August 2013 - Part 4 - Half way there already!

[RugBugs]

Old thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1678178-August-2013-Part-3-Adventures-in-the-second-trimester

Stats thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1655004-Due-August-2013-Stats-Thread

I don't think there are degrees of crapness really, if things are rubbish, they are rubbish. I'll get through it, just taking things a day at a time where possible.

Brief background is my husband left just over a month ago, and my mother has been erratic all my life, but is worse and worse since dad died 2 years ago. And particularly the past few months. So, I am feeling rather bereft, and overwhelmed at the prospect of doing this completely alone.

Very glad to have the support here

I agree the support on here is brilliant.

Hun if you cam still function with all the it's etc then you will do fine!

Waves, you can do it, if you can survive this bad time on your own then when the baby is here and your hyperemesis stops, it'll be a breeze! Does your extwatH's family support you?

Have posted here about my work crap if anyone has any advice www.mumsnet.com/Talk/employment_issues/1751433-Maternity-TUPE-business-closing-p45s-HELP

waves hope the lazy pajama day did you good. You're amazingly strong, and remember all of the current situation is new to you. You've done the newborn bit before so at least you know what's coming.

Foof can't help I'm afraid. It's looking like I'm going to have to go back to work after 8-12 weeks as DH's job ends on 31st August and we need one full salary in. It totally sucks. Fingers crossed he gets one soon.

Posted in other post Foof but get to CAB and find out where u stand

A friend who has an 8 week old baby emailed me yesterday with what she calls the 'father-in-law list'. Basically it's all the things you should remember to buy and put in your hospital bag otherwise the only other person available to go to the shops will be FIL - cue embarrasment all around.

? Maternity pads (the really padded ones)
? Breast pads (the Johnsons ones were good, the Boots ones were not so good)
? Haemorrhoid cream (you can use it for under eye bags too!!)
? Latex gloves (I?m still not sure what these were for!)
? Arnica
? Paracetamol
? Ibroprofen
? Andrex Washlets (damp toilet paper ? this was really good, especially in hospital when all you want is to feel fresh and clean)

Hope it helps you guys too!

Haha love it!!!

Advice from a mate who had her dd in Feb was Granny knickers a size bigger than you normally wear to contain the mammoth maternity pads

Hello all. Sorry to hear so many of you are having trouble at work.

Just had 28 week growth scan and check. Baby is a big un! Likely to be 9.5 - 10lb at forty weeks. Yowzers! Is also breech so consultant is recommending a section as I had to have an emergency one with DS. Final decision to be made after another scan at 34 weeks.

Was above average fluid too. Not sure what that means though. They weren't hugely concerned so I'm staying off google! GTT was good and heartbeat v strong so not worrying.

Am I right in thinking the third trimester starts today?

28+0

Oh my life mrsd i don't envy you that!! They haven't measured me yet...guess at my 28 week check they will but i am hoping for a small one

Evening all,

Thanks for the FIL list Ruck. Will have to take a note of it.

Sorry for all those suffering work problems. I've tried to put a give a bit of a HR slant below, in case it may be of some use.

Woofers - There isn't a standard 'right to request' occupational health advice in law, but the NHS may have specific policies on that. What is in law is that you have a right to risk assesment in pregnancy that should include hydration and toilet issues, as these are health & safety concerns. I imagine that if that assesment throws up that there is a problem, occ health advice would normally be sought. Ultimately, your employer has a duty of care towards you (and by default, your unborn baby) so if you are able to evidence that your working conditions are likely to cause damage, then they must do their best to rectify that. Whether that would mean office work I can't say, but it might be. It all depends on the specifics of your situation. As regards flexible working, you can put a request in at any point during your employment (assuming you have not already submitted one in the past 12 months) and it must be considered ASAP. I normally advice pregnant employees about to go on maternity to wait until about 3 months before their return date to put their request in so there is time to consider it, but it avoids the danger of circumstances changing and the mother realising midway through leave that what she's agreed no longer will work out. Hope that makes sense.

BabyH- Good luck with dealing with your manager and the OH report.

Trixie - Yes, they do legally have to consider a flexible working request, though as they don't have to agree it the right is limited. It's a matter of you weighing up your own situation, risks, etc to decide how far you want to push that right. Sometimes giving an employer the legal facts and raising a fuss works well, but sometimes that can create its own future problems for the employee, so it comes down to individual decisions and 'tactics' as it were...

IJustWore - Hope your manager gets their finger out and gets that risk assessment done very soon! It should in theory be an opportunity for you to highlight the impact of all that extra work stress on your health.If they still don't bother, I'd be asking your manager/HR for a copy of the formal grievance policy as the NHS really should be on top of such things!!!

Thanks chocolate. Am still waiting for the occ health report to come thru Grrr. Did ask the Dr to email it to me but will chase hr on Monday if not had it cos am at Gp next week and will need t i think

I hope you don't mind a small rant. I know a lot of you are going through worse.

curled up in bed wanting to cry. it's my grandads funeral tomorrow and dh is being crap. I had a late meeting so asked him to pick up some food on the way home. he didn't want to so ordered a take away then said he didn't have any cash so took it from mine which I withdrew for the charity collection tomorrow. he's been really snappy all night. I asked for a cuddle and he doesn't want to as his dinner is still going down (2 hrs later). is it too much to want a cuddle from your husband?

sorry. on the grand scheme not important but I feel awful

Oh Foof - cuddles from your husband are important, especially when you're going through a sad and difficult time. It's nowhere near as good - but have an unmumsnetty from me.

Awww Ruck am sending hugs ur way!!! Men are pants sometimes.

Something is bothering him...have you asked him what is up? I know its you that needs the support but might open the door to getting that hug.

Oh bugger - Sorry I meant Ruck above. It's late and I have pregnancy brain .

Hope your ok ruck sending hugs xx

mrsd I read dif everywere, some things say 27wk is 3rd trimester and some say 28wk is, but yes your in 3rd lol. And how big was your ds. I'm also worried about size on this baby, ds2 was 9ib, 2.5ib bigger then ds1, so im scared of a big growth again this time lol

Xx

Chocolate - thank you very much for your advise.

Ruck - I hope all is well for today. Remember men are from Venus.
Don't feel guilty or play down your feelings. Some of us are going through rough times but that doesn't mean there are comparisons. Loosing a family member is tough. Being preggers ( as I am rapidly finding out) is tough. Having miscommunication with dh is tough. All these things together are tougher still.
Much love and hugs for today, and the next few weeks too. Xxx

thanks everyone. just home now. totally drained so off for a nap.
chocolate you made me smile with your confusion there.

Beckie DS was 8lb 1oz and three days early. This bump feels different. Very very full!

Mrs d77 my book says third trimester starts at 27 weeks. So we are in.
Also 28+0

Mrsd77 I think the level of fluid can impact on the estimated weight.
My fluid was low and DD was estimated to be 5lb1 a week before she was born weighing 7lb1.

I felt baby turn from sideways to upright last night, I would love to know which way up she is though!

I think my little lady is head down but can't wait til she gets a bit bigger and I can tell properly. All the really powerful kicks are under my ribs while the softer ones are in my groin area so guessing they are from hands but I could be wrong lol

Your posts sound a bit more positive than they did a few weeks ago, BabyH. I really hope I'm reading that right :)

I'm in a bit of a funk just now with lots of crap going on for the next couple of months. Hopefully in July/August I'll have time to relax and enjoy my family and enjoy being pregnant rather than stressing about work/study. I'm just going to have to switch to autopilot to get through everything until then. Thankfully we have a holiday booked in early July and I'm just aiming to get all of us there in one piece as I know I can relax then. A reward for my efforts, if you like.

Hi jolly I am starting to feel a bit better. Still doesn't feel real but is feeling less surreal if that makes sense

Hi, thanks for the advice chocolate my manager has form for being a bit of an arse unfortunately, all talk no action and full of bluster when he gets caught out. When I first told him he told me to avoid lifting, and to say I had a bad back and he had told me I wasn't to lift - fair enough. But he also told me to avoid a certain chemical we work with and when I questioned how I could as it is a big part of my job and I often work alone he just shrugged. My colleagues have been very helpful since they have known though, doing things on night shift so they are set up for me and I have less contact.

I logged on to say is anybody else suffering leg and foot cramps? God they are excruciating :(( I sometime used to get foot cramps when I was really comfy in bed and did a big stretch and they have started up in my foot and calf now. I got so little sleep last night after a late shift as my PGP was playing up and I got first a foot cramp then a leg cramp. I was shouting out with pain. I can still feel a tenderness in my calf where the cramp was.

Been reading a little about them, and have been eating bananas recently anyway, will maybe look at a magnesium supplement as my antenatal vits don't have 100% of the rda and I'm not sure I get enough in my diet.