Martians 2014, thread 11. KEGELS!

[LyraSilvertongue]

Shiny new thread, ladies :)

Just managed to accidentally post this on the old thread so reposting...

I can't believe we're six pages into a new thread since yesterday!

grey I just had the hypnobirthing book/CD and I also downloaded a random hypnobirthing MP3 onto my ipod which I listened to (or mainly fell asleep to) quite a bit. The CD and the MP3 I had did both sound pretty silly (I used headphones because otherwise DH wouldn't have been able to resist making silly remarks and making me laugh at it) but if you just go with it/ignore any bits you don't want to try then it's great.

I want to know what Pram said.

gawjus there are loads of constipation meds that are safe to take in pregnancy - if you ask your Dr or pharmacist they should be able to give you something. I'm on lactulose and eating dried apricots and drinking prune juice because constipation is a side effect of the medication I am on for sickness aside from the fact that it is more likely in pregnancy anyway. DO make sure you are drinking plenty as dehydration can make it worse.

Cass, hope your trip to Paris wasn't too tiring.

At my hospital you stay in the room you gave birth in unless it's busy in which case you're transferred to the post natal ward but visiting hours are still the same. I think it's something like 10am-8pm although DH stayed later than that when DD1 was born because we were supposed to be being discharged and then weren't. (DD hadn't fed and the MW went on about how we wouldn't have any help with feeding problems if we went home although in actual fact we didn't have problems until after we were home anyway.) Being able to all stay together is another factor in my choice of a homebirth. It's also much nicer using your own bathroon than the hosptial one.

Pram I am cross on your behalf at the rude people at Equifax!

"I think I have become upset because it has hit me that this information - this history of my life - will become known to my child as s/he is growing up. What will they think of their mum having been a homeless alcoholic? A stripper? A prostitute? Never having achieved anything whatsoever with her life? It's hit me like a ton of bricks how shocking this stuff is to those who do not know me or love me. To an outsider I appear to be nothing but a complete loser. I don't want my daughter or son to see me in that way"
Pram, I've known you online for about two weeks and I do not think you are a complete loser. Everyone has things in their past they are not proud of (and anyone who says they haven't is probably lying) and you have managed to turn your life around which in my opinion is a huge acheivement. You will be your child's mum and he or she will love you and will not see you as a complete loser.

apprentice, antenatal depression is common in hyperemesis sufferers so I've come across quite a few people who have been put on amitryptilene - I'm guessing it must be the anti-depressant of choice for pregnancy as it's the one I've always hear mentioned.

I've spent most of today in bed after having gone to out of hours GP last night about a very painful boil which makes sitting rather difficult. blush I'm now on antibiotics (which have made me feel really sick just when I was almost feeling normal) and paracetamol and codeine. I was told that if it's not improving by tomorrow morning I have to go see my GP as it may need to be removed so have had a hot water bottle on it half the day in the hopes that that will help speed up the healing process.

But on the plus side, since DH was home due to me being ill he went and picked up a copy of my slapped cheek results and I was definitely already immune. smile

pram it was however, with the amount I've eaten in the last week I think I'm going to give birth to a food baby!

Never commented earlier, but f*^k equifax! Everyone else is right, we all have pasts etc, makes you who you are today.

Not read about hyponobirthing, but have started reading about epidurals, diamorphine and general anesthetic......

pram ditto on bwp said, you is brilliant and your experiences (good or bad) have made you who you are today. One way to look at it is, who is going to have the best advice in to the world to give to little Prambino?

On phone so forgive lack of names - to those with boils abscesses, and pains and going through depression . Lots of rest, keep hydrated, take appropriate drugs and of course keep talking to the rest of us.

Exes - yuk I hate them all. i have same probs with OH ex keeps calling about random crap. OH trying to be nice, would meet up for 'catch-up' drinks but plan them for when I was busy with work or other friends. I told him that it felt like sneaking behind my back and that if he wanted to see her (not that often) he should do it whenever.
Bad news is that they are still friends because they only broke up because she didn't want kids. Good news is that because we are now on baby front we are hearing less and less from her. (small victories)

I think it was kara Big Round of Applause for the baking feast wow!
All your food talk had me starving so made cod and a cheese sauce served with pasta and peas yum yum yum

BWP, you almost made me cry and I'm rock-hard, me, not Thank you for your words. When I say I feel like a loser it is largely in financial and career terms. I had to abort my degree only months before graduation as I had become too ill with my addiction to continue. Tutors and students alike were very concerned at my state and knew I was very ill and in-and-out of hospital from Christmas onwards. After three years of hard work, and being on the verge of a first class degree, I had to drop out. I know I make light of my unemployed status on this thread - and believe me when I say I made a conscious choice post-rehab to opt out of the rat race - but when I read of all your successes in career and education and family I often whimper at my own failures.

Don't get me wrong, it is what it is and I am grateful to have such a lack of stress or competitiveness in my life that careers so often bring. But I grieve the freedom and pleasure that money brings and I fear my child will think less of me for having not graduated and fulfilled my potential. Please don't all go nuts; I know that's absurd but that's how I feel. I will never return to education again. I never want to have to study again. There are too many horrendous memories of what happened in (and out of) lecture halls. I feel horribly thwarted academically but am not prepared to do anything about it. I fear I would end up back on the drink through sheer force of high expectations of myself. I don't want my lack of ambition to rub off on my child but I fear I will not have a leg to stand on if s/he were to drop out.

I am sorry this post is so long, these are things I bury on a daily basis; the fear of being unfulfilled and never having money or a mortgage again, never being intellectually challenged or proud of my work ethic. I joke a lot on threads about being on benefits but I pray this baby brings me the ultimate fulfilment, otherwise I'm fucked.

Please don't all feel the need to respond to my last post. It really was just a running dialogue that plays over-and-over in my head and needed to be put down on paper, so to speak. Please, no need for input. I know you all understand

By the way - for those not on facebook we are arranging a London Meet up

A Friday in November at Waterloo station - nothing's confirmed yet so if you would like to join and/or dates, location etc are not compatible please let me know

and for the grammar police is that apostrophe correct?

Your apostrophe is well placed liberuna

You have a good point though -

There is also a North West Meet Up for those of you not on Facebook...get in touch if you're interested. Details all yet undetermined but likely to be somewhere in Manchester City Centre

Well fuck me sideways, six pages into thread eleven already??

pram, although my circumstances are very different from yours, I understand about feeling you have not achieved what you 'should' have done. I can't add any more than others have already said, but I have massive admiration for you and what you have achieved.

lib, in my capacity as an unbearable grammar freak, I can confirm that your apostrophe was indeed correct, as "nothing's" is a contraction of "nothing is". I will now stop being unbearable at least for now

Recently got back from yoga. I feel ace, and thoroughly recommend it to anyone who is interested.

Lib yes to the apostrophe :)

pram that phone lady was a cow. Ignore her. Don't worry about what your child will think. You are his mum and he will love you for you. You have achieved a lot. Many people can't come back from addictions - you have.

Was it Lyra who said she was going to open a restaurant with her DH? I would love to do that with my DH , probably a cafe tho, as I don't want to work evenings.

pram you shouldn't feel like that, but I understand where you're coming from because we all feel these pressures to a greater or lesser extent. Looking at it another way, I've done well academically and have a job that frankly I feel like I don't deserve. But I'd sacrifice so, so much of that for just a scrap of social confidence, the ability to know what to say and to be able to remember that how I interact with people does actually have an effect on them. Believe me, this brings it's own parenting worries, lots and lots and lots of parenting worries.

Oh plus, for the first few months, baby will just think of you as "big milky orbs", after that we're all just winging it. All of us, all the time.

Oh pram - I can relate. I've always wondered what kind of job I'd be in if I hadn't screwed up my A-levels and before getting pregnant with DD1 I despaired at my routine office job. But now so glad I didn't have a high powered 'career' as I would have found it so hard to give up. When DD came along it put everything in perspective - to quote you, it really was the ultimate fulfilment (so much so I'm now onto baby 3!). I'm sure it will be the same for you. Put the past behind you where it belongs - you have a really exciting new chapter starting very soon and you're going to love it xxx

Crikey, my heart actually soared when I read your posts, Pain and Baking. Pain, I have always, always suspected that motherhood would be my panacea; the answer to all the shitty turmoil and pointlessness which has gone before. I know it's going to be hard and unwieldy, torturous and heartbreaking too, but who cares? I'm going to be a mum!

Baking, being a gregarious and effervescent sort of twat it always startles me to learn that not everyone is like me (and thank fuck for that small mercy). What I mean is, I look upon some of you as sort of demi-gods in that you clearly have ace careers and earn wads of dough and work really, really hard for it, which allows you to have big cars, french doors and fairy lights. It doesn't occur to me that you may feel thwarted or unfulfilled in all sorts of ways that I could never imagine. This sounds wrong but thank you for that, I mean it.

Pram, I won't go on and on but that baby of yours will more than make up for the lack of a career, I'm sure. And it's a hard-fought-for baby so a major achievement to boot. I do completely understand how conflicted you feel though. Just do your best with what you have. Nobody can ask more of you than that, not even yourself. Wish I could give you a rl hug.

Owl, yes it's me with the crazy restaurant plan. It's just that this is probably the only time in my life that I'll have an opportunity like this, with XP buying out my share of our house, so I could go the safe route and use the money to buy another house or take a big risk and give me and DP the chance to work for ourselves, which we've both always wanted. It could all go belly up and leave us broke but if I don't take the chance I'll never know.
We went to see one tonight, disguised as regular customers so we could see what the place was really like without the sales pitch. It's really tiny and on three floors of a little Georgian building and it's got wonky stairs and other quaint stuff. And it was really busy ion a Wednesday night which bodes well. And it's in a great position, just off the high street and moments away from the green. I waaaant iiiittt!!

Madwife, I know there's no medical reason to listen to the FH right now but it's nice to listen in every now and then. There's something magical about hearing your tiny baby's heart galloping away.

I'm so bloody knackered after a day of cooking, cleaning and dashing about sorting stuff out. And I only got three hours' sleep last night so I'm ready to drop but will probably read in bed for a while first.

I also am somewhat lacking in confidence most of the time so I'd also trade some of what I have materially for some of your gregariousness (is that a word?), Pram. It's something that can't be learned in a school or bought so it's a precious thing.

DP just woke me up to tell me to turn my alarm off (for 7:30) as he's going to take me to work and will wake me up (at 8). I'm obviously now wide awake. Think he was trying to be nice??

At 7am on days I have to work, I am a barely human zombie. Today is my day off, so why the frickin' smeg am I wide awake now???

Anyway, good morning all

Haha comms, cross- posted! Bless your DP, I think he was...

I've definitely got a cold. Would it be wrong to call in sick? I can't as I have stuff to do today, but a girl can dream...

Shreddies for breakfast although im half tempted to reheat some of last nights cottage pie lol!

I bought my first baby outfit today a pink thumper onesie its so cute im in love roll on the next 20 weeks...

Interview day

I woke up at 3am with a stitch like pain in my side and it's still there. Halfway up my tummy on the left hand side. Worse when sitting or lying and when breathing in. I haven't got time for this shit today!

Good luck Jolls :)