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April 2013 part six...what does the third trimester have in store?

987 replies

edinfirst · 12/01/2013 22:43

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EssexWelsh · 09/02/2013 00:34

Olibobs what sort of book is it, have you written before, how long do you expect it to take? I've signed up to mark exam papers while on my 'holidays' so feeling similarly, just hoping I can fit both my roles in too x

aufaniae · 09/02/2013 00:48

Ollibobs, "Is it possible that life "after baby" can be similar to life "before baby"

I take it this is your first? The answer is that life after baby is very different to life before baby. But does that mean writing an ebook is impossible? No, not necessarily!

However, this is really important IMO, if you are going to do work (even freelance, at home work) you need childcare. That could well be an informal arrangement (e.g.) DP taking the baby for a couple of hours at a time, or something more formal like a nanny.

People do not take their 4 month old babies to the office and expect to be able to work, so why do we expect we can do the same at home? I know I did for some reason. I took on some freelance when DS was 5 months. A week later, I was completely stressed and had acheived nothing, I had to admit defeat! This time round if I do any freelance while the baby is little, i'll definitely arrange childcare.

That's not to say it's impossible without childcare for everyone, I know there are people who manage it, but they must have amazingly calm
babies and have some kind of super powers IMO as there's no way most mere mortals could juggle a young baby and work without childcare IMO!

Also worth giving yourself some proper time with your baby before you start worrying about it. In the first weeks, managing to have a shower and maybw get as far as the corner shop while looking after your newborn are major achievements IMO! Writing a book? Forget it, that comes later!

How much time do you think you'll need to write it, realistically?

Not trying to put you off btw, just trying to help with logistics!

This reminds me of the essay [[http://ebooks.adelaide.edu.au/w/woolf/virginia/w91r/ A Room
of One's Own]] by Virginia Wolfe, btw, do you know it?

EssexWelsh · 09/02/2013 08:37

Just off to my 2nd NCT class, looking forward!

Ollibobs · 09/02/2013 12:06

Thanks for your insight aufaniae. Yes, this is my first child and I think you make a good point about the childcare situation. Luckily, DH is very hands on in things and we have had a long talk this morning about it and he said he will do whatever it takes to ensure that I meet the deadline. In the long term, it may be better for our family in terms of job opportunities for me (financially and work/life balance wise), so we are going to work together to get it done.

I have a few weeks off for maternity leave before the baby comes (provided I don't need a section due to a low-lying placenta) so thought I would try to get a lot done in those few weeks.

Essex I am newspaper journalist, so hopefully, it shouldn't be too much to take on. The book is a non-fiction book about the field I specialise in, so hopefully it shouldn't be too taxing as I know what I need to write etc. Its just the volume of work so to speak. Its just so hard to plan life after the baby arrives, when one doesn't have any idea of what to expect....

One thing I do know, is I am not going to do anything in the months following the birth. I think I will just focus on getting through each day, rather than than trying to write a best-seller with just a few hours sleep!

Thanks for all your help though ladies. Sometimes you just need another opinion. xx

LikeCandy · 09/02/2013 16:16

Hi all, happy weekend! Here's crossing fingers that next week is a little kinder to those having a rough time of it at the moment!

I bought a few more bits today, 2x 6-18m gro bags (2.5 tog) and a gro egg thermometer. i'm also really pleased with an Aden & Anais sleeping bag and 4 large swaddles/blankets - all reduced, from various places!
Hoping to order cot mattress and bouncey chair later in the week - we're getting there slowly!

Also got my antenatal classes schedule through the post, a 4 week 2hr 'parenting' course and a single 2hr breastfeeding class, all at the local hospital. I'm looking forward to it!

ollibobs sounds exciting! good luck!

32+3

SneezySnatcher · 09/02/2013 18:55

Hi all. I'm now £119 poorer as I bought three nursing bras and matching pants! Even more traumatic is the size - 30j! Hope they go down a bit after finishing BF!

JoRich77 · 09/02/2013 20:23

Hi all

Sorry to hear some of you have had a bad week. Mines been OK just dont seem to have much head space to think about the baby, between working full time, starting a business and building works at home. Something will have to give !

I have most basic stuff for baby now just need mattress, bouncer/swing and then stuff for me/hospital bag.

Was looking at bouncers and swings and there are so many out there. Just wondering what everyone else is going for..

Ollibobs · 09/02/2013 20:49

Sneezy how did you know what size to get your bras? I was thinking about this today and wondered if I should wait until after my milk comes in? Although, like I will have time for that! Wink

Also, MIL keeps saying I need a plastic mattress protector for my bed in case my waters breaking while I'm sleeping. Seems a bit extreme/old fashioned...Shock

What do you guys think?

Dysgu · 09/02/2013 21:46

Ollibobs the book project sounds interesting and, if your DH is on board, then it certainly sounds doable, especially if you can get lots done in those weeks before the baby arrives.

I am finishing work in 3 weeks (although only 10 working days and only 7 of those actually in front of my class) so will have time on my hands if this baby doesn't come too early. However, I am not too hopeful of getting anything done in that time (but will have DD2 for 2 days each week).

However, what with the diabetes clinic telling me they would induce me at 38 weeks and then, the big worry of the day is that I was spotting this morning! It was not much and only really (TMI) when I wiped. I probably wouldn't have noticed it really if I wasn't watching out for such things - especially with the baby being quiet these days! It has been moving about and we have been listening to it on our fetal heart thingy but this is what happened with DD1 when she arrived at 32 weeks... I lost my plug on the Tuesday (but didn't know it was that and just told the MW about some spotting) and the went quiet and arrived very quickly on Sunday!

So we are waiting to see what happens - and I really should make a start on my school reports and finish the assessments I didn't mark yesterday in case things kick off soon! Should probably pack hospital bag too.

We probably need to do some shopping too - we still don't have a cot or a pushchair/car seat (I sold our Phil n Teds last week but just can't decide what I want this time Hmm ) We have also been looking at bouncers and baby gyms as we don't have those either. I did buy a mattress for the moses basket yesterday and I bought some big pants for those days after the birth - they are not disposable but as they were only £3 for 4 and you get the second pack half price from QS, I am planning on treating them as though they are disposable!

Dysgu · 09/02/2013 21:48

Oh and re the plastic mattress protector Olli - we have never had one - have simply turned the mattress both times as my waters have always gone in bed Blush However, we have agreed that after this one, wherever my waters go, we will be buying a new mattress!

SneezySnatcher · 09/02/2013 21:53

ollibobs I went to bravissimo - I have a difficult-to-find size even when not pg (30FF) so always go there. Ideally I'd have waited a bit longer, but I can't see when I'll next be able to get there. Last time, there wasn't much difference when my milk came in so I'm hoping for the same!

My MIL bought me a mattress protector last time in case my waters went. I didn't bother with it, but then I was induced at 39+5 anyway. I won't bother this time either. They are just as likely to go in the bathroom/on the sofa/in the kitchen and I don't find the protectors very comfortable so I'll avoid!

photochick · 09/02/2013 22:14

bought a nursing pillow today and have reserved a few items to collect in Southampton next weekend. Still need the moses basket mattress and car seat but then it's mainly just bits for me.
We got to go round the hospital maternity Ward on Friday as part of our antenal classes. it was excellent and I am determined to get in their HUGE bath! Smile

EssexWelsh · 09/02/2013 22:35

Keep us updated Dysgu hope everything settles down

bunnygirl80 · 10/02/2013 02:40

ollibobs I got measured for nursing bras when DS was about 3 weeks old last time. My boobs didnt get hugely bigger once milk had come in and supply had settled, but I did go down a whole back size in that time. I held off as I'm a weird size so am stuck buying expensive bras, and I didn't want to spend hundreds only to discover they didnt fit, or if I had been unable to bf and didnt need nursing bras at all.

dysgu hope baby stays put for a few more weeks for you

I had a bit of drama this morning. Had about two hours of regular cramps and tightenings about 5 mins apart. Went to delivery suite for monitoring, and of course it stopped completely as soon as I got there. Baby is happy though, and they didnt pick up any contraction like activity on the trace. They think it might have been baby trying to turn as she's gone back from transverse to breech. Am now back home but on bed rest for the rest of today

birdbrain17 · 10/02/2013 02:45

aaaaaaaahhh its 2:45am and I can't sleep! Had such a lovely relaxing day and was looking forward to getting loads done on sunday but now I'm probably gonna be too tired. After spending 3 hours tossing and turning and disturbing poor DH I decided to come downstairs and make myself a hot drink...anyone up to keep my company?!

32+0

SilentMammoth · 10/02/2013 03:18

Yes, me! I've lurked a lot and ame 32+6, looking forward to dc5.
Now do I get up and do stuff our not?

birdbrain17 · 10/02/2013 03:20

silent nice to hear someone even if it is only writing on a screen! I don't want to do stuff as DH has to be up at 6:30 for his sunday job and feel bad to disturb him any more so I'm just browsing through iplayer, haven't found anything interesting yet though

edinfirst · 10/02/2013 03:42

Hello, if you are still up I'm awake too. Woken up by cramp in the side of my leg and can't get back to sleep. I don't mind too much as I think the cramp was induced by wearing heels when DH and I were out for dinner last night, and we had a really lovely time. I did very little yesterday so that I'd be ok for going out, so I'm wondering if I just don't need the sleep now? I've been exhausted for a couple of days and had early nights/naps so being awake now doesn't seem as dramatic somehow as usual. Guess I will just browse the net for a while. I have just had a few kicks from Bumps, so it feels quite nice to have him/her to keep me company too.

Such a lot has been going on on the thread thus week I'm sorry that I've not been able to keep up. I have been thinking about everyone who has worries though. As I think someone said yesterday, not too long now til this pregnancy malarky is behind us. I am starting to get really excited now, but am still not sure that in a few weeks I will have a baby to look after! Can't wait to meet him or her though! :D

OP posts:
edinfirst · 10/02/2013 03:44

Still not sure that it has sunk in that in a few weeks I'll have a baby to look after

OP posts:
bext · 10/02/2013 03:58

I'm here too. Just woken up wide awake, no idea why Hmm

Have got SIL, BIL and their two DCs down for the weekend. SIL brought three massive bags of baby clothes which is great. Will enjoy going through those yesterday.

Also been interesting watching DH with my very naughty niece. He's been reading lots of baby books (suddenly realised the enormity of what's about to happen to us!) and it's really got him engaged with how we will raise our child...discipline etc. he's never really had much confidence with kids before so it's been nice seeing him really talk to her this weekend and engage with her in quite a confident way.

I also had an odd week. Bump hadn't moved much which I mentioned to the midwife at my 28 week appt on Thursday. I thought if she got a heartbeat on the Doppler then it would all be fine, which she did but still insisted I go for proper monitoring on the delivery suite and they insisted I then go for a scan on Friday morning. Of course, they picked a strong heartbeat (plus lots of movement I can't feel) on the trace and at the scan, he started dancing the minute the probe went on my tummy. They think he's just moved and I can't feel him the same way I was used to.
And of course I ended up more stressed about having to miss work on Friday morning for the scan than I had been about not feeling Bump!

On the subject of nursing bras, I also use Bravissimo and they're great (have gone up to a 32GG and they're still growing!). They will fit you for nursing before you have the baby and make a best guess as to what you'll be and then if they're not right, you can keep them for longer than the normal returns period as they recognise you might not be out shopping with a week old baby!

28+6

bext · 10/02/2013 04:02

And yes, Edinfirst, it does seem a bit unreal, doesn't it?!

At the Delivery suite on Thursday there were two couples coming out with their new DCs just as I arrived. The mums both looked pale as sheets and completely shell shocked and the blokes were beaming, marching out clutching brand new car seats! Both babies were tiny (probably 10lb whoppers, but still looked tinyGrin) but gorgeous little faces peering out from behind their blankets.
Made it all seem a bit more real!

birdbrain17 · 10/02/2013 04:05

wow I never realised how many people were up at this time of the night or rather early morning. I'm so tired but I know if I go to bed I'm just going to still be lying there awake for ages but it's getting ridiculous now I went to bed at 11 and have been up since 1:30 what should I do, I'm thinking of doing something mad like baking some biscuits but I don't want to crash half way through and then end up with a massive mess in the morning, on the other hand the idea is to tire myself out....
just wish I'd gone to the library last week then I'd have something to read!

bext · 10/02/2013 04:25

Poor you Birdbrain! Can you find a short story online to read? Or I like listening to the radio on headphones - radio 4 on Iplayer is pretty good at getting my brain to relax!

bext · 10/02/2013 04:26

Poor you birdbrain.
Can you find a short story online?
Or radio 4 on my phone with headphones in bed is pretty good for getting my brain to relax!

SilentMammoth · 10/02/2013 04:26

Ok, I've got up, lit the fire and made a coffee listening to radio. I need to polish the dds shoes, but I will do that late r!