May 2013- boys , girls or the unknown? Over half way there!

[scooby26]

Hi all, new had for may 2013!

Art Yes to the leg and foot cramps. I keep having to jump out of bed with them in the middle of the night.i get them often whilst trying to put on my shoes as well which I'm struggling with already

I make big babies too Artigene - they also never want to come out so they obviously like staying put and getting fat.

Beaut I feel like its a girl this time but I think I started thinking like that when it survived against a lot of odds including morning after pill and it felt like fate played a hand. Either way this baby really wants to be here and I can't wait to meet them.

Fab news 10 he's doing so well bless him .... Hope your holding up ok too ....xxx

That's brilliant news 10, he sounds like he's really pushing on. Well done for all the expressing - it's not much fun.

That's such lovely news to hear 10 and so glad you've been getting some cuddles. Very well done on the expressing...I've never found that an easy thing and it sounds like you're doing brilliantly :)

It's good news for you if you're well enough to be getting discharged but I can only imagine what a wrench it will be.

Still thinking lots about you all. Much love x

That's fantastic news 10 - wow, Sebastian is doing so well, and fantastic that he is taking your milk and that you can have proper cuddles! I'm not sure if you've read about kangaroo care, but loads of skin to skin contact with little ones who are in NICU is supposed to be fantastic for them!

Re names, we have decided - I always find boys names harder, but we have picked one of each, although I do hope this is a girl as I def prefer the girls name!!!!

My friend used/practiced hypno birthing and she said it was really helpful!

I just can't wait - 5 more weeks at work after this one, with a day off each week so no more full weeks!! Am absolutely shattered - really struggling to get comfortable in bed, and then am really stiff and struggling to walk in the mornings (well, and all day really!!). Am really slow getting around and needing people to help me carry things, but it's fine really.

I'm not getting leg/foot cramps as such, but every evening at about 8pm ish my legs get really itchy - thankfully doesn't last too long though!!

Have got the health visitor coming round this morning, and the house is a tip!! We had the joiner in the other day so have moved stuff around for him and there is stuff all over the place, and there is no way that she is going upstairs!!! Has anyone else had appointments with their HV's yet? It does seem really early, but we'll see.

Got whooping cough jab tomorrow morning, then scan & GTT on Friday morning - busy week for appts!!

Sorry for the epic post, must have been ages since i last popped on!!

28 + 1

10 what a trooper he is and you. It's so amazing. Hope someone is looking after you

Anyone else considering a CS? The fear is starting to kick in and I start crying every time I think about going into labour and giving birth. :(

29 today

If it helps panda I feel close to tears every time I think about the CS I have to have. They won't let me go for a VBAC as I have had 2 sections for failure to progress. I wish I could go into labour naturally and have the babies esp with all the negative press about sections going round at the moment. You'll be just fine and what reward at the end (smile)

Panda, I'm not considering a CS. There's no way you can have an elective here. What is it that you're scared of? Have you discussed this with your midwife? They could help you write things into your birth plan in a way that would help you manage your concerns.

What am I scared of? That's a good question and I'm not sure I know the answer. I had a regular birth for my daughter 20 years ago, which according to the midwife at the time was a perfect textbook birth. So in my mind, it can only get worse.

Then there's the whole 'you forget the pain as soon as it's over'. Not me. I have a photographic/video memory which is common in people with autism. My memory of the pain is crystal clear, as if it were only yesterday.

Then there's my increasing terror at invasive stuff that I'm aware of, which gets worse and worse over time. EG I now have to be sedated for dentists appointments.

There's also the autism and the extreme anxiety that comes in any situation which feels out of my control. All of the work I have done with my occupational therapist is about planning, schedules, routines. My brain just can't process the ... I can't explain it ... randomness I suppose, of labour.

panda have you asked about a section? From what you've said, I think you have a very good case to be put forward for one. I want one, but haven't properly broached it yet. I'm consultant led but the birth hasn't been bought up. My last labour was induced and went well. But the three hours of pushing have led to not sure this is the place-don't want to scare anyone stress incontinence. And tbh, I'm bloody sick of it. Really getting me down as it much worse in pregnancy. (I'm also a wuss).

10 I'm an in awe of you and Seb! What an absolute star! They must be amazed at the hospital too. He's officially 28 weeks gest tomorrow isn't he?

I also have 5 weeks left at work, not including half term. I'm struggling to be honest. No actual pregnancy issues at all this time. Just sheer exhaustion. In fact I'm off to bed now for a nap .

10 excellent news, he's doing wonderfully. I'm sure the sore boobs will ease once you have been expressing for a while. It is very strange leaving them in the hospital but iirc you can go in anytime of the day or night if you want to. Keep the updates coming, everyone is thinking of you all! How is your DH doing?

Panda and also anyone else talking about the hypnobirthing - I have also got not so nice memories of my first labour and have been doing hypno classes for a few weeks now. I have gone from wanting an elective c-sect to thinking I can definitely try to have an intervention-free labour! I'm doing the Marie Mongan one but think the Maggie Howells method is supposed to be much the same (but UK based so no accent).

I'm finding the CDs really relaxing and already feel much more in control. Panda I think perhaps you are like me in terms of wanting to plan and wanting to be in control - this method helps as you feel like you're doing something to prepare and will also have something ready to 'do' when you go into labour. I honestly can't recommend it enough, and there's no harm in trying it, even if the CD helps you fall asleep quicker at night it's only a bonus.

Yep, I've also had 20 years of stress incontinence too. Everytime I get a cough or cold, out come the tena pads. So there's fear of that getting worse too.

I have an appointment with a hospital midwife next week. I'm in Sweden and they have a special programme for women with birth issues. The appointment is a referral to that, so I'll see what she says.

I'm so pathetic, I'm even more scared of having an epidural than giving birth. So it's either natural pain relief free (gas and air makes me sick and there's no pethidine here) or a GA. Typica ASD: it's all or nothing

You're not pathetic Panda. It's perfectly natural to be apprehensive of labour. I had an epidural when I had DS - it's that or nothing here (no G&A, bastards - I was looking forward to it). It wasn't traumatic, it was done quickly and was VERY effective.

Could you telephone your midwife and ask her about the possibility of a section?

Whereabouts are you in Sweden? We spent three weeks there in the summer and I absolutely loved it. We were going to go back this summer en famille but DD's arrival has scuppered that plan.

We're in Skaraborg, about 1.5 hours NE of Gothenburg, buried under a mountain of snow.

I thought it might be snowy where you are! Such a beautiful country. I can't wait to go back.

Evenin' all!

10 what brilliant news! Love hearing how Seb keeps going from strength to strength

Panda sorry you are finding things rough at the moment. Fingers crossed your appointment next week will help you feel more informed/in control

Those of you under consultant-led care, can I ask how it works?! I was switched from community-based to consultant-led yesterday and now don't quite understand how all my appointments work (I also like to feel that I have a plan to follow).

In my notes, there is a schedule at the front for what the community midwife should discuss with me at each appointment. For the appointments that have been switched to the hospital, who will go through that stuff with me (bf, birth plan etc.)? A midwife or the consultant? Yesterday I saw a midwife very briefly for the usual measurements, and then had a longer chat with the consultant - is that what usually happens? Realise it prob also varies a lot from hospital to hospital.

I know I should be grateful that they are keeping a closer eye on me (even though it's pointless as far as I can work out, but that's another story), but I will miss just popping to the surgery to see the midwife (5 mins from my office!) - the hospital just feels so much more impersonal, and somehow I just feel more comfortable asking the community midwives my stupid questions, rather than the consultant or hospital midwives .

Sorry for long post but so !

aberjen not sure if this is your 1st but I was under consultant care last time and this time and I only saw my consultant a handful of times. My midwife is in the doc surgery next door so I see her for all appointments in between. After my 28 week app with midwife I checked my consultant app and realised it was 36 weeks which is crazy so I booked a 32 week with the midwife and just explain when I see her. Not sure if that helps

10 So glad to hear Seb and you are doing well.The expressing will get easier and by the sounds of it he will be home before you know it

Panda Couldn't leave your post unanswered.Your autism sounds very similar to my Ds1. I don't know that there's anything I can say to help.Other than I would really push for a cs if you feel that's the only way you can control the situation.How did you get through the first labour though? I would have thought that scarier as it was the complete unknown,out of routine and you can't control anything.Is it just the photographic memory of every thing that will happen this time and the memory of pain that puts you off rather than the event itself.

Not sure any of that made sense.

For what it's worth I wanted a c section but if I have complications I will be on my own after two weeks with 3 children so I decided against it.Another thing that put me off is feeling an epidural put in.

I had an epidural with ds1 as I was prepped for a c section after two hours of pushing and I had one as soon as I could in labour with ds2.I can honestly say I didn't feel either epidural go in as I was too busy coping with contractions.

10 really pleased to hear he's doing so well, we're all here for hand-holding when you're discharged and are missing him. So glad to hear you're also having cuddles now!

maybe I want to know whose names you've been eyeing up! I can see why you're considering a section, I'm not surprised what 3 hours of pushing has done to you down there, my entire labour with DD lasted that long.

elly that does sound early for the first meeting with HV. Mine does them from 36 weeks, both times the appointment has been booked 1-2 after I've already had the baby! I still see her when I have DD weighed so I might ask if she can book it earlier this time.

panda you're not pathetic, and there's a medical reason for you to feel how you do. No one is going to judge you, you need to feel comfortable with however you choose to have your baby.

Those suffering cramps during the night I really suffered with DD. try standing about a couple of feet away from a wall and leaning forward giving them a really good stretch every night before you go to bed.

Hello everyone, sorry for the long-ish silence, been a busy couple of weeks here.

10 - really glad to hear all is going well, please post more pics on FB of your little one if you have the time/inclination, Sebastian looks absolutely gorgeous!

Panda - I'm with you on the fear of birth / CSection thing. I don't really want to talk about it but am very worried about the whole thing and may ask for a CS once I've slotted into the UK system (am still abroad at the moment).

Thanks to those of you who asked about my health. I can't remember when I last updated but in essence the outcome has been: no heart problems (hooray!) and no liver cancer (hooray!). I haven't heard the final outcome for one of the other tests re: clotting (they are being terribly slow) but everything is looking good at the moment. It has been such a wake-up call and has reminded me to be grateful and happy for what I have in life, and not to take anything for granted. I have a wonderful husband, a loving family, a good job and close friends - I am so, so lucky. I suppose it's natural in life to have aims and goals and to strive for more (at the moment for me it's us having our own home, ideally before the baby comes) but I mustn't ever forget what I have right now at this moment, which is a lot! Anyway, sorry if that sounds a bit sentimental...

In other news, I'm now in Australia for a couple of weeks. Long-haul flight (7 and a half hours from Singapore) was ok but ankles became very swollen. Not sure what the 14/15 hours back to the UK from Singapore is going to be like in March, dreading it a little but am hoping for a sympathy upgrade.

SO jealous of those of you finishing work soon (though admittedly, I'm only 25+2 today so a little behind many of you). It looks as though I'm going to work right through until my due date for various reasons - another 15 weeks or so from now. I just hope I can still waddle onto the bus / tube at that point.

Thanks to all of you who've been so supportive during my time in Singapore - only 3 weeks now until I fly home, I can't believe it, it has been an extremely tough 6 or so months but I'm nearly there! I've nearly survived!