Jan 2013 Part 5: Once we pop (on time!), we just won't stop!

[BuntyCollocks]

New thread! I've lost my lovely spreadsheet so if someone can add in the stats and update, that would be wonderful; I'm sure someone else had a spreadsheet that was as anally organised as me

bernie it's not really a gift if you are thinking you're going to be thinking you have to look after her! I'm not sure why people think coming and staying in your home for a week after the baby is born would be a great idea - that's not just for your mum, for anyone! You need time to settle into your new family and then - only then - can people come and stay. Obviously a day visit is a different thing, to meet the baby.

You can look at the Spinning Babies website if you want to know more about positions www.spinningbabies.com/baby-positions

But babies can move right up til you go into labour and, obviously, during labour is the time when most of them turn.

bernie tell her you want a different gift! No in all seriousness, often the last thing people want straight after baby is born is people staying. Even having visitors for part of the day can be quite stressful. Could you tell her that you'd love to have her stay but not until you've all settled in as a family. If its awkward, can you say that DHs family have been asking to stay and to be fair to everyone you've said no one can stay for a month or two months or whatever.

If all else fails, shut your curtains, turn lights off and hide

complicated can I please go on the list? i'm 34, edd 28th jan, its a girl and im in islington

bernie, tell her no! this is not a time to be tactful! I've always assumed my mum would come and stay, but she hasn't mentioned anything, so maybe she doesnt want to intrude and I should specifically invite her. What are other first timers doing or what did you do? I imagine for a second baby you'd need grandparental help for the first child apart from anything else.

Katolla, I'm a first timer and my DP is going to take his two weeks off work (I did have to persuade him though! wtf), then my mum is going to stay for 1 week and then my sister for 1 week.
I get the impression that some people might think that sounds a bit too much, but we have excellent relationships with them and my pre-existing medical condition means that I will need a bit of extra support.

Oh Bernie just say no, really. This is not the time when your mum comes first, Bernie junior does.

My mum is 15000km away and I must say, it is nice not to have that pressure. She didn't meet DS until he was 1.5 years, when we were ready to travel, she refused to travel to us as my father is a controlling manipulative man really not well enough to be left alone. It hasn't been a problem for her connection to grandson #1, she is madly in love with him.

Time goes so quickly, I really think you should savour your first days/weeks together as a family.

dieciocho thanks for that, i had thought of her coming straight away but of course it's better if we wait till DP is back at work. Thanks MN for planning my life!

I am a firm advocate of if you can stand people being there, and they'll help, go for it. My parents came down last time, and will again (especially helpful with childcare this time for DS). DH will have 2 weeks off of work, probably split - 1 week off when baby arrives, his mum will then come down for a week (I love his parents) - then his second week off. My mum is then coming back down for at least a week at the beginning of February when he drops down to 3 days a week at nursery to give me a hand then.

Both my parents and his are fantastic help to us, and just lovely. I'm actually really looking forward to having them here - and it means DH and DS won't be surviving on crap whilst I'm in hospital.

hi Ladies,

God it sounds like we're all having an AWFUL time of it at the moment! I made it as far as Victoria station today and then i don't know what set me off, the stress of the commute, the thought of the week ahead but i just could not stop crying and certainly couldn't face going into work!!

Anyway, to cut a long story short, i'm back at home now although still checking in to work on email. I think it all just got a bit too much and totally freaked out - i could not stop crying on the train there and back which is super embarassing as i had no tissues and obviously other people don't want to look.

I honestly just feel as if i don't know how i'm going to get through the next 3 weeks, rather that i've just totally reached my limit, and yet there's so much to do. I agree with Mama Mary, you have to put yourself first and people don't thank you for being a martyr but still...

I've got NCT tonight but really don't feel in the right frame of mind to go to that either except for the fact that it cost so much, it feels wasteful to miss out on a class.....

Bernie what a nightmare situation! But I agree with the others, you have to be honest and tell her straight. You will never get the first week with a baby back so why ruin it? Of course Im sure its different for other people but if its a strained relationship dont put yourself through it.

My parents live 2.5 hours away and hubbys live 4 hours away. have said we dont want any of them stopping over night untill much later, so think my family will prob drive up for half a day when bubs is a couple of weeks old and hubbys parents will come overnight but stop at his brothers (who lives in same city) I really want the first few weeks to be about us and our little new family (also want time to try and master BFing as am concerned I wont be able to do it!!)

I am SOOOO ill at the moment....didnt get out of pjs all day yesterday and my eyes/nose are streaming, im all sweaty and gross and can hardly talk. Dragged myself into school today though as had loads of year 11 stuff to do....cue lots of 'kind' " Miss are you ok cus you look proper rough????" comments from the kids (dont you just love teenagers) Was supposed to go to our NHS class tonight, bit gutted really as although weve covered the stuff was hoping for a nosey around the wards but would be a bit weird turning up to a hospital ill :( maybe they will fit us in for another one.

My bump has changed a lot in the last few days (34weeks) I now get quite painful rolling movements to the right of my bump and can feel something hard bout the size of a golf ball????? any ideas????? Got my MW check tomorrow so maybe she will be able to tell me, would love to know how bubs is lay and whats what!

xxx

I spoke to my deputy head and they are going to try their best over the next couple of days to get supply in to cover my classes. If not all of them, then at least some which would mean i might be able to do half days or have some days off all together. Don't really know how it will work but I'm assured that they will sort something out to ease my workload. I'm not sure if I'll be told to start maternity leave early or not but I've now accepted that as a possibility and I'm not too bothered about it now.

Got myself into quite a state last night as I couldn't see how it would all work out as well as trying to move house this week but I'll just have to wait and see...

On the parents staying thing, my mum is coming up to see mini happy when it is first born for a quick visit then she'll be back up when hubby goes back to work (he's self employed so only taking a week off) and she'll probs stay for 7-10 days. We've said that for the first week, we're not having all and sundry turn up at the door so it is very immediate family only for a quick visit and then everyone else after that. I suspect a number of hubby's family will ignore it though so I'm going to have a sign on the door that says we're sleeping or something and to phone later at which point hubby will be told to answer and fob them off again!

Hi all

godz poor you. Everything can just seem so overwhelming at this point. Don't force yourself to go to nct if it will be too much.

birdies be honest with your mum if you'd rather she didn't stay. Personally I find all the visitors when bb arrives a bit much and need to know that all will be gone by the end of the day. It's great if you have that kind of relationship with your family but a new baby is overwhelming and I think it's nicer for the 3 of you to take time to settle into being a new family. We will need to have mil over or my mum up to take care of older dcs but once I'm home they will go home!

Ds2 was sent home from school today all pale with stomach ache. He's been sick twice and put himself to bed at 3! Freaking out a bit as bugs have spread through our house before and I know if I came down with it I'd be likely to end up back in hospital :( just hoping it's just him and wish I could make him better poor thing

Yes, it sounds like we're all a bit miserable!

godzokey and allchik I hope you feel better soon. I'm SO with you on the 'how do I get through the next 4 weeks?' front.

I have decided it's just the crappiest time of year to be in your third trimester. With DD, my 1st trimester was this time of year and it was actually fine. But now I'm just so run down and I feel like I'll never recover. I know logically that's not true and DH hinted last night that I need to keep a positive mindset (he did it in the gentlest way but it still irritated me a lot!)

happy I'm glad you've got some sort of plan sorted with your school. If it's still too much or they're not playing ball, just leave early. Mind you, I'm not good at taking my own advice feeling very rough and I know I will force myself to keep going to the bitter end if I can physically do it :( We are hoping to move house now once the baby is born.

Hello, been a few days

Mucho sympathies to everyone who feels crappy, whether ill or just fed up. I hope you all feel better soon.

My parents and PILs all live close by so no difficulties with wanting to stay, thank goodness. The last thing I wanted with DS for about the first 3-4 days was much in the way of visitors and helpers - in too much of a "my god what have we done? " haze - but once I had got back on my feet I was quite happy to have people round. Not to stay though.

allchik that golfball sized thing is either a head or a bum ! Where is it? If its by your bellybutton or higher and you're not a known breech then its probably bum. Can you feel one side of your tummy going down or diagonal as more firm than the other? Thats most likely the spine. So feel on the other side of your tummy coming sideways away from the golfball and you might be able to visualise some legs. Have a go at mapping your belly here for a laugh and see whether the MW agrees with you tomorrow

:( making an appt with the dr tomo to see if I can get a physio appt any time soon. I actually can barely walk. So undignified ATM.

Bunty that sounds horrible. Hope you get something soon.

Thank you, pascha

Hehe thanks pascha my hubby act noticed the diagonal thing yesterday...bony bum,doesnt take after me then!lol!x

oh no bunty. That sucks.

I don't know what system your local healthcare is under, but when I was in pain I called my midwife who arranged me a physio appt really fast at the hospital.

I've been struggling with a "cold" for the last month or so, and getting frustrated as it just won't clear up and go away. When I saw that a few others had colds too, it got me thinking that it might be a pregnancy thing... so I've done a bit of research, and asked an ENT doctor friend of mine. It looks like I've got something called "pregnancy rhinitis", which tends to occur in the last 6 (or so) weeks of pregnancy and lasts for up to two weeks after delivery. Unfortunately, apart from saline washings (and possibly an antihistamine) there's not much that can be done for it.

Bit unimpressed that I'll have a stuffy nose for a while yet, but I suppose it'll get DH used to sleeping next to someone who is snuffly and mouth breathing, ready for when the baby arrives!

Oh godzookey you poor thing. Hope you are feeling better now. I have had a few random meltdowns over the last few days too so you're not alone.

Allchick and bunty I hope you both feel better soon too and applecrumples that you don't catch the bug.

Well done happy on speaking to work and I'm sure it'll help with the move. I'm also trying to work out about visits. My mum lives abroad and I think I'd quite like her to come and stay for a week or so, though preferably not straight away. So I'm thinking perhaps mid Feb as then even if the baby is late it'll definitely be here and we'll have had some time to adjust. MIL has also offered and she is lovely but I'm not sure I'd be comfortable going with the flow with her there so think I'm going to suggest daytime visits only (she lives about an hour away). But then again what if I am going mad and really need the help?! It's all so hard to know.

So many posts since I last logged on. I fell over in my kitchen yesterday. Haven't got a clue how I did it, but one minute I was walking, the next I had slid across kitchen floor landing on my knee and elbow. I've got a nasty graze on my knee now! Was so relieved not to land on bump though. I ended up laying on floor in lounge praying for baby to move so I could be reassured I hadn't hurt little one. It didn't move for half an hour then gave a reassuring kick. Horrible.

Newbie Poor you. It's terrifying when baby doesn't move isn't it. I had that a few weeks ago and got myself in a right state. Really hope you and Allchik feel better soon.

Happy well done for asking to reduce your hours. I reduced my hours to a four day week a month before starting maternity leave. I was surviving (or not) on so little sleep due to restless legs syndrome and just didn't know how I could get through the week. DH made me speak to GP about it as I couldn't stop crying at home as was so exhausted. If still too much, ask if you can start maternity leave early. Really hard I know as we have all worked so hard to get to stage we are at in our careers, but for first time probably in your working life (certainly mine) put yourself and baby first. I had to ask my GP though as he didn't suggest even though I was a blubbering wreck when talking to him about not sleeping!

Godzookey poor you. I am an emotional wreck too and was a complete cow to DH yesterday and couldn't stop crying. I need to get a grip as poor DH doesn't know what mood I will be in as moods change like the wind.

Birdies loads of luck tomorrow. Ask loads and loads of questions so you can hopefully put your mind at rest. I watch the XFactor and haven't got a clue who is voting for Chris Maloney. However, I am not voting for anyone so suppose I shouldn't complain when my favourite act goes. I really liked Ella, but now hope James Arthur wins.

Updated list. Let me know if any further changes need to be made.

BuntyCollocks (29) DC2 EDD 28/12/12 (NE Wales) She's a girl!

Pmgkt (33) DC2 EDD 28/12/12 He's a boy!

Birdies (33) DC2 EDD 30/12/12 She's a girl!

Pascha (35) DC2 EDD 30/12/12 (Kent) It's a surprise!
PricklyPickle (31) DC1 EDD 31/12/12 (SE London - Eltham)

Complicated24 (44) DC1 EDD 31/12/12 (NW London) It's a surprise!

sanam2012 (?) DC2 EDD 1/1/2013 She's a girl!

LowLu (31) DC2 EDD 02/1/2013

TootieMaroo (32) DC2 03/1/2013

MarasmeAbsolu (31) DC2 EDD 03/01/13 (Scotland - Central Belt) She's a girl!

Lora1982 (30) DC1 EDD 04/01/13 He's a boy!

IsSpringSprangedYet (?) DC4 EDD 5/01/2013

DollFisher (28) DC1 EDD 5/01/13 She's a girl!

Allchik (30) DC1 EDD 06/01/13 It's a surprise!

Pockemuchka DC3 EDD 06/01/13 It's a surprise!

AriNi31 (?) DC2 EDD 06/01/13 

Happyhow (27) DC1 EDD 07/01/13 (Scotland - Aberdeen) It's a surprise!

EmilieFloge (38) DC? EDD 07/01/13

Newbie6 (36) DC1 EDD 08/01/13 (Scotland - Ayrshire) He's a boy!

Norfolkinway (25) DC1 EDD 09/01/13

Octanegirl (34) DC1 EDD 09/01/13 He's a boy!

BumgrapesofWrath (30) DC2 EDD 10/01/13

BernieBennett (28) EDD 10/01/13 He?s a boy
DoIgetastickerforthat (age) DC4 EDD 11/01/13

Kim222 (30) DC1 EDD 11/01/13

Lulabel27 (29) DC2&3 (twins) EDD 11/01/13

CraftyGirly (26) DC1 EDD 11/01/13 She's a girl!

Cejay8 (32) DC2 EDD 12/01/13 It's a surprise!

Tinyeyes123 (30) DC1 EDD 13/01/13 She's a girl!

CreepyCrawly (21) DC1 EDD 13/01/13 (West Wales) She's a girl!

PixelCarrier (?) DC? EDD 13/01/2013 It's a surprise!

Shakemyhead (37) DC1 EDD 14/1/13 (West Yorkshire - Wakefield) She's a girl!

Godzookey (35) DC1 EDD 14/01/13 He's a boy!

PeshwariNaan (33) DC1 EDD 14/01/13

Hormonalhell (40) DC2 EDD 15/01/13 He's a boy!

Theboutiquemummy (35) DC1 EDD 17/01/13 (Norfolk)

ChutesTooNarrow (33) DC2 EDD 18/01/13 She's a girl!

Glorious (28) DC1 EDD 18/01/13 (SE London - Hither Green)

Tugstonia (33) DC1 EDD 18/01/13 (SE London - Crystal Palace) It's a surprise!

SpringFlowers (39) DC4 EDD 18/01/13 It's a surprise!

Eagleray (40) DC1 EDD 18/01/13

13mma (29) DC1 18/01/13

djvesi (37) DC2 EDD 18/01/13 (Aussie in Helsinki) She's a girl!
LetThereBeCupcakes (30) DC1 EDD 20/01/13

Silversixpence (29) DC2 EDD 20/01/13

mulan07 (27) DC1 EDD 20/01/13 He's a boy!

BadgerFace (34) DC1 EDD 21/01/13 She's a girl!

bealos (35) DC2 EDD 22/01/13 She's a girl!

AppleCrumples (32) DC4 EDD 22/01/13

PreggoFabulous (30) DC1 EDD 22/01/2012 (South West) He's a boy!

Bunny222 (31) DC1 EDD 22/01/13 It's a surprise!

Woody2313 (33) DC1 EDD 23/01/2013 (West Midlands - Shropshire)

SigningGirl (age) DC1 EDD 24/01/13

SquealyB (29) DC1 EDD 26/01/13 (SW London - Richmond) It's a surprise!

knuckingfackered (39) DC2 26/1/13

Mrsbugsywugsy (34) DC1 EDD 25/01/2013 (Sussex) She's a girl!

Thinkingpositivethoughts (28) DC1 EDD 26/01/13

MrsMallard (35) DC1 EDD 26/01/13 (Hertfordshire) She's a girl!

Salt1 (38) DC1 EDD 27/01/13 She's a girl!

Lilblondepessimist (33) DC4 EDD 28/01/13

MamaMary (31) DC2 EDD 28/01/13 She's a girl!

Katolla (34) DC1 EDD 28/1/13 (Islington) She?s a girl!
Sebsmama (32) DC2 EDD 29/01/13

BionicEmu (26) DC2 EDD 29/01/13

Missymoo (32) DC2 EDD 30/01/13

DiscoDomina (31) DC1 EDD 30/1/13 (West Midlands)

Brugmansia (35) DC1 EDD 31/01/13 (SE London - Kennington/Elephant and Castle)

Mummypud (32) DC3 EDD 31/01/13

PipIsOutNow (?) DC2 31/01/13

Deiciocho (32) DC1 EDD 31/01/13 It's a surprise!

OK, for some reason, there is some weird script after baby's sex. I cut and paste from a word doc and think it has something to do with Bold formatting. Will sort out next time I update.

Well done on the list complicated!

happy well done for sorting things out with your work.
I am also starting to find work a slog. I am lucky to live a short walk from work and feel sorry for those with a commute. I've been working compressed hours so I can have days off for study but today told my boss I wanted to go back to normal hours and take my remaining study days as annual leave, as I am finding the long days too tiring.

Newbie did you have a scan today? How did it go? My baby was having a quiet day today and I was starting to worry, but I've just eaten a bowl of haagen dazs and she's going mad. She has good taste!

Complicated sorry to hear about your fall, that must have been scary. I have become so much more clumsy recently I am terrified that I will fall over. Especially as the cat has recently taken to sleeping on the floor on the route between my bedroom and the bathroom...I also seem to keep dropping things on the floor, so I have to struggle to bend down and pick them up

glorious I also can't decide whether to ask people to come and stay after the baby is born - I don't know whether I would find it annoying or helpful.

That's interesting re. our colds Pixel. My main symptom now is a sore throat that won't seem to go away, or rather it goes away one day then comes back the next.

Bunty thanks for the info on baby positions, hope you get to see a physio asap.