Age gap what age is the best age?

[shellandkai]

Me and one of my best friends are both pregnant due a few days apart with our 2nd, which got me thinking her son would be 1 year and 2 months old and my son will be 3yrs and 1 month obviously we are both worried at how we are going to cope with a child already and a new baby. So here's my question what would you say is a good age gap between having babies? I'm undecided as I think it may be hard having a young child of 1 and a baby but at the same time my friend would be still (kind of ) in a routine at nights and early mornings etc with her little would that make it harder or easier? And my ds will be just turned 3 so I'm out of the getting up at nights and very early mornings so will have to do it all again plus after a couple of months my ds will be starting nursery so will be having to get up and get him ready and baby etc to take ds to nursery, so which one of us do other mners will struggle more with the new baby routine etc?

Ps this is not a competition at all it's just the thought has just crossed my mind I know it's going to be hard for both of us but I'm just wondering on your thoughts

Definately not 16 months apart. Love my two dearly but it's hard work. I'm trying and failing to potty train ds1 just turned three at the moment. Ds2 20months will not let him sit on a potty. Arghhh!!!!!

See I did think I might struggle due to not being in the getting up in the night routines but at the same time I feel lucky due to the fact the 1st couple of years with my ds all attention was on him which meant we potty trained him at 2yrs which seemed pretty easy and his speech is brilliant where as I suppose 2 young children you can't concentrate

Solely on one child can you? X

They all have their pluses and minuses.

22mo between mine which was tricky when the first was a baby.

I have friends with 3.5 ish year gaps though and my life is definitely easier now. Went to the farm with my friend and my two were happy to do exactly the same things - play in the sandpit together, go on the swings, feed the animals.

She spent the whole time trying to juggle her 4 yr olds needs with those of a baby who needed to be milk fed, then fed lunch, then walked round for naps etc.

But obviously she had it pretty bloody good with one DC while I was tearing my hair out with two

(sorry, I meant it was tricky when the 2nd was a baby!)

I have three aged just 6, 3 and 2. I find that the three of them play really well together, so easier in that respect, but a very intense 5 years getting here. I think its better to do it with the smaller age gaps, because it is all done in one go, no reverting back. My younger two sometimes reach milestones at a similar time which is interesting. The 2 year old has just watched with interest her brother's potty training, so in a way, most of the hard work is done with her, she has been learning. Sometimes they are mistaken for twins. So more difficult initially, then easier.

There are 4 years 8months between my first two and 21 months between DS2 and DS3. I found the bigger age gap much easier - they don't want exactly the same things from you like two under 2s.

The younger two are becoming good friends now at 4 and 2.3, but equally DS1 and 2 get on well (most of the time). There will be 2 years 11 months between DS3 and DC4, assuming all goes to plan.

I don't know about 'reverting back' to sleepless nights and nappies, but it was bloody hard with the two little ones both waking up in the night, especially as DS3 was a Velcro baby!

Basically, you'll both be fine and the best age gap is whichever one you yourself end up with

We'll have a 2.8 age gap. I don't think I could have coped with early pregnancy with a younger one. DS is pretty independent now. Like you, OP, I'd find it difficult to focus on more than one young child - I think it's important that they each have their baby time protected and don't grow up too quickly.

At 14mo I still had a night waking boob monster!

I'm not too worried about juggling the age gap we'll have as I'm not terribly routine focused for babies anyway. Boob, sling and sleep anywhere for the first few months!

3 years and 1 month is perfect

I have 2 1/2 years between dc1 and dc2 and 2 1/2/ years between dc2 and dc3. It's not what we planned, but it's worked out pretty well.

My children have two year gaps between them which I loved when they were small as they were all at the same stage together.

However now they are teenagers I can see the advantage of bigger gaps as far as exams are concerned. The exam years are relentless with gcse's, 'AS' levels and 'A' levels and a bit more of a breather between each child would have been great.

DDs are 18 months apart. Ideal IMO, as we got all the nappies, sleepless nights etc out of the way all at once - though it was knackering at the time.

As they grew up they were interested in the same toys, had the same friends and played well together. We didn't struggle to find outings and holidays to suit all ages, as their abilities weren't all that different.

I'd definitely do the same thing again.

I had 4 years 9 months between ds1 and 2, he'd started school so I had days to rests while he was there, I will have 3.7 years between ds2 and dc3 and its due just before summer so I'll have 3 kids to look after all summer so no chances to rest! Also back to work in sept so no time them so could be interesting!

Mine are 17, 12, 11, 9 and 8.
DC2 was 4 years and 1 mth when I had DC5.
My biggest gap is 4 and a half years between DC1 and DC2 and my smallest is 13 months between DC4 and DC5.
There are all different gaps between.
I find that the best age gap depends on the ages of the children at the time. It constantly changes plus it can also depend on the personality's of the children as well.

See my son is pretty clingy and as he's our only son he's gets alot of things he has asked for (ok he's only ever asked for a bike and a scooter and the odd pound shop car) so I feel like we may suffer in that aspect he has always been gentle with younger children people ask if I worry about him with a baby but I honestly don't as he's always been very loving with younger children but I can understand that it's pretty much going to be easy for is both at certain stages and harder at others :) so I'm guessing no matter what age they are it's how hard or easy we and our children make it for us?

Mine are 18,10, 2.2 and 17 weeks. I did want a smaller age gap between 3 &4 though, we do have to keep a close eye on the toddler as he's not always the most gentle!

Mine are 15 months apart and it's tough but not impossible. My DH has been v busy since before my second one was born (she is 8 months) and I've done it on my own with no help, I never sit down before 10pm and am up at 6am but seeing them play together is totally worth it.

There are 3 years between ds1 and ds2 and I hate it. I'd always assumed that I would have 2 close together like dsis and I are (14 months) so that they would be in consecutive school years.

As it is, they are now 8 & 5, and whilst they adore each other and can play nicely together for a while, there are also problems that blow up quickly out of nothing that are down to differences in ability and expectations due to age.

Friends of ds1 that have siblings in the year above or below seem to have it easier when organising things for them to do, they can do things together whereas with 3 years difference there are things they can't do together that the younger one in particular gets frustrated he can't do things that he sees his brother do.

Plus from a practical point of view school rubs are hell because I've got 3 tears of trying to get them to 2 different schools, then 1 year together then another 3 years of different schools again...