April 2011 - we'll shop til we pop!

[GoldFrakkincenseAndMyrrh]

Continuation from our old thread here

So maybe this thread we'll see some babies?! And definitely lots more shopping

Hello girls! Sorry to change the subject (and am avidly reading the pump advice, meaning to bf if I can but keen to be able to express too) but needed to wibble! I have a lovely boss, and he is wanting to involve me in the interview process for my maternity cover replacement, and I have just read through the CVs - I don't know whether to be flattered that such good people want my job or terrified that when I come back everyone will have realised how underqualified and bad I am!!! I know this is probably the hormones talking, and boss has reassured me several times about my irreplaceability but....aargh!! Anyone else feeling like this?!

Hey all!

Daisy I'm not at all involved in choosing my replacement, but I do have a constant fear of being 'found out' about my ineptitude!

We had ofsted in just before october half term (I was about 16/17 weeks I think) and had a massive panic about it then! Then I was observed and had really good feedback, which helped my confidence enormously! Still, the worry is always there!

Wading into the breast pump talk - I've got no idea about anything (first preg!) but we bought the tommee tippee electric pump because it was half price before new years! Nice to hear a good review of the bottles though.

We're planning to breast feed, but DH really wants to be involved as much as possible. Also, since he's got PKU we might have a PKU baby which would mean special formula. So we thought we'd invest in bottles/steriliser/pump when we saw them on offer.

My mum said she used to express extra milk for the premmie babies when I was tiny. I remember seeing an article (local I think) about milk couriers. Do they still do that? If our baby is PKU, I'd love to be able to express for other babies (or at least at this point in time I love the idea of it).

Got barged into at work today. Not worried at all about LO, he's active as ever (despite listening to me ranting all day!). But will be chasing the risk assessment tomorrow! (almost seems not worth it at 30+4!)

I'll try and answer some of the bfing questions, but I will warn you it is something I am very passionate about!

Firstly, mostly of what I write will be from my experiences, however it will always be different for others.

Expressing - there are no rules about when you should start xp. However, it is recommended that you wait until your milk supply starts to level itself out (often about 6 weeks)

There is the concern that your lo can suffer from nipple confusion if you introduce a bottle/dummy. The mouth action of bf'ing and bottle feeding is very different for the baby so they can get confused between the two, which can then mean their latch can go pear shaped - not good.

Manual pumps vs electric pumps - well, I'm sure the majority of research would say that electric pumps are more affective. However some people have no problems with a manual pump, and at the end of the day it depends on how much you want to spend.

You can hire pumps from some local branches of the NCT (you don't have to be a member to hire it), they tend to be double hospital grade ones.

I'm going to put my neck on the line and say that if the only reason you want to xp is so your dp can bond with your lo then I wouldn't bother. There are other ways to bond - cuddles, sling, bathtime.

The reason I have expressed in the past is so dh can give the lo a dreamfeed while I go to bed early and try and get a stretch of a few hours sleep before the night feeds start

I think the biggest tips I could give about bf'ing is read up on it and do your research. We spend hours and hours musing over the birth, but actually the birth is a really really short part of it all. One of the most time consuming parts of being a mum is bf'ing, so it makes sense that you find out as much about it as possible.

Some people attach the baby to the breast straight away and they don't look back, however others have different hurdles to overcome to keep bf'ing (thrush, mastitis, slow weight gain etc), however those hurdles can often easily be jumped and cleared if you have access to the right help (BFN, NCT, La Leche).

Petalouda - I know nothing about PKU, but if it happens that your lo has it, before you stop bf'ing please speak to the BFN about what their recommendations are. It is truly shocking how little bf'ing knowledge Health Care Professionals have. I'd hate for you to be in the situation where you stop bf'ing then find out that you couls have carried on after all.

I think I'll shut up now as I'm even boring myself!!

I can try and add some advice on bfing too, but same as ILTMIMI I'd say that no two women's experience is the same.

I'd advise going to any breastfeeding information sessions you can find before the birth - my hospital offered them, ask your GP if your hospital don't do them. The class really helped me feel like at least in theory I knew what I should be doing. Also gave me loads of info to take home.

I'd also say I thik some babies do take to bfing easier than others. If you end up having trouble ask for help sooner rather than later. Either while you're still at the hospital if it's questions of latch, or there are phonelines and organisations that can help, as well as private breastfeeding counsellors who will come to your home. Don't feel you should know what to do instinctively or try and battle on in the hope that it'll come, ask for help.

Use a support cushion of some sort to help with positioning - I couldn't have fed without one in the early days. Also try all the different positions if you're having trouble to see if there's one that's easier for you than others.

I waited until the recommended 6wks before trying to express and feed DS EBM as bfing was going really well and I didn't want to mess it up. The first bottle (TT Closer to Nature) he took the lot and I thought 'that's that sorted' and then by the next time, about 2 weeks later, I tried he wouldn't take it. I tried everything under the sun but he was wise it wasn't the booby and was having none of it. I gave up after a few weeks of trying and stuck with bfing. I would say though that this time I wouldn't leave it so long between bottles.

Am sure there are other things that'll come to me later, but that's enough booby talk for now!

Daisy , Petal I keep having exactly the same thoughts about my maternity cover. Because I work for a university it's advertised on website/email which nearly everyone at work subscribes to, so I spent all day yesterday with people pointing it out as being advertised. Made me that they may get someone better and that I won't be at work for 7 months at the same time!

All this breast feeding and xp info is brilliant, you've answered questions I didn't know I had.

I can't get comfy to sleep either, and when I do Little Insect decides it's time to boogie. I think DH was a bit jealous that I can feel baby and he can't, until he woke up after Little Insect was kicking with enough force for him to feel it too while we were cuddled up! Was very sweet to see the / / / pass across his face though!

I watched OBEM on 4od...Lydia's water birth is just what I want mine to be like. Here's hoping anyway (though I know I have never and will never look that good in a bikini!)

I'm not even having a full-time replacement. I'm having to split my job up into bits so that other people (not even in my department) can do them and they'll only have a 'me' two days a week.

Aw, nice to know it's not just me on the job thing! Just so weird to hand over one's patch - I teach, too, maybe it's particuarly about that? Who knows!

Re OBEM, I would like to order a mixture between Lydia's waterbirth and the other lady's birth (lovely Welsh accent, can't remember her name, thought she was loud but wasn't) mainly because, having been soooo calm, Lydia's screams at the crowning stage quite freaked me out. Think that's the bit that I find most scary..... But all you pros out there have got through it, so I'm sure I can too!

Really glad your DP felt a kick, Beetle. Mine did a few weeks ago and he was so overjoyed! Happens quite regularly now which is gorgeous.

Back to the breastfeeding topic. I was given an electric pump in hospital when DS was 2 days old as he wasn't feeding well. Crap midwife didn't show me how to use it properly meaning I ended up with bleeding nipples and her suggesting I formula feed instead.(sorry if TMI) I Spent day three in tears what with the baby blues and feeling like I was failing my baby.

Then an angel of a midwife called Helen appeared on the scene. I overheard her giving a bollocking to the other midwife in the nurse's office about the way she had dealt with me when I was going down the corridor to the loo. Helen helped position DS at every feed when she was on duty and she also pushed for him to be seen by the consultant and transferred to the NICU as he wasn't sleeping well and she couldn't settle him either. After a couple of days in NICU on some antibiotics he perked up.

The feeding/expressing still wasn't going well I was lucky if I got out 30mls. I ended up having to syringe feed him formula after every two hourly breastfeed. We spent 10 days in hospital and I used to count down the hours until Helen would be on duty, as without her support I couldn't have coped. When we were eventually discharged Helen told me that everyday when she came in she expected to find out I'd given up trying to breastfeed and she was so proud of me that I hadn't. We gave the midwifes a box of chocolates but Helen got one all to herself. .

Just typing this has made me cry, . I guess it just proves what an emotive subject breastfeeding is and how a good midwife can make such a difference. I met Helen by chance when out shopping 6 months later and was so pleased to be able to tell her I'd managed to keep up the breastfeeding and how I couldn't have if it wasn't for all her support in those early days.

At home we settled into a routine of mixed bottle and breast feeding for 7 months. And back to the topic of pumps. After trying 3 different hand pumps with not much success a friend lent us an Avent electric, I still never got much milk out but it was easier than the hand pumps, and the suction was better so you didn't get so many trickles of milk that escaped.

This time round I hope to breastfeed with a little more success but will still be getting the bottles in ready for if DC2 follows in the feeding footsteps of DC1.

Unfortuantely Helen the midwife no longer lives in my area . I hope one of you ladies gets to meet her instead

Oh, what a lovely story!

Thanks for all the bf info ladies. It's so valuable to have your experience!
ILTMIMI if baby is PKU we won't find out till about a week, and they won't start formula until we see the dietician and then everything can be delivered to the pharmacy so we'll have a good fortnight of breastfeeding, I reckon. Which will be a great start. He'll then have to go on to a strict low protein and supplement diet, other wise we risk brain damage! We're sciency types and understand a lot of the chemistry of it. We're trying to get DH a referral to london for a new drug for it, so if we've got any doubts we can get baby up to see them too. We knew the risk was there before we conceived him, although statistically it's still only background likelihood. We'll cope, we're in a better position than DH's parents were!

Hi all, first time here and found as up yet again in middle of the night!! Instead of lying in the dark though I would do something different - very interesting posts, you all look like a family!

Had 28 week scan yesterday and 36 scan booked mid March as planning HB. Last time midwife snowed in so only just made it to Hospital on time...20 mins spare.

Have all the stress of a teenage boy and a 2 year old girl and have no idea how this next one will affect the balance.....think maybe time to stop working as working from home just highlights how much I don't get done instead of being able to focus on what am I getting done on a more personal level.

Now onto the reason for coming on here...am looking to change my car now as a convertible mini not really the best fit for family of four let alone 5!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE my car but it has to go!!!

Have been looking at the VW Touran and the Ford S-Max. Must have 7 seater but not fan of the huge Espace types. Anyone any advice........................??????

You never know, if I solve the dilemma of how I fit all the delightful offspring into a car I may even sleep tonight!

Hello & welcome :)

Also looking at 7-seaters here, waiting to hear about DS2's mobility allowance first to find out if we'll get a motability car or a second-hand one instead.

Had a busy few days, went to a DH work drinks thing, everyone commented on bump , one guy was a GP, who was mostly nice but called all MWs 'madwives' and wasn't a fan of HB or BF, double . Anyway he reckoned he could tell this baby was transverse just by looking, and i think he's right. i get kicks on one side and punches on the other and can sometimes feel the body across the bump. great. am trying usual spinning stuff and hoping it will turn properly.
Does explain some of the issues i'm having, extreme breathlessness, almost faint at times, and a rather large sticking out bump.

Re BF, well i've just started my BF counsellor course so i'm rather passionate too :)
My main tip is to ask for help, but not just anyone. Don't assume that all MWs/nurses/GPs have a clue (see GP above!). Try and find out if you have a Mum2Mum/BF cafe-type place near you, if feeling brave, pop in beforehand so there are some familiar faces.
And please, go, even if you aren't having trouble, that way you have someone to ask when (and it is usually when not if) something changes/goes wrong/gets painful.

Also, buy 1 tube of Lansinoh and bung it on your nipples even when it's not hurting, great stuff. But you won't finish a tube so don't get more than 1, lol!

Actually had a good night's sleep last night, a rarity, but both boys up early, yawn. Best get them some breakfast, and me too, starving-phase has kicked in!

Morning all.

Thanks so much to everyone for the BF advice/experiences. I really want to BF and have seen how tough it can be when it doesn't go as you hope. I've seen a couple of my friends gettting terribly upset about it, so all tips are really very useful. I think I'm going to hold off buying a pump till I've had the baby and see how things go for the first 5 or so weeks.

Also having wobbles about maternity leave, though mine are slightly different as I've decided not to replace myself and am just redistributing work. I really didn't like the idea of someone coming in to do my job and hoping that I wasn't going to come back. And that they might be brilliant and show me up!

I am now worrying that I will simply demonstrate that it's perfectly possible to manage without me and will have talked myself out of a job. Or that it will be really hectic, they won't cope and I will feel as though I didn't organise enough cover. In conclusion, I would have worried whatever the circumstances! It's a strange notion, I've worked full time since leaving uni and am still finding the idea of having 8 months off quite surreal.

Watched OBEM last night on 4OD. It still scared me half to death even though Lydia and the Welsh girl were both totally amazing and I was in awe. Lydia was far too good-looking though, how come she hasn't got a fat jaw? How come I have a fat jaw? No one tells you about getting fat there!

It still looks like it REALLY hurts and I am with you Daisy on the crowning stage - it's the part that fills me with dread too. For some reason I'm not bothered at all by the idea of contractions but the "this is going to sting" bit fills me with terror. It's so pathetic, I was having a little sob after Lydia gave birth and I think it was mainly because I don't want to do it! I'm 36 for god's sake, I really need to pull myself together.

I was amused by Maxwell though, bless him, what a chump. "Can I go home and get some sleep". No you sodding well can't! Ha ha. I told DH about that this morning, just in case he gets any bright ideas.

Furry you are quite right about not comparing bump sizes and last night I got kicked so hard that it made me squeak, so I presume all is well in there.

I

Short message that!

I'd love any Capetown recommendations - we have 3 days there, 2 with planned daytrips and one to mooch!

BFing IMO and IME of working with mothers and newborns is 90% mindset. Often when women are determined to BF they do research, they monopolise the MW to get the latch right, they've got the support network in place so when problems arise they're onto them early. They put in the hours on the sofa, which is mind-numbingly boring, and for a few weeks at least it's the single most important thing in their life. That takes huge dedication and it's easy to see how people can give up.

The remaining 10% is luck really. You might be too exhausted, have a gastro bug, get rubbish advice, not have a supportive partner or you might be lucky.

BFing is never irretrievably lost though - it just depends how much you want to continue when you're in agony - and it's okay to draw the line.

I had my first antenatal class yesterday. Mentally comparing bumps (as you do) and although I'm the last by 2 weeks, and some are due beginning of March, my bump is by far the teeniest (and lowest/oddest shaped but I blame the transverse baby for that). When we were going round introducing ourselves (all first babies ) I was really surprised by the lack of correlation between bump size and due date!

Work...oh work...if they don't sort out maternity cover for me it's not my problem but I feel soooo bad for the students. Also lovely midwife yesterday told me I was mad for planning to work to 38 weeks, baby is transverse (and not budging and not ECVable) so I need to prepare for a possible CS and even if it does budge it'll probably go breech and then I'd need a pelvic X-ray, probable induction and might end in an EMCS anyway so likely to give birth around 38/39 weeks in either case! I do like her btw - she's just very upfront about things, and very aware of my history and my obsessive planning so giving me plenty of warning. Homework for next time is to write a birth plan (or 4 to cover most eventualities!).

In other news bloodwork was 'perfect', so no GD here, although my weight gain is on the low side....where did I put that chocolate?!

Hello everyone

Welcome Furry and LJB

JoeW Mine is the swing pump and i got it on ebay. Also, i think Lydia was 22! I am 36 this year and was also

sarahjinx I had my booking in appt at the hosp with my 1st scan as i was registered to a doc in another borough at the time. I had a 16 wk appt, urine, bp, doppler and blood results. 24 week appt, same except for bloods, was given MB1 form (or is it MBT1) and bloods form for next appt which is 28 weeks. I have to get my bloods done the week before.

Daisy reckon it's normal to feel like that. :)

ILTMI thanks for the bf advice. I had a v bizarre dream about it last night, actually it was more of a nightmare. Argh.

Livv Helen sounds lovely.

Also agree re the mindset & success b-feeding.
Every woman I know who's been successful with bf says something along the lines of 'if I wasn't so stubborn, I wouldn't have managed'.

I think there's a lack of basic info out there when pg, it's only how wonderful bf is, how good it is for baby, etc.

Sometimes (often?) the truth is that at the beginning it's sodding hard work, and can be painful even if the latch is right.

And if you know anyone who's bottle-feeding, they will off out getting their haircut, out for the evening, etc so early you will inevitably feel jealous as they hand baby+bottle over, and you need to be ready for that 'pinned-down' feeling.

On the flip side, get yourself a 'station' set up; tv remote, laptop, phone, glass of water, etc. & get cosy & snuggle with baby :)

Still on breastfeeding - I'm a first timer but really keen to breastfeed and a bit wary having heard tales of the (lack of)support available from midwives who don't have time to help out.

There's a whole load of breastfeeding support classes in my area (Hackney) but I was wondering whether you're allowed/supposed to go to those before you have the baby or only after? I'd like to go at least once before, whilst on ML, to get a feel for what I'm supposed to be doing but not sure if people will look odd at me if I turn up without a baby to feed!

Or are there special 'antenatal' breastfeeding classes I should go to instead?

Back on breastpumps can you use a different brand pump to your bottles? I have the Avent bottles and steriliser but am ummimg and ahhhing over a pump as the Avent Isis is good, but from everything I've seen and heard the Medela Swing seems better!

I have tommee tippee bottles Frakk but the swing pump. The pump came with 2 bottles and extra bags so you can freeze it also. So i assume you transfer to your own bottles?!

Saltedpretzel I agree with JKS on the lansinoh cream. A godsend! I also gave up on washable breast pads after a while. I found that multiple washings made them a bit rough on tender nipples. As far as disposables go, I will now always avoid ones with a pink backing (unless you always wear dark colours). I remember coming home from something to realise that you could see pink round breast pads under my pale pink shirt and white bra. Never again!

I am a bit shy re getting my boobs out, and bfing twice til 14 months didn't change that. I found a muslin tucked into my bra strap gave me confidence. But I soon moved to a sling when the first babe learned to bat it away.

JKS is right about finding a bf group. I was seriously bloody minded about bf otherwise would've found it hard to continue. I got to see a bf consultant mw in hospital with each baby before discharge. They were great. I then sought out a bf support group in my area. ecuse Def go to a bf group before you have the baby, it's a really good idea. I did anyway.

I used the avent hand pump last time. Got tommee tippee this time to go with all the bottles. I found I could only express one feed a day - in the am. (Took too long pm/eve). But once I was told that if you get the suction started, the milk just keeps coming, I then got the hang of it fine. (I thought you had to keep pumping! My poor boob). Frakk I found that I froze expressed milk in bmilk bags and used them as needed. So it didn't really matter about different bottles etc.

JoEW I hired my pump through Ambermedical (www.ardomums.co.uk). They did next day delivery, which was very handy as I just ordered it from my hospital bed (I was in for a caesar so knew when I'd be going home).

As for breastfeeding, I think support (both from breastfeeding counsellors/midwives and a good feeding pillow!) and bloody mindedness is crucial. As is a little self-kindness. We all go in with the best intentions and hopes and they don't always pan out that way - I'm firmly of the belief that whatever you can do is 'good enough'. Also, there is a lot of conflicting advice out there about breastfeeding and the do's and don'ts. I hold the strong view that 'nipple/teat' confusion is absolute bollocks - a baby will feed from anything as long as it's strong enough to suck. Certainly my premature twins were switched, from the moment of their birth, from NG (feeding) tubes, syringes, bottles, nipple, nipple shields, etc. In essence, they were fed fifty ways before each Friday and they never displayed any confusion or rejected either the nipple or the bottle at any point. We also used dummies (fairly essential kit for twins I can assure you!) and they also breastfed from me more frequently and from bottles less frequently as time went on as their strength improved. I also never had a 'let down' reflex - my milk was just there - which caused no end of confusion amongst the midwives, who treated me if I'd grown a second head ("What do you mean you CAN'T feel the letdown reflex?!"). I gave up apologising for it and took the view that as long as my milk was there and the babies were feeding then who cared.

I'd really recommend Clare Byam Cook's book on breastfeeding. It's not everyone's cup of tea and you might not agree with all of her points but she has some excellent advice on latch and positioning and it's worth a read, even if you don't agree with all of it. I learnt a lot from this book even though not all of it was applicable to me.

My final top tip on feeding is to punch in the phone number for La Leche into your mobile. They have a helpline. You could also find out the name/number of your local breastfeeding counsellor (ask your hospital/midwife) so that you have the details in your phone/notebook BEFORE the baby is born. That way, if you are struggling or the support isn't forthcoming in hospital you can just dig out the number rather than start the process of hunting down who and how. It can be pretty hard to find the energy to do that when you're frazzled, hormonal, sleep deprived.

Godfrakkincense you can use different brands of pumps and bottles, although if you 'match' the bottle to the pump you don't need to decant and can just bung in the fridge or freeze. However, when I was freezing milk I tended to use breastmilk freezer storage bags as they took up much less room than a bottle (flat) and also took much less time to defrost (again, flat). This meant I decanted regardless. It can be quite handy to have two sets of pump attachments/pump bottles so that once you've finished expressing you can just attach the new, steralised attachments to the pump and put the used ones in the sink for later. Pretty handy late at night when you don't want to be washing/loading the steraliser.

Hope this helps.

Yep, different bottles to pump is no problem.

ecuse - some hospitals do do ante-natal bf'ing classes, ask your MW about details in your area.

And yy to 90% of successful being mindset. After having an EMCS with ds1 I was very upset about how the birth went pear shaped, so to take back control I did everything in my power to bf. Within the first few weeks I fed through a bad latch, mastitis and nipple thrush, but it was sheer stubborness and determination to get at least something right.

I also think that some people don't like the feeling of being out of control when it comes to bf'ing. In this day and age (how old do I sound?!) we are very much into control, we control almost every part of our lives without even realising it. Then this little darling bundle comes along who knows nothing of schedules and turns your world upside down.

I thought I was ready for everything a newborn could throw at me, but I found the early days very intense and it was a real shock to me. DS1 always wanted to be held and that was such a shock, I thought you fed them, you put them down and they slept for a few hours . I felt very out of control and at first I blamed a lot of that on bf'ing.

However I soon realised that I was just looking for something to blame and bf'ing seemed the easiest thing to blame it on. But the truth was ds1 was just being a normal newborn and I had to just give myself over to the process of becoming a mum for the first time. I stopped trying to find ways to fix everything (feeding, sleep etc) and just went with the flow, and by God that was a huge turning point for me.

I'm wittering, but I hope this makes some sense

Thank you so much everyone for sharing your BF stories and tips.

Kitstwins there are a couple of Clare Byam Cook books on amazon are you talking about "What to expect when you're breastfeeding" I also saw a thread where "Food of Love" was recommended and have looked at the Irna May Wright BF book, really not sure which one to get and don't really want to end up with 8 books on breastfeeding due to indecisiveness!!

"What to expect" is good and very readable unlike some books, though CB-C gets a rough ride on MN for some reason.

If a pg lady came to our bf group to chat & say hi pre-baby we'd make her a cuppa and grill ask her loads about plans & family & stuff. I hope we'd make her welcome :)

Hi everyone, haven't been on for a while but just seconding everyone's thoughts on Lydia and the fab water birth! Was a bit scared though that she was still a bit screamy at the end despite being so incredibly calm and even trying to reassure her sister between contractions! So it must really hurt then, even for zen-like creatures. Not sure the MW who did the Welsh girl's birth would be my cup of tea - this bit is really going to hurt?!

Glad to read all the BF advice - I posted a thread about exactly that and got some good advice re expressing etc and was also directed to kellymom which is a great website (although a little Americanised for my tastes!).