March 2013 IX: Cruising to Christmas with burgeoning bumps

[Sheldonella]

Thanks sarahs999 for the lovely new thread name :)

Old thread here

No 9, can you believe it

Grots - ahh, so not just me then, good to know.

Manda - re antisocial, apparently it's v common at this stage, so I wouldn't feel too bad. As for being honest with your friend, isn't that what friends are supposed to do? Although I appreciate asking questions is a more diplomatic way of doing it. I've a 3 strikes and you get no sympathy rule. Moan once, well we all need a moan occasionally. Moan twice - well you know you need to sort this now don't you. Moan 3 times - get on and sort yourself out because noone else will.. Etc. I sound harsh don't I.

Re NrM not being there.. I'm quite ok with it all really. Honestly, if he'd like to be there then I hope he makes it back in time, but if he's in London & doesn't fancy rocking up til the end I really wouldn't mind. I quite like the idea of disappearing into a cave and emerging when it's all over. The having people there, who aren't medical professionals, really does bother me. I know my Mum wants to be there and two friends have offered up sincere - we'll be there if yer likes - but I just like the idea of being alone. Everyone keeps telling me I'll feel differently when it happens, we shall see.

Nannys - cost for a Nanny in London is between £10 & £15 an hour, so for a full week for a year you're looking at about £40k and I've yet to suss out how this squares with NI contributions, I suspect depends on whether we hire direct or via an agency. Not cheap. But as a nursery is about £30k a year - to £35k full time, with no flexibility on hours etc its not as pricey as it first seems. We're looking at a nanny share too, so could prove v reasonable. We'll find out soon enough I guess.

I have a ridiculous 5 pillow combination! 1 in standard position with the 2 on top making a v-shape (never got round to buying v-pillow!) then one down either side of me to hug/put leg over! DH is sleeping in very straight line on very edge of very large bed and hugging the bedside table!

Although we're trying to decorate and furnish the nursery so there's somewhere to hide/feed/store stuff etc we have very little to put in it! Have ordered wallpaper, stealing cot from friends, ordered half price changing table/chest of drawers (bargain) and getting comfy normal armchair for me to hide out on for middle of night feeding frenzies! 5 white 0-3m babygros and 5 vests plus one newborn stripy babygro are our total clothing collection! Very much relying on presents and me doing some shopping in the next 9 weeks! Thought nappies/wipes/general practicality could definitely wait until after mat leave starts at 36 weeks!

Did order changing bag yesterday though after seeing on sale and pram and car seat are on order and will be delivered closer to time!

Due to job have previously been ridiculously paranoid about having baby stuff in house having been waiting for something to go wrong like true pessimist but now seem to have got rid of that and am starting to get excited and yet still reassuringly terrified.

manda this is the only high chair to buy. Cheap , easy to clean( dishwasher!), and lots of space for baby's food.

Totally agree with Ood - I had a posher one that I ended up giving away and replaced with the Ikea one. Much better.

I miss lying on my front too. Am really looking forward to being able to do so again, although I suppose great big bags of milk stuck to my chest are going to get in the way too, aren't they?

As for pillows, I seem to have been gradually decreasing my heap. Got a fairly fluffy one, and on top of that an upside-down heart-shaped cushion - supports the head nicely with the shoulder fitting in the gap. And then a thin pillow between the knees, because having them touching one another is unbearable for some reason. Have just realised this means the man is currently using the other eight (!) pillows.

I'm fairly antisocial at the moment too. Quite happy for people to visit at home, but social events elsewhere just don't appeal. Partly I'm too knackered, ache too much, don't want to end up standing up or otherwise uncomfortable. And partly I can't be bothered when I can only have one drink if everyone else is going to be drunk. Skipped a new year party and one just before Christmas, and I'll be missing a friend's birthday drinks tomorrow (though will make cake and have her round over the weekend).

Those nursery costs are enough to give me a heart attack. How on earth does anyone afford that?!

Holy crap to London nursery costs!!!! They are no where near that in the midlands, more like 7 - 8k! Yet another reason why i would personally hate city living!
I will look after your LO tramp!

I had a massage a couple of weeks ago for my Xmas pressie and they used special foam cushions to build a kind of nest I could lie face down on with a hole for my bump! I could have stayed there all day!
Can't remember who mentioned it but yes when bf it is not necessarily comfy lying on front particularly when engorged first few days, and then when leaking everywhere! Even breast pads don't always contain it!!
On pillows I use just my normal orthopaedic one (bad neck) and another one that I hug on my side or put behind my back so if I do roll over I am prevented from going flat on my back!
With ds1 pregnancy I had a long pillow I called "phil" and dh got really annoyed with having my "boyfriend" in bed as it took so much room and I felt a bit like I was wrestling with it. Got rid a while ago!!

Oh yea, nursery costs are stupid pricey. It explains why so many parents go part time and so use nursery for one or two days a week. I think we will get costs and things in hand pretty quickly, but as needs must that I start bringing in cash, it really is necessary for me to get working and back on track as soon as I can. Au-Pair is cheapest option, but 1) I don't feel we have room for someone else to live with us 2) I don't want someone else to live with us 3) I think when under 2 a nanny is probably better

An au pair is only supposed to work a certain number of hours a week and wouldn't cover a full week.....

Also would you really want to leave two young children under the sole charge of a young unqualified girl?? Hard enough looking after little ones when they are your own and you are experienced!
Don't mean to sound like an old woman but having seen the care some childcarers (of various types - au pairs and nannies) give to their charges when out and about in London, and having employed a young 22 yr old and now a nanny with 25 yrs experience I would definitely opt for experience.
Childcare costs are just hideous though - and given it is so we can work and pay a hugs amount if tax, I do think it should be tax deductible!!!

Well taxman would say its our choice to go to work and pay someone, which is true in some instances.

Oh yes qualifications thing, although some au-pairs seem to be qualified, just not English.

And heck, you shouldn't expect anyone to work 24-7.

Just caught up, has only taken since boxing day, and then obviously just lost a massive post!

Think can definitely relate to the anti-social thing, Christmas was busy and we were tired and having to to and fro a lot to see family. Have just been having a lovely sense of new year resolute-ness though so have managed to catch up with my correspondance and actually begin to make plans with friends again!

Will be 31 weeks on Saturday, still seems a long way off but looking forward to summer months off with my children :) (def a little head in the sand about birth bit!) Feeling quite full of baby, getting painful jabs but like the reassuring movements.

Dd just turned 2 on the 21st, we had a day of fun planned for her: build a bear, Christmas display, little tea party with six friend with daddy dressing as Santa to bring them all a present... But then dh and I both came down with norovirus and so dd had to be 'evacuated' down to London on the train with my brother to escape our plague! Comically tragic! Dh and I spent the rest of the day sick and spanked out!

Went back to work today, on my three day schedule have 18 days left to work now, but loads to get done. Like being busy so that's fine :) will be off at 36 or 37 weeks so that should be nice.

Hoping to keep up again now I'm through that end of year lethargy. Was lovely to catch up with all your news though.

Hi all,
I'm another lurker finally coming out of the shadows. I've been watching these threads since the very first one and thought it was about time I outed myself. I'm 28 weeks pregnant and due on the 28th March and not remotely prepared! Also have a two year old DS so I'm blaming the toddler madness on my lack of preparation but getting increasingly panicked by how quickly time is passing. Apologies for the late introduction!

Hi Lageo, I'm new too and due two days before you

Hi all

Really quick post as going out again in 10 mins for whooping cough jab. Saw mw this morning, all fine, measuring slightly over (31 weeks rather than 29) but she didn't seem remotely concerned.
Will catch up later, but just wanted to mark my place really.
Xxx

Afternoon ladies.

Feeling sorry for myself, i have 2 dead arms. Midwife stabbed me with my Whooping Cough jab and took bloods todays. I really hate needles!! 30 weeks on Sunday but i'm measuring 27, so i've got to go back in 2 weeks time for another check up. She measured over last time, so she might be due a little growth spurt soon.

Got a Growth Scan in February as well at 34 weeks. I think there taking alot of caution because it's my first and i have an under average BMI. I'm trying not to worry though! I will just stuff my face with food lol.

When it comes to childcare costs i'm actually really lucky, i'm hoping to go to college to do an Adult Course in September, when my little girl is 6 months, so for 3 days i'm at college i get Free Childcare. Then the other days i'll be with her and her dad.

Hope everyone has a nice day.

manda my niece had one of those clip-on high chairs- it was great. Her Mum covered the table in oilcloth to protect it, and she made as much mess as she liked, really easy to hose down after (and the seat could go in the wash). Very portable for visiting, and easy to stash to make room for friends round to tea after junior bedtime too. Heartbreakingly cute for a matching pair, too, I should think!

SoYo me too re the superstition about getting stuff in ahead of time. It is definitely easing off now- I feel OK about having the bits we've been given. But certainly not ready to make anything (I knit, and people keep asking me what I'm knitting for the baby. Ummm. Nothing.)

Tramp AuPairs are great for school-age kids (I grew up with them- and we somehow got a reputation for rescuing AuPairs in shitty jobs too- we seemed to have a sequence of spare ones camping out having escaped some pretty horrid set-ups...) but younger you should really be going for a nanny, unless you are present all the time too. Am I remembering rightly that your home and workplace are very connected? That could help- you will never be far away in an emergency (but a little baby is still a bit much to ask of an AuPair- as is more than 3-5 hours a day. They are meant to be able to go to classes in the mornings or similar.)

I am totally head-in-the sand re childcare. I am the chief breadwinner, and we are both freelance, so work is very unpredictable. And we're in London. We're just going to have to play it by ear, but I suspect that we will be largely reliant on DP as a Stay-at-home parent. His work is easier to scale down without dropping out of it completely, and his hourly rate pales into insignificance when compared to the cost of childcare. Although- I am bilingual, and I would love to have childcare in my non-english language, to that the baby has half a chance of learning it (My mother tongue is English, and I would find it too odd to speak to the baby in the other language all the time).

What an essay!

We have an au pair but I don't work and am around so its fine. She does 25 hours a week for £90p/w + 2 nights babysitting. We used to have a nanny for 10 hours a week which cost £100 and babysitting is easily £50 per night out around here so financially for us an au pair is much better. Ours is 27 and so older than most and has lots of childcare experience. Friends have 18 year olds who I am not sure would cope with three lively boys. Having someone living in is much better than I expected too. She has a large room with tv/DVD/Internet and her own bathroom and we honestly never see her when she isn't working.

Grotty - au pair is not an option. I don't think either of us wants someone else living with us and I really think that with younger babies a nanny is the way to go. Although if MrM isn't off on next job soon he'll be heading things up. As for me being nearby, that is the plan yes, but I am also cognisant that you don't pay someone to look after your baby and then spend the whole time interfering. Apart from being a pheonomenal waste of money it strikes me as being stressful and confusing for everyone involved and I prefer a life less stressful.

So anyone else watching the Queen Victoria and her children show? She was about as unmaternal as it gets. Although I fess her views on new borns (frog like) has amused me (I've always said frozen turkey) and her views on breast feeding have also amused me - I've been saying to MrM he'll need to start calling me Daisy once the breast pump comes out. :) seriously though Queen V not coming off well. Her poor kids.

Im not watching it, but I've heard so many people talking about it, is it on the beeb? I might be able to catch it on I player, what's it called?

I've got it marked on iplayer

Sigh. Bump behaving badly again - cant lie on my back as I feel like I'm suffocating. Can't lie on either side as bump takes exception and fiddles/kicks/fusses until I move. Pillows galore and still no solution. Currently lying propped up on five pillows but that puts uncomfortable pressure on my sore coccyx which I broke last year. Argh! Must learn to levitate.

Manda, glad all is well after yesterday.

Decorations coming down today, which always gives me a touch of the January blues. Spending my insomniac time counting days left of work before maternity leave - got so many antenatal appts that I'm basically working a four day week instead of five, which means I have a total of 21 working days left. Hurrah!

In other news, we simply cannot agree on a name. I just don't like anything much for a boy; dh keeps suggesting things that I think don't work with our surname. Have read the entire dictionary of penguin first names now and still not inspired.

sarah We can't agree on names either but for us the problem is girls names, not boys!

Grotty I am in a similar situation as you being bi-lingual but feeling odd talking to bump/baby in my other language. My DH really wants to me too though so going to try my best. My parents will both hopefully only speak to baby in the other language so being bi-lingual should come naturally.

Tramp I think its fine to pay someone to look after your child and then to interfere - its your child! I am having a nanny from 6 months but I work from home so the nanny will be there to step in only when I need to work/take calls etc. otherwise I will be breastfeeding on demand and spending as much time with LO as possible. I will effectively be paying for flexibility and convenience which I am happy with as LO will have the best of both worlds.

If anyone is interested in some breastfeeding literature I have been reading some great books - The Politics of Breastfeeding (Gabrielle Palmer) - an eye opening analysis of the substitute breastmilk industry and for a more lighthearted and practical read for some great advice for arrival of baby - The Food of Love (Kate Evans)