Jue in June 2011....... labour here we come!!!!!

[Jer79]

New thread. Should last us a week.

sasa if it's any tiny bit of consolation at all after that completely useless ! meeting with a physio I am almost unable to lie on my left side - at least for long periods at a time - and frequently wake up on my back, on my right, half on my belly and so on. I figure I'm standing up half the day, sitting down and walking around for other bits of it, and none of this seems to affect the baby, so I'm pretty sure which side I lie on doesn't make any difference really either! I can see the reason that it is optimal to lie on the left but really it can't be crucial, especially if you have good reasons to avoid putting pressure on that hip!

No ideas on the greenish blob I'm afraid! I'm sure it's just one of those lovely pregnancy things though :)

Thanks ttl that does make me feel better :)

sasa - my mw calls that elephant snot. Nice!

nmh I wish you every success with the 'feed every three hours' routine. Just remember that what the baby is trying to tell you is more important than what the book tells you. If s/he is hungry after 2 or 2.5 hours, you are going to have to feed them. Alternatively, endure the screaming for as long as they can manage and then they'll fall asleep and you'll have to wake them for their feed - and believe me the last thing you'll want to do is wake a sleeping baby. I do think that 'feeding on demand' can go wrong very easily too. Babies don't cry only when they are hungry and they aren't usually hungry every hour and it is easy to slip into a routine of giving them boob every time they make a peep. And then they are not getting a decent meal and cry more - horrid! With DS I watched him really closely for a few weeks and worked out that his hungry cry was more like coughing and when he was tired he went all jerky. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that it's great to have a plan, but don't stress too much if your baby doesn't get it. And if they sleep for any length of time during the night, you are very blessed. I have parented 3 DCs through babyhood - DD1 slept through at 4 weeks (10pm to 7am), DS at about 1 year when I started feeding him bananas and cream at bedtime, and my wilful, gorgeous DD2 still gets up in the night at least once a week for some milk and she is nearly 4!

Good news here, mw is very pleased with my weight gain, uterus is less responsive to being touched and baby rabbit no longer has its head engaged - much more normal for a fourth baby.

GV so happy you made it to 37 weeks. Sending 'you can come out now baby' vibes to you :)

Welcome back GoodVibrations! Glad you've made it to term. My DS is 2.9, so a little older than your DD. He spent another morning refusing to get in the car and go to the childminder's this morning . Luckily DP was going into work late, so he was about to carry him into the car, as I really struggle with my SPD to cart him around; he's a tall boy for his age...

On the subject of SPD / PGP, sorry to hear a couple of you are really suffering. I am too - it is getting so much worse, and leaves me constantly on the edge of tears, mostly with frustration that I can't do everything I need to. Sasamaxx I had the same sort of useless experience with physios in my last pregnancy, and this time, although it has eaten up chunk of my savings, I have been seeing a chiropractor who specialises in pregnancy-related back problems, and she has [is there a hyperbolic pregnant woman emoticon available?] saved my life and kept me mobile. As well as keeping things as aligned as possible I also get a lot of relief from the treatments as well.

DP slept on the sofa last night as my snoring was so bad , he said he could still hear it downstairs though , and then he got woken up this morning by me sobbing in the kitchen cos he hadn't washed up last night's dishes or cleaned the work surfaces. I think I am becoming difficult to live with.....

motherofsnortpigs at 'giving them boob every time they make a peep'. Don't know why that tickled me but it did

No worries sasa, I hope you are feeling better today. Any chance of getting referred to an obstetric physio?

ttl although having the baby on a commute can feel like an awful thing to do, there are also plus points to it - you can chat away to the baby for an extra couple of hours a day, and introduce her to lots of music (don't feel pressured into playing nursery rhymes all the time - DD's recent favourites have included Fleetwood Mac, Florence + the Machine and the Beatles. She even demands asks for her favourite songs by title, so I consider this commute time a valuable part of her education). You might need to invest in some travel toys, and one of our best ever purchases was a car lap-top table with pockets at the side, which straps around her car seat. She sits there drawing pictures or (on the less organised mornings) eats her breakfast during that time. If you can de-activate the front passenger airbag, it can be worth doing to have the rear-facing seat up front if you'll be doing the commute before baby moves up to the next stage car seat.

But another factor to consider, and the reason we're looking at a different nursery, is the accessibility by both parents - at present DD's nursery is next to my office, while DP works an hour in the opposite direction from home, so it's 2 hours for him to pick DD up from nursery if there's an emergency while he's at work. This has basically meant that, for the last 3 years, I'm the only parent who can do pick ups and drop offs, which has been a real pain sometimes if I was out of the office for whatever reason but DD still needed to be in nursery. Also, DP has struggled to make it in time for the Xmas shows and parents evenings. That's the main reason we're considering changing.

And curiouselle in the south of England but outside of London it's in the region of £40 a day.

Also want to second what mother said about baby books - don't let them dictate to you if it goes against what your instincts are saying. The books are great as a point of reference if there's a particular issue that you're trying to find ways to tackle, especially if you refer to a couple of different books and give yourself time to find a method that works for you. But if you start by following them like a religious doctrine, that way nervous breakdown doth lie!

Oh and as for giving them the boob all the time, I slipped into that pattern, but DD wasn't hungry, but was just accepting the suckling to soothe her, so inevitably the dummy then became a real addiction for her, when I had to try to break out of the cycle of hourly feeds. With the wonder of hindsight, I wish I'd let her whinge and moan for a bit longer between each feed and worked harder to distract her with other things, to make her less dependent on the suckling action. Oh well, we live and learn!

Thanks lisascat that's such helpful advice. I hadn't really thought about times when DD will need to go to nursery when I'm not necessarily at work - what sort of things do you mean, if you don't mind me asking? And I hadn't thought about parents' evenings, etc, either ... at the moment we don't have a choice about it, I don't think (short of leaving her near our home but, since we both work in opposite directions quite far from home, and DH won't have the car when I'm working, and she'll only be 6 months when we start)

Definitely going to disable that airbag at the front - we had the seat fitted the other day and I hadn't realised (being thick!) that the seat faces the back of the car, so if she was in the back I wouldn't be able to see her and she'd spend the journey staring at the back of the seat all alone. Trip to Nissan garage in order, I think - thanks for reminding me!

curiouselle yep, it's £47 a day at the campus nursery (in Norwich). But I get a salary sacrifice which means I can pay the entire £6k annual fee (for 3 days a week, 45 weeks of the year - which we won't use, since DH is a school teacher) before I pay tax. That actually saves us something like £2800 in tax, so we'll basically pay half of that £47 a day.

The other nursery we looked at was only £32 a day, but I hated it. But that was nothing to do with the price - it was a smaller nursery which presumably had cheaper premises, etc, - so you can find them at that price I think.

First antenatal class tonight!

Mother glad you are doing better.
Goodvibrations v jealous that you are now at term...come on then baby you can come out now.
TTL If your garage say that you cant get your airbag disabled or otherwise tell you your baby seat is unsuitable..get a second opinion. My bloomin garage told me my car was too old to have Isofix fittings, the front airbag could probably be disabled and that the car seat I bought was unsafe when used with the type of seat belts I have. I took the car to my local baby shop - they found the isofix fittings straight away, showed me how the seat belt can be used (diff way to how garage did it) but confirmed from their records that airbag couldnt be disabled without the drivers airbag being disabled too. I have alot more faith in the baby place.

I got my antibiotics this monring and then had my MW apt...the scheduled one, not another neurotic one. Seems bump is still breech but shes not sure so have to wait for scan in 2 wks. My instincts say he is and that he'll arrive by CS...not sure why but just have a strong feeling that the active birth class I have booked will be a bit of a waste. Had a good chat about my birth plan too which starts with 'ensure DH stays up head end and do not involve in medical side!'...she has met him and agreed lol

I havent even begun to think about nursery but i suppose with my job only being casual i will need to find a full time job before i start to worry about baby going to a nursery!

Im thinking of getting one of those bf pillows, they sell the V shape pillow at Dunelm Mill so i think ill get one from there when my maternity allowance comes through!

The car seat that we have for my car is a small seat but is still too big for the car and the only seat it will fit in is the front passenger seat which doesnt have an airbag anyways so thats good! only problem is that the seatbelt doesnt fit around the car seat so i need to work something out there!

Does anyone else get pains in their knees at night? I know a lot of people get pains in their hips but when im sleeping im getting woken up by an almighty pain in my knee which forces me to turn over. then an hour later it will happen in the other knee so ill wake up and turn over again! I sleep with a pillow between my knees to see if that will help but so far nothing! I need my sleep!

Nomoreheels it really is good to be organised , but I'm afraid I have to agree with MOSP and lisascat that babies haven't read the book and rarely behave the way we expect them to. I would seek advice from LLL or Kellymom before deciding on a feeding schedule, to be on the safe side though. I'm not sure that they really work with bfing and were really put in place for bottle-feeding so that you don't over-feed them. It's impossible to over-feed a bf baby, and i'd worry that they didn't take enough at one feed and then fancied another one much earlier than they were 'due'. Or sometimes, they just want a drink of the foremilk because they are thirsty, and not actually hungry - so every 'feed' isn't necessarily a meal, and obviously breastmilk comes in both drink and meal form. Sorry for rambling - don't want to dictate to you obviously, or undermine your decisions, but also don't want you to be desperately frustrated and emotional with a baby that may well not fit into the schedule

Did your midwife say what the 'elephant snot' (grin) was MOSP??

Yep supersunnyday I shuffle from one side to the other all night - I can't possibly sleep on the same side all the time.
I could get referred to obstetric physio TTL but no idea how long I'd have to wait for apt, it's 10 miles away, would need to arrange childcare again and it would probably be just as useless . We are doomed to suffer as pregnant ladies it seems.

Love the sound of your chiroprator 8rubberduckies but alas I have no spare money whatsoever as I have spent it all on slings

On the subject of slings, did anyone see the GORGEOUS picture of Holly Willoughby with her baby in an expertly-wrapped stretchy sling? See here
The baby's face is NOT under the fabric btw - it's just the angle of the camera

Hello all and thanks very much for the perspective on Gina Ford/breastfeeding. This is my first and I have absolutely no idea how it will go, but am very willing to be flexible and take from it what works, or mix and match methods. I really enjoyed reading her book, it just seemed so practical and sounded good to me so I wanted to give it a go. I agree totally that there is no point in being dogmatic about anything in case it goes wrong and leads to meltdowns though.

My comment re: midwives was more related to the fact that some of them can be quite bossy - and at my hospital, lovely as it is, there are masses of print outs everywhere in the consulting rooms that make it clear that baby-led BF is the ONLY way to go and that it's hospital policy.

What I wanted to avoid was feeds that take 3-4 hours and lead to sore, cracked nipples & exhaustion because I know that I will not be able to cope with that kind of physical pain (just being honest) but I do want to try and breastfeed as well - so it's about trying to find a balance. I also really like the idea of expressing enough for a 10:30 PM bottle so I can try to sleep and DP can be responsible for a feed. Otherwise it feels like it's all down to me and I can see that getting me down. I'm sure it would be great for him as well in terms of bonding.

We also plan to spend a lot of time with her in her nursery in the day for nursing, changing, playing (well as much as bubs can "play" of course!) and naps so she feels comfortable there. My friends did this and have a wonderfully adjusted 2 year old who has no issues about going to bed and loves his room. We have said that we do not want to co-sleep at night beyond the first 6 months with a moses basket/crib. (I realise that there are many different opinions about this, but it's what we're hoping to achieve.)

However, I'm not going for the full blackout option as per what GF insists on - like some people's posts I've read, it feels like this would be too hard to re-create elsewhere.

But having read Mumsnet for a while now, I am under no illusions that every baby is different and we'll just have to see what we end up with. I was an angelic baby as was DP so fingers crossed!

curious nightmare about the pram. I'm sure the replacement will be fine. On nurseries, ours costs £39/ day which is pretty standard where we live (North West). Its a lovely nursery. They have a veg patch so the children grow their own veg & eat it for lunch.

sasa your experience of physio sounds just like mine. It's not too late though. I had acupuncture at 32 weeks (and a few more sessions since) and it was amazing. It is endorsed on the NHS for SPD, back & leg pain (including during pregnancy) but it is virtually impossible to get as not many physios specialise in acupuncture for pregnant women (its worth speaking to your GP though just in case they can get you a rapid referal). I had to pay privately and put it off for ages due to the cost, but it was well worth it. I am by no means cured and still need crutches outside the house but the improvement was huge. Plus strangely having needles stuck in you is very relaxing!!. I saw an NHS physio that has set up a part-time private clinic and she was the first person that didn't make out that SPD is just another pregnancy 'niggle'. I saw a big difference from 1 treatment but had more treatments because I really liked it! I am a complete convert now. I still resent having to pay so much though

On the green mucous, not sure about that one! I wouldn't be worried except for the colour. I think you should ask your midwife.

mother great advice on feeding. Although I must admit that in those early weeks if the baby makes a peep it is getting a boob!!

8RD sorry to hear you are suffering with SPD aswell, though glad you are finding the chiropractor helps. Its crazy that we have to pay privately for treatment when SPD is so disabling, especially with a toddler to care for!. DH hasn't been able to work for the past 11 weeks as he is looking after DD (I can't even bend down to change nappies/ lift her into the car seat etc). I'm so lucky that we had that option (DH is self employed) but we have used so much of our savings, not sure how we get through the next year. But somehow these things seem to fall into place (fingers crossed!)

Well I have the overwhelming need to clean today. Does nesting really exist?. I feel like I'm possessed!!! but unfortunately I can't move much so I cleaned the kitchen then spent the next hour hung over my gym ball to recover!

I can't believe we are all nearly there!!!!! The hospital have offered to induce me at 39 weeks due to SPD (only 11 days away!). It's tempting but I have made it this far so I think I will wait until baby is ready to come out (unless I go overdue.......). Also I had a really fast (and terrifying!) labour last time so am worried that being induced would make things even faster.

nomoreheels flexibility is definately the key! I was so stressed with DD, so very much hoping I will be more chilled out this time. I thought I would be a strict routine/ no nonsense/ breastfeed to 6 months max type. However I turned out to be a feeding on demand/ baby led hippy-type who breastfed until 22 months (and only stopped because DD self weaned).

Nomoreheels I would imagine that as long as you're open to being flexible and adjusting any advice to what feels right for you and works for your baby then you'll be fine. I'm trying to say "OK I'll give this a go but if it's not working that's OK too" so hopefully I won't feel like I've "failed" if things don't work out as I think they will.

Goodvibrations Eeek full term! Lucky you!

Sorry to everyone who's got pelvic pain :( especially having to look after older children as well. Can't imagine how you're managing. At least there's not too long to go now.

Glad you've got some antibiotics Jasmine, hopefully they'll clear the problem up nice and quick. Don't forget the natural yoghurt to re-establish your "friendly bacteria" and up your immune system :)

Physio app sounds like a waste of time sasa, how annoying At least you've got some crutches though, hopefully they will help.

TTL what a horrible woman! How dare she judge you for when you go back to work? Lots of women can't afford to stay off for 6 months, and others may choose to go back before that time, nobody should judge them for that. Especially not somebody who you're thinking about paying to look after your child! Go with your instincts on this and don't let yourself be bullied by awful people like that!

Curious how annoying about the pram! I certainly hope you get a full refund. RE nursery costs I think full day is arount £30-40 and a full week is around £200

GAH I have done something really really bloody stupid today. I thought my car theory test was this morning at 10 am, have been practising for ages, all last night and this morning, got up early to make sure I was there well in advance etc only to be told I should have had it on tuesday, not today Feel SO stupid, have wasted the fee and will have to rebook and pay again. Am just kicking myself :(

Oh nurse so sorry about the test confusion - can you re-sit soon? We had to sit ours recently to convert our licenses to Singaporean ones and DH turned up at the wrong test centre so kind of know how you feel.

Some very good advice for nomoreheels. Basically if you're feeding for that long and in that much pain then something is wrong anyway. I learnt this the hard way and plan to be much more relaxed about things this time.

GV your SPD sounds a lot worse than mine... I am with you on the money thing, it makes me so angry that I have to pay out so much for treatment to keep me mobile; manybe if it was viewed as the potentially debilitating condition it is rather than a "niggle" there would be better help available on the NHS. Most of the money I saved (which I will admit, was bloody difficult as I am crap at saving) when trying for this baby to help when I was on maternity leave has gone on chiropractor fees .

I am with you on being worried about induction as well, as I have mentioned on here before, I went from 0-10cm in less than an hour when induced with ds. Think I am going to wait around and see what happens til the last minute this time if I am late, bad SPD or not! I may be having CS though if baby doesn't shift her ass upwards soon!

I too believe fully in the nesting instinct - I live in quite a ramshackle yet adorable and characterful old victorian terrace, with some very interesting decor leftover from the previous tenants, and feel like sobbing and wailing skywards at the moment whenever I see a tatty bit of wallpaper, or a grubby corner, when it never used to overly bother me. I keep dreaming of stainless steel kitchens, clean white lines, dishwashers and lots of linen everywhere, and was even found scrubbing around my bathroom taps with an old toothbrush the other day, when 8 months ago I would probably have been found on the sofa with a glass of wine. I am also finding that my energy levels are definitely not surpassing my urge to scrub and sort.

I have been reading the comments regarding following routines for babies with interest this morning. I followed baby-led-breastfeeding with ds, and he was happy and chilled and fell into his own routine of feeding every 3-4 hours and then having little "drinks" inbetween quite quickly and easily, and started sleeping through (12am-6am) after about 5-6 weeks. I don't know if we were just lucky and had a particularly easy baby, but I'll try the same again.

I know that when we had any problems with ds as a newborn we looked at a couple of books / internet sites for ideas of how to overcome them, but I too believe following books to the letter is the path where madness lies . It definitely worked for us to have a baby who could fit in with what we were doing, rather than being used to a rigid routine, and meant we could visit friends and family, go away for the night or weekend, or go out for food and not worry too much about whether he would cope with the break in routine and different environment. Saying that though, we did have to introduce controlled crying when he was a bit older (around 9mo) for a while and he started taking ages to settle at night. My advice would be to go with the flow, and that each baby is different, and to seek a number of second opinions from different sources if you come up against any problems, and to be flexible. Also, not to beat yourself up if you do something you percieve as "wrong", but just try something else instead!

NMH I believe that extremely painful 3-4 hour long feeds are very much the exception rather than the norm, so try not to worry too much. I know it is a reality for some women that b-feeding is too difficult for them for a variety of reasons, but it is (relatively) pain and hassle free for some women as well. There has been some great advice about b-feeding from some much more experienced and more eloquent Mums on here than I am, so I will not try to add to it all and ruin it!

Right, I forgot I'm meant to be in work! Guess who's finishing tomorrow?

ttl a perfect example of what I was describing would be training days I've attended where my ideal mode of transport would have been train (I live near a station and the training venue is also near a station, and I could spend the hour or two reading a book rather than trying to follow my sat nav). However, because DD has to go into nursery and I'm the only one who can take her, I still have to do the hour's drive in to nursery, drop her off, and by then I simply can't make it in time by train, so end up driving. Also, for MW appointments, she has to come with me, because the MW is near home, so it's not practical to drive to nursery, back home to MW, then back in to work for the rest of the day. She's been fine, but it has meant that little flapping ears have affected some of what I might discuss with the MW. As we've not told DD who it was that recently died (she never met my dad, so I didn't want to tell her a grandad who meant nothing to her was dead - we just said mummy was sad because a friend from work died), my appointment next week might be awkward, as I try to communicate to MW possible reasons for recent stress without DD understanding. So again, it's one of those times when it would have been beneficial if DP could have dropped her off on his way to work.

nurse I don't know if this will make you feel better but DP did exactly the same thing, but with his speed awareness course - was convinced it was at 1pm, arrived in plenty of time to find he'd missed it as it was at 11am. Sadly this then meant a trip to the magistrates, so at least your consequences aren't so bad, and you don't have a girlfriend (me) who then mocks you for being a muppet for a good few months!

Merlion and Lisa such a pain isn't it Have rebooked for next thursday so it's not the end of the world but I resent having to pay the fee again and I also have a lot of anxiety around things like being late and missing appointments so I tend to get overly upset about things like this. But, in the grand scheme of things this isn't that bad I suppose., Will have to get 100% now though or I will never live it down!

Hi sorry to but in am due June also and am 31+3 and had a clear show yesterday not green like sasa but was confirmed by midwife as yes a bit of show (if you can even have a bit) she said not to worry as my previous babies were late and was just one of those things but can't help but be worried and obsessing over it has anyone else had anything similar?

Nurse my bf is booked in for his theory test next week and I am now panicking on his behalf that he'll miss it! Its just the sort of thing I would do! Are you plannign on taking your practical before or after the baby is due? Well done by the way for taking on something so stressful when pg

Sorry X-posted with you dyerlou, welcome! I didn't have a show with first pg, so I cannot answer your question sorry, but sure someone will be along soon who can!

Lisa a fair bit of mocking of my DH went on too .

Welcome and congraulations Dyerlou :)

8RD JUST READ THE LETTER! AND THEN READ IT AGAIN! And then get someone else to read it as I read mine about a zillion time but my brain obviously skipped over the date and saw what it wanted to see. Grrr!
I am waiting for my practical test to come through, would definately be better if I could do it before baby as I don't see how I could really. Might go into labour during the test lol. Wonder if I'd automatically pass if I did?

34 weeks today WOOOO!!!