February 2014 - Part 5 - The one in which nobody has ANY vomiting, heartburn, or random leg injuries...

[marzipanned]

Well, here's hoping!

somany I just want my boyfriend and the midwife I think, can't think of anyone else I'd want in there to be honest!

I hope to breastfeed, it's the most common thing to do here, and I just cross my fingers I'll be able to. My mother had issues with it, but I know of friends who breastfeed like champions with no problems whatsoever. I think it has a huge deal to do with being shown properly how to do it, and also I've read from a very skilled midwife's books that it's not adviced to give bottle at all for the first 6 weeks, as it can make baby confused on how to suck properly on the nipple, thus making it much harder.

So I will continue my research, get lots of help, and hope for the best! :P

I had one of those babies who was just a natural. He was born, they placed him on my tummy and he did that amazing newborn crawl reflex up to my breast, latched on and had a feed. All within 1 minute of being born. :)

I just had DH with me at the birth, and will again. My mum would really stress me out and I really wanted it to just be me and DH to be honest.

marzipan I'm 16+5 and haven't felt any movements yet. I also only really have a bump when I need a wee! Rest of the time I just look a bit podgy. You've probably just got tummy muscles of steel

It's so useful to hear other people's views of breastfeeding. I'm quite nervous about it, but definitely do want to breastfeed if possible. I think I will buy a pump etc so if I'm really shattered DH can do a feed.

I've a few stupid questions... Does it stop hurting after awhile? Or will it always hurt a bit? And (TMI) I have b very flat nipples, will I still be able to breastfeed or will itbe more difficult?

Itchiest nipples in the WORLD right now, I think it's you lot all talking about cracked, sore, bleeding, chinese-burned nips. They've got the fear.

If I'm not able to breastfeed I'll be very annoyed at having put up with such enormous waps for so long for nada. (they were F before, currently at G and giving me the worst neck ache! They want to at least be good for something...)

Eeyoreish I also have quite flat nipples (and quite small) I was going ot give these a shot?
Nipple formers

Thanks Eeyore that's reassuring! :)

I'm really keen to bf too - apart from all the health and bonding benefits, we had some friends staying who were ff and my goodness the faff. Maybe they were just a bit disorganised but it seemed to take them about half an hour to prep a bottle.

I'm just planning to have DH at the birth - though have been umming and ahhing about a doula. Has anyone used one? I'm not sure whether the hospital staff would be pleased or not?

I'm still on the fence over bf-ing. I would love to do it, but am of the attitude that if I can't, it's not a bad thing to use formula and plenty of babies (myself and my brother included) have been strong and healthy without bf. I am a bit of a stress bunny and know if I set myself up to try and achieve something and fail I will feel very depressed and worthless. So am going for the 'let's see if it works' approach. If it does, bonus, if I can't or don't want to, then I have a warm loving home for baby and if he/she is fed by a bottle and that's my only 'crime' as a mother then I'm doing ok.

(Should add, I'm not against bf-ing, in fact totally support it and fingers crossed I'll be able to manage it, I just hate all the pressure put on us mums-to-be that breast is best and making those who use formula feel second best)

Milkandtwo if you have any cocoa butter put that on - it really helps! One of mine is so bloody itchy and that seems to shift it!

By the way, my random baking instinct has struck again. After Sunday's fruit cake urge, today I've made a banana cake and have the stuff in to make brownies later. Thing is, I don't even eat much of it once it's baked. Just feel an uncontrollable urge to bake. DH therefore thinks pregnancy so far is amazing.

eeyoreish, as I said a bit earlier - IME the first 3-4 weeks it is sore just for a few seconds at the start of feeds and then after that it isn't sore at all anymore. Unless you have a problem, of course. But generally speaking it doesn't hurt at all once your breasts have got used to it :)

Breastfeeding will usually sort out flat nipples :) It certainly did mine! Went from flat to 'wow you could hang a coat off those' within a week!!

Ignore weird formatting in my post above! I'm at work and was trying to bold your name Eeyoreish, used html instead of Mumsnet controls :)

Oooooh jazz you've reminded me I need to make banana cake as I've got some slightly sorry looking ones that need eating! Wish I could be arsed...

can I ask..... what's a doula?

bugsy It's basically a birth partner, you would see her in the run up to the birth and talk about what kind of birth you want, then she would be there to support you and be an advocate for you. I like the idea of the continuity of support, as obviously mws can be in and out and change shifts, plus I worry that if I am in lots of pain it will stress DH out and we will need a third voice of reason... also it's first birth for both of us so we have no idea what to expect and she could help tell us what's normal and so on...

ah thanks marzi

Good call misskatamari. No cocoa butter but have Champney's bump cream which is lush. It bothered me for so long what it smelt of as it was so familiar but couldn't put my finger on it, then had a revelation yesterday and yelled "SAUNA'S" whilst applying, which flummoxed DH.

Would bloody love a sauna right now. The last time I had one I snuck in and sat on the top bench (I like it hot) behind a group of girls. After 5 mins one of them spotted me out of the corner of her eye in the gloom and shrieked, saying "oh my god I didn't see you come in, you scared the shite out of me" to which I replied, very quietly "...you mean you can see me?" Made myself chuckle for aaages with that one.

bugsy My thoughts are that if all goes well, and there are no dramas, the midwives will be seeing to other people for most of my labour, but as a worry-wart I'd be happier with someone there who can tell me what's normal and what's not, and if necessary go get help whilst DH is still there with me.

I asked a doula about whether or not midwives resented the extra person in the room, an extra "expert" and she said that so long as the doula has some common sense and isn't overbearing, midwives tend to like having doulas there as it can calm down the mother and generally help the whole process.

Basically I see a doula as being like having an older sister or aunt there who's had 15 children before and knows the ropes!

Contraction pain yesterday... Nipple pain today... Weeks of bleeding last week... I think it's going to take longer than 6 months to prepare for all of that

It'll just be dh with me at the birth. My parents live nearby but his are in northern ireland so I'm already paranoid about there being an imbalance in how involved his family can be. Plus, my mum's view of pain or problems is to 'just get on with it', be practical, and stop moaning. She was talking about having her much loved cat put down today because it's smelly and needs monthly vets visits to keep the smell at bay. No emotions!! I should add that she's spent large parts of the last month helping with our painting and refurbishing, she's great, as long as things are logical and make sense which I suspect won't be the case in labour.

eeyoreish no it does not continue to hurt. Once the nipples are used to it it's as easy as pie. You just whip it out whenever baby needs a feed its that simple and no pain. But I think people have to be prepared that it can take a while to get to that point and some like me do end up with a lot of pain before that easy part. That's when a lot of people I know have stopped breastfeeding they just cannot bare that stinging pain. But it really does not last forever and if you can persevere through the pain it is such a magic bond to have with your baby.

I won't be bothering with any bottles or steriliser to begin with. They are things that can easily be picked up if needed after. From my own personal experience and from working with babies. If you really want to succeed with soley breast feeding it is best not to use bottle at all. Baby otherwise gets used to the easier flow of the bottle and does not make as much effort on the breast, which ends up with a decreased milk production and ultimately a need to stop breast and move to bottle. But if your husband is keen to help out and you don't want to use a bottle for reasons above you can always give cup feeding a go. We had to do this for my DD as she was prem and as I was so adamant that I would only be breastfeeding they said she should definitely not have a bottle. So I expressed with the hospital pump and we cup fed her until she was a bit more awake and had the energy for sucking.

Wow a doula sounds good, it seems like quite a popular thing in the U.S. but hadnt heard of them in U.K. I may just go with just my DH and as I will probably need my best friend to have the children.

Has anyone had there DC at the birth? My two want to be there but I know they would just cause trouble touching things etc. I can imagine being mid contraction and having to stop my son playing with some hospital equipment. That would just be stressful.

I was at my little sisters birth but I was 13 at the time. It was amazing, I cut the cord too.

I would loooooove to have my mummy there and mydog, but she and DH would bicker like anything and there's a time and a place for that. I'm considering a Doula.

Breastfeeding makes me feel a bit icky, but i'l give it a whirl.

My quest for girls names (to rival Sir Wilfred Arthur Percival) continues.... what are your thoughts on Peony?

I also like Willow, but it's a little bit common these days (and it makes me sound like a bit of an earth mother) so thought I could go Wilhelmina and shorten it to Willa (as a pose to Willow).

Other than a middle name of Sophie I am STUMPED [CONFUSED]

shropshire how about Briony? Apparently big in the 18th century, but also commonly poisonous if ingested..... Peony is pretty, and is a very auspicious flower in Chinese culture (just in case she wants to live in China?) but I'd be put off by the assonance between Peony and other pee- words. (sorry!)

Thats what DH said......... but I quite like the idea of calling her my little pee pea.

Peony is on my list too shropshire although it does sound a bit like "pee on me"

Would call her sweatpea.

Loving botanical names, other ones I like include Ash, Violet and Rose. Unfortunately all other ones I like have been taken by family and their dogs!

sweatpea would be a laugh, but of course I meant sweetpea!

Willa is in our list too Shropshire. Everyone I've mentioned it to thinks its a daft name but I love it.