Oh DBB you wanted opinions, well. It's different for everyone I guess. In our case I am the breadwinner, so have no choice but to return to work full time. I leave home 6:40am (summer) 6:20am (winter) and get home approx 18:00 after a total commute of 80 miles of around 1hr 45 in car. I would kill to be able to stay at home, or be part-time! Unfortunately i earn 3 times my DPs salary, and our financial structure is based around that weighting or down to 2 times. My role is not one that lends itself to part time hours however, and as you have to make a business case to work to show how it could work, there is no advantage to them, nor would the level if service or function perform as petrie it would be poorer.
I don't feel like my job role defines me, my interests, family friends and experiences are more important I think, and so would be happy not being at a work place, but further down the line would be feeling strongly about wanting to contribute financially, and working my brain cells and interacting with adults on a more regular basis where the conversation does not revolve around nappy content or similar?!
The flip side depends perhaps on what you do, how hard it is to take a break and get back into your field/niche. Another consideration is whether you as a family unit feel content just managing and just getting by. From experience that can be very stressful for all, and do you have the ability to cope should a huge bill or two come out of the blue, and would you be denying yourselves things that may seem very real and needed when the time comes (holidays, Xmas pressies, wine, day trips out with family etc), but it depends on what your take on "managing" or "getting by" means for you.
How does your OH feel about it? Would he feel pressured? Is his job or industry fairly secure? What would the alternatives be like? Is your work open to part time returning, or could you take an unpaid career break post mat leave? (sorry can't remember if you were one if the ladies working a shorter contract type job).
How long would you think about not working for? I winder if we will all feel we will have lost our personal identities fir a time only being know as DC x's mummy anyway?! Do you have other children who would welcome mum being at home more?
All off the top of my head, as I eat breakfast, sorry, nit meant to be a rant or anything, its jyst exerythibg i think i would do myself to figure it out if i was in your shoes
I think there are other similar questions on MN threads with some fairly good advice.
At the end if your musings and deliberations, ask whether everyone in the family unit would benefit, and does the sum of those benefits (financial, emotional, ease of planning complex family life, domestic requirements, child care complexities, fuel/car/travel arrangements, social contact, stress) outweighs the alternatives.
Figure out exactly your outgoings, plus your contingency, determine if you can make it work on worse case scenario, and if worse case scenario were to happen, how would you tackle it?
Erm right, better do some work verbal diarrhoea!!!
Have good days all