toys and rubbish attention spans, I don’t want to be a mean mummy but I really want to nurture my child’s creativity and imagination.

AND I’m still in two minds about the whooping cough jab, I’m going crazy thinking about it. I was going to have it tomorrow, but I think I might quiz the midwife about it at my appointment and put it off for a couple more weeks at least.

Hello Artisticme, welcome. Decorating your nursery? I keep putting it off. Maybe a good radio station like Heart or magic and some water to sip might help. Our planned room is bright pink at the mo, and DH keeps saying that the LO is a girl, so there is no need to paint it , I have reminded him that we don't know the gender, so we had better paint it.

tinypolka, I love old cast offs. especially clothes. there must be something wrong with me. My SIL is the total opposite, and the minute her LOs grew out of something, she sold it on EBay! The capitalist.

Tea I am very grateful for the cast offs, it’s just the lack of quality control before hand - she gave us a fabric book which still has 2 year old puke on it could have washed it first! But then my other SIL is like yours, she just wanted to sell us stuff, so we had to turn her down for a lot of things.

Haha teaaddict that's wishful thinking not having to decorate!! Although pink is always a good choice:) we know we're having a girl so think we are opting for mainly cream with a baby pink wall aswell. I already have wall decorations and accessories from our first so shouldn't be too much of a job in that respect but it's just the initial clear out that I'm dreading!! Oh well once it's done it's done. Another box to tick off the list:)

Might be a stupid questions but what do you wear to physio? Supposed to be going out for lunch before hand so wasn't really wanting to wear gym attire but thinking I may have to nip home and get changed after:/

It’s so confusing isn’t it champagne? Everyone I know who has known someone with a child who had wc says without a doubt they would have it as the experience is so horrendous. The majority of comments/experiences on different websites about the jab are positive, and people I know who’ve had it have gone on to have perfectly healthy babies. It’s just those few with bad experiences which leave me with a niggling doubt.

I think I’m leaning towards leaving the jab as late as possible.

I think if you have worries about allergies champagne, then you should try and discuss it with your doctor if you can. They might also be able to advise about wc in your area (going to quiz the mw about that tomorrow)

I had wc as a child and my parents say it was terrifying for them to deal with. I was pretty ill with it too. As a result, it was then recommended that I didnt have any of the childhood immunisations (this was early 80s), so I didnt. Great.

From my perspective I will be having the vaccine, the UK has such strict licencing rules for drugs that it wouldnt have been licensed if it was inherently dangerous. Also, with DS I need to be able to go out, his life cant stop because of the new baby. I'm already anticipating issues there.

DS also currently has hand, foot and mouth, so I now need to keep an eye out for that too, although doctor said this is best point in pregnancy to get it if I do. Yay.

Have started my discussion over post birth with my family, it's a difficult one thats going to go down very badly....

champagne I don't know if this helps at all, but aluminium is in a lot of things that we use in our modern environment (see ingredients in your deoderant for example). This is not to say that it's the same aluminium salts, or that it's 100% harmless, just that aluminium per se is already in your system and unless you live totally off-grid it will get into your LO's system. Allergies sounds like a much bigger issue to me - I hope Allergy UK will be able to help you with some solid information on that.

We've declared our mini-family a no-go area for at least two days after birth, and asked people coming to stay to wait until DH goes back after paternity leave, which will be 3 weeks as he's tacking a week's holiday on after his statutory leave. I'm happy to see his immediate family in short bursts (can't stand his dad, at all, but diluted by the rest of his family and in short bursts it's bearable) and hopefully my little sister and mum will be able to come and stay for a few days when DH goes back to work. What with a potential house move, a higher risk of cesarean due to GD, and no freezer/microwave to pre-emptively batch cook (!) I think I'm going to want some moral support!

Sorry about the lack of gaviscon Sunflowered. I hope you aren't suffering too much and the day passes quickly for you!

Cam hope your DS feels better soon and you get a well deserved nap this afternoon.

Re the WC jab, I think I'm going to have it but still want to read more about it and the possible side effects. Champs I've been meaning to say thanks for collating all that reading info on the subject on FB. I've got a bit of time left to make up my mind, I think the Dr wanted to book me in to have it at my 31 week appointment which is still 5 weeks away.

Interviews are underway for old job - no joy yet though. I'm hoping this afternoon's sessions are a bit better!

I'm in the "all the help I can get" camp WRT parents post birth. I really would not have managed to feed myself or DH after DS was born, without my DM's help. We would have survived but it would not have been the same without her. I guess it all comes down to how well you get on and your relationship anyway. We are very close and my DH doesn't mind (mainly cos he is fed better if she is there). The frustrating thing for me was more the outdated advice my DM gave me about baby safety - sleeping on tummies and stuff like that - I ended up pouring pints of Guiness down the sink so as not to offend her on nutritional grounds!

And congrats Harlem!

I'm very likely to end up getting the jab, but it worries me that it's a combined jab (why necessary? Why no choice?) and that's it new and different from the one used in the US.
Did you guys read about the resurgence of rickets amongst infants? And even scurvy in some areas? How very eighteenth century! (Not that those are contagious, obviously, being vitamin deficiencies)

My MiL apparently will want to visit shortly after the birth. This is worrying me because our house is very small and there's nowhere to put her except the couch, and only one bathroom to share. Plus I will really not be up for extended company that isn't my mum while sleep deprived and recovering. I don't want to have to put on a social, chatty face for her.
The problem is she is not well off and therefore probably can't afford a B and B. And I want DHs focus to be on me and the baby rather than his mum, entertaining her.
I don't dislike her, I just don't know her particularly well and we have little in common besides her son! And I don't want to have a precious week of DHs holiday-taking spent on his mother. That feels selfish, but I think we can be selfish post birth.