We're now halfway and it's PMA all the way - Nov 2011

[cep]

Halfway there now ladies. on the countdown.

PamSco Swaddling. My eldest hated it, but both my younger two loved it. I would recommend thin stretchy blankets for it. I'm currently eyeing up some for the next baby as my last baby was the Queen of fighting out of a swaddle only to get upset she was swaddled anymore (there are kinds now with zippers or velcro or special ties - the things mums to be drool over!). For all babies, I would recommend sleeping bag type things for keeping comfortable without a blanket that will be often kicked off.

Baby Baths I agree with most that bathing in bath with baby ends in less frusteration than baby bath. I've only found them useful with my youngest, as a toddler, as she has severe eczema which involves a bath treatment which makes the bath unuseable til scrubbed so mini-bath was saner, but she was also bathing happily alone in the bath at that time.

Also haven't found changing tables to be useful, but having stashes of nappy changing equipment in different areas of the house and in bag has been priceless. At least in main living area and bedroom. Having easy access nappy changing equipment in the middle of the night makes newborn life much easier.

For after birth for mums, lots of well padded maternity pads, comfy stretchy clothes, and a wrap around pillow for easier feedings/cuddles as even after natural births the abdomen can be a sore for a while and arms get tired. My eldest lived on his pillow for the first couple of months it seemed, he thought it was a heavenly place for a nap, on his pillow cuddled against me, and I was happy to have an excuse to just sit and rest.

I'll come back later and post a fourth-timer's list of useful things. I find the lists given out in the guides of things you neeeed to have really amazingly overcomplicated (but I think I bought most of it the first time around anyways )

cep I used Mothercare babygrows. They have integrated scratch mitts up to 6months size. From website:

Toe safe, integral scratchmitts to 6 months, slip resist soles from 9 months

Poppet "Christ if a baby can't wear a babygrow who can?"

I was planning on getting myself a giant babygrow in matching colours to Bubba's just to make DP laugh when he gets home from work.

Ali on bf I'm not shy so I was planning on normal blouses with a belly band underneath or M&S vest with the straps cuy off worn as a boobtube. Then just unbutton blouse and slip it out when required. If anyone dares comlpain about me having my wabs out I'll moon them :)

All the sharing of advice is absolutely brilliant thanks all. I've got some ideas but I'm generally deluded and reading your posts really helps me.

The other things my sister used which I thought I'd get were a bouncy chair - can new borns use them? If not when do you start? All my siblings loved their chairs and my niece loved hers.

I still haven't bit the bullet and bought anything yet, except for my friends pram and VW vest etc.

Folic really hope you aren't in for long.

Second 20 week scan over: it's a girl! It took us by complete surprise, but DP is v happy. She'll be a daddy's girl for sure!
I'm now facing the "please don't buy pink stuff until she asks for it, and toys can be other things than dolls and puppies" conversation with my family. It would have been the same with a boy though, but I've found that boy's stuff is less offensive at newborn age.

Pam Didn't put DD into a bouncy chair until 4months but that was because she loved her baby gym so much that didn't need it. She used to fall asleep in the gym as well . When we got the bouncy chair she learnt how to bounce herself by moving her arms - so cute. Gutted when she outgrew it.

Someone gave us a baby beanbag which we used from Day 7 for her day naps downstairs (with radio/tv on so she learnt to sleep through noise!). Wouldn't have bought it myself but we used it alot and will be dragging it out for this baby too. I also thought it might help he realise day and night as she was only put in her moses basket at night.

Cali Congratulations! Another pink baby I absolutely hate pink newborn stuff. So even though I knew I was having a girl, I ended up buying boy newborn stuff because their babygrows were much more colourful and funky. I just stayed away from the cars and helicopter prints!

I didn't buy anything "baby pink" for DD for the same reasons but I couldn't stop my lovely Mum, she was too excited about been able to buy tiny girls clothes. My DD now loves pretty swishy dresses and loves them more when coated in paint and/or mud!! She loathes having her rather Rod Stewart like hair combed nicely and ruffles it up. A mix of very girly (wants my necklaces always) and a real tomboy which suits me fine!

Anything pink is now of course a problem, Bobblehat isn't going to have too many photos in the swing!

One close friend dressed her DD in pale cream/brown etc and brights. It has come in handy for newborn DS but her DD won't even wear trousers without a fight. Princess dresses all the way now. My poor friend is mortified!

I'd put my jungle brights on a girl too.

We did have a lot of pink for DD but mainly what we were given - I preferred stronger colours - she had a fair bit of aubergine and now only really likes to wear green.

Pam not at all shy about BF (have done it here, there, everywhere) but I looked like I was wearing a peephole bra gone wrong - your ideas sound good, I won't be bothering with anything 'specialist' this time around

hi everyone!

I've been away on hols for a blissful fortnight, and have then spent the last two nights reading through the last six or seven pages of the old thread and sixteen pages of this one (I'm totally anal and can't bear to just skip them, in case I miss something, it drives me mad!)

Before I went on hols, I had spent about two days sobbing because my SIL had announced she was pg too. As she is super competitive, I was so upset - not that she wants to have a baby, thats her business, but just because I knew everything would be a competition (our DDs are the same age, so we've been here before). Anyway, there is no competition this time, as she lost her baby at 14 weeks. And I feel terrible, because I was so unenthusiastic about her being pg in the first place, and now I feel like a first rate bitch, because I would never ever wish that on someone. And in fact, although she upsets me sometimes (ok, quite often!) I love her too, when we are getting on well we can have a lot of fun together. I haven't seen her in person yet, and I'm sure it will be difficult for her having to come face to face with my enormous belly.

On a happier note, a good friend told me today that she is pg too, due in January, and I'm so excited about that!

Snoozle Welcome back! Really sad about your SiL :(

Oh snoozle how awful for SIL and how awful for you - but you weren't to know. You came here to rant and what goes on MN stays on MN!

So, spent ages reading everyone's posts. Can't possibly name check all but wanted to add my bits & bobs for what they are worth.

For 1st timers, keep in mind that whilst it's great to have lots of info so you can choose what is right for you, every baby/parent is different and what works for one person won't work for another. Trust yourself to work it out in the end. The first few weeks are bittersweet as your baby is here but you have no clue what you are doing and (shh) may not even love it very much.
I remember looking at DD at 6 weeks and saying 'I don't want any harm to come to her but I don't love her'. By about 8/9 weeks I was totally in love and things started getting easier.

Anyhoo, so breastfeeding - it's one of the best things you can do for your baby but also remember formula is not poison. It is perfectly safe and fine for babies. Yes, the marketing techniques are awful in developing countries but, tbh, your baby comes first. 95% of all mums in the UK could breastfeed with the right support. Sadly the support is lacking for most of us and some will not continue past a few weeks through sheer lack of support resources.
if this is you, do not beat yourself up.
My milk never came in (I was one of the 5% who physically can't) and it broke my heart but I discovered baby led weaning which was a real healer (worry about that later though!).
I'm hoping this time to bf though as I'm not on bp tablets this pg, which caused my milk to not arrive.

We costed ready made cartons of SMA against powder and it worked out about £1 extra a week for ready made. So we never bought powder and bought large cartons of SMA milk. DD thrived and (touch wood) has only ever had colds/sore throats and nothing else in her 3 years.

Someone mentioned a pillow in the pram on their list - don't. Babies don't need pillows until they are at least 1. DD didn't have one till she was 18m and moved out of her cot into a bed.

Pram suits are fab in the cold weather IMO and we found one with poppers. Who cares if it's pink/purple. If this one is a boy, he'll be in it too.

I think all babies are different. Eg DD was hot, so inside the house she often only had a babygro on and I never put her in a hat indoors. Hospitals are very hot, so didn't have one for her there either. Going out it was layers, mittens and a hat. She wore socks until she was 16m old and walked outside for the first time - pram shoes are a con IMO.

We have a lovely organic swaddle robe that we'll use again from Jojo Maman Bebe. DD went in it till she went into her sleeping bag at about 10lbs.
DP and I slept with her cellular blanket and swaddle robe from about 36 weeks so they smelt of us when she was wrapped up.

Bathing - we used a newborn support in the bath or used a baby bath downstairs if we couldn't be arsed to come upstairs (DD stayed with us in her moses basket till we went to bed until she was about 4 months, so was just carried around everywhere with us). We did have a change table in her bedroom or changed her on the settee as I have back problems. I'm dreading going back to nappies as DD has been out of them since about 25months and I've forgotten how many they go through every day!

Phew - loooong post. Happy weekends! PMA i finish work 16 weeks on Thursday!

Evening all. Snoozle, sorry about your sister in laws loss, but you didnt cause it, you didnt invoke it in some way and you're not exactly saying "oh I'm so relieved" to her now. You have nothing to feel like a bitch about (well, you might have, you might have just today kicked a dog, told a young girl she was a minger and stolen an old ladies handbag, but nothing so far as you sister in law is concerned). I know it doesnt stop you feeling that way, but as long as you offer her what she needs from you now, which she can tell you, then there is nothing you have done wrong. except having normal human feelings, which is a terrible crime.
So, i am skiving. I am meant to be tidying the kitchen a bit but my head is a bit sore and I feel a bit sick and I am tired. I should go help my partner again now. What a friday night! Mind you, if you saw the state of our kitchen right now, it would look like exactly the best activity for a friday night.
Mrs, you make some true points. The midwife popped a hat on my son when he was born and that was the last time he wore a hat indoors until Christmas when I bought him a cute little elf outfit! And yes, we wasted a whole heap of powdered follow on milk before accepting we werent organised enough not to just stick to premade. SO much packaging though. And snow suits are ace. For playing in the snow. Which I try to force my son into everytime it snows, bless him. And he still doesnt have a pillow even though he is 20 months and can now say "peeyow". Oh I dont want to go tidy and clean.....

Right - here's my point on what a jungle it is out there.

The Swedish National Board of Health & Welfare recommends pillows for newborns:
"A soft pillow should be used when the baby is sleeping on its back to prevent the back of the head from flattening. Alternate the positioning of the baby?s head to the left and right. This way you prevent any pressure points from developing which causes the head to flatten or distort its shape.?

UK websites generally advise against them (I can't find a similar governmental recommendation source in the UK?)

How can two 1st world countries differ so in their recommendations?

Did you, f ex, know that midwives are illegal in many US states due to the legal implications?

Argh!

The irony being that america, for a first world country, actually has quite a poor record for birth related mortality I think. Hmm. i read that somewhere once. cannot at this time of night be bothered to go and check my facts, so no one quote me on that.
Its cause there isnt a right and wrong way. I mean, the back to sleep campaign had a huge imapact on SIDs, the evidence is really quite favourable for that being a right way to do it, and as I understand it, the flat head thing is cosmetic and doesnt cause any problems otherwise. Plus, once they are rolling and choose to sleep on their tummies (ha! All that work and the first night they learn how to roll will be the last night you try keeping them on their backs!) it does even back out. Or my son's did. But it wasnt hugely pronounced. But then, I also made sure he didnt spend too much time lying on his back when awake. Oh I like them so much better once they are ambulent. But then, on the other hand, and for reasons purely down to prejudice and nothing to do with knowledge, I kind of want to trust Swedish advice over english. Those scandinavian countries seem to take early years health and social wellbeing pretty darn seriously (again with the basing that statement on nearly nothing except the vague sense I have read stuff, at some point).
Eugh, partner now hoovering kitchen. Really need to go to bed but I am one ofthose people who just doesnt sleep if I am waiting for someone to come to bed. Should go up and read my book at least I guess. Somehow that makes me feel MORE guilty that he is doing all the work than sitting here rabbiting on to you guys. And DS seems really restless tonight, which is concerning. Perhaps he needs a pillow.

Tis indeed a jungle. More than 50% of all babies globally never wear nappies (outside 'western' style countries babies just pee/poo and mum recognises when they need to go).
tBH, I've seen little inserts for newborns to keep their heads round in UK brochures and they may be OK in the night but unless your baby sleeping overnight in their pram, don't put a pillow in the pram.
Here's the best one - DD slept on her tummy from about 12 weeks
It was the only way to relieve her colic, we considered the risks and we were low risk and she slept next to us till she was 7m. Once she went on her tummy, she pretty much slept 7-7, so it definitely worked for us.

But this one will go on its back without a pillow.

Oh and I thank god I am not giving birth in America. They are so risk-averse yet end up with stupid rates of intervention and mortality. There's a real push by some women for natural births over there but the medics are very powerful.

Right must go to sleep (way too late for me)

morning ladies, thank you for the birthday wishes. i had a nice quiet day, ordered some new glasses as my pressie from dh. Then went to chiquito's for dinner.

snoozle i'm so sorry for your sil and db. You really shouldn't feel guilty, you didn't cause anything. Unfortunately these things happen.

i've been watching one born every minute usa on thursday nights and i find it strange that they all seem to be straight on their back and monitored, i haven't seen any in a birth pool, and i've only seen one (who was really weird) who seemed to move around and not have the monitor on.

thankyou for the tips on integral mitts will have a look. The sleeping bags we had a couple for when he was 6-12 months and they were great, plan on having a look to see i if can find any nice little ones.

The recommendation is straight out of the Swedish leaflet on cot death prevention.

I think I'll just go with my instincts though - we have, after all, been doing this for 35k years and somehow managed to multiply as a species.

My friend used nappies for a total of 6 weeks. She started potty training her ds from birth, recognising signs of "needing to go" etc.
Very brave. Couldn't do it myself!

Cali think you are right - just go with what seems right to you. Your instincts as a mum will normally be right.

I've heard about parents who train their babies out of nappies at a few weeks old. It must take a huge amount of time though and isn't really compatable (IMO) with our lifestyles eg working mums - how would a nursery do it for a 6m old?! I get how someone living in a remote African village who had their babies with them all the time.

Sling users - Moby or Close. Any thoughts?

i've just been looking at grobags again i couldn't remember if you could use them from newborn or not, and it says on there as a reccommendation that it would "They may delay the age at which your baby rolls over onto his tummy
? They may delay the age at which your baby is able to climb out of his cot." how are they good things? ds never climbed out of his cot anyway nothing near by for him to stand on or pull himself up on. But i thought once they could roll it was safer anyway, or am i getting confused??

Why does it all feel new again???

mrsa sorry meant to say don't know about the wraps i've just bought a ring sling for the first time and need a baby to try in it and don't know how i'll get on with it yet.

Gro website says 8lb 8oz

but I am certain I have some with a smaller starting weight as it wasn't very long before my little babies were in them

mrsa I've recently brought the close baby sling- it is really simple to use (even DS has put it on with his teddys); it fits DS (6) me & DP with ease & simple adjustment!! Tried it with my 10month nephew & found it really comfortable - much more so than the ring sling my sis has & I used when he was 6months & more comfortable than the TOMY carrier I had with DS. Can't compare it to the moby but I think it worth the price :)

Can't remember who said about pacapod ??moosey went to john lewis yesterday to have a look & brought it there & then- it is amazing, really happy :)

bump which one did you get? just having a look online at them, although there's no way will persuade dh to let me get it.

moosey which one was that description from? can't see it only on the sleepsuits 0-3 months.

cep we wnt for the napier in mocha (would have got tutti-fruity but DP said not to pink!!!). On the pacapod site we were really keen on the portland but john lewis don't stock that one & as we couldn't see it to compare I decided it wasn't worth the extra money :)