April 2011 - we'll shop til we pop!

[GoldFrakkincenseAndMyrrh]

Continuation from our old thread here

So maybe this thread we'll see some babies?! And definitely lots more shopping

Thanks for the kind welcome words everyone. The chats about vejazzeling has already made me laugh a lot and I think i'm going to enjoy it on here .

Lis & cyclebump my employers are OK, but not great. I am #4 in the space of a year to have a baby, so boss seems to think he knows it all now (can be patronising to say the least!). Speak to your doc and see what they say. You really must look after yourself and baby. Work will survive. Just think. you'll be done in a few weeks and so it'll do them good to get used to you not being around. Failing that, offer to work from home one day a week perhaps? Just don't push yourself.

Waxing I have carried on throughout pregnancy. I always find it a bit owch, but I find that if I let everything go I simply feel less feminine. And given that I haven't had the randiness that people refer to, I need all the help I can get to get the mood .

Saw my MW for 28 week bits today. After everyone telling me I am HUGE, she's said I am bang on. Also, was worried that baby was lying across my tum and apparently "he's" head down.

Now, we haven't found out what we're having, but I have thought for a while it's a boy. MW today referred throughout to "him" whihc has got me thinking. Is it recorded somewhere in your records, even if you don't ask to know?? Am I reading too much in to it (I am secretly REALLY excited if I'm having a boy!).

Hello All, and welcome to the April Family new people

Kittycat your friends are being daft. From what my GP and MW have said they pretty much expect that most pregnant ladies will be anemic once into the third trimester. Iron tablets aren't great but are better tasting than the iron syrup I'm have. TMI Alert if you find that they bung you up (though they can cause things to go the other way IYSWIM) don't try and ...ahem... 'force' things. Just wait and when you need to go things will move a lot easier than they would otherwise. Though I find when I need to go I really need to go quick, and it's more of a little and often approach!

I've been in a grouchy mood all day, had to do some serious tongue biting to stop myself snapping at people. I am in awe of those who have used the hormonal ranting to such good affect! (And stayed much more restrained than I could).

Had my 31wk check yesterday with the GP, all is well and my Little Insect is head down. Here's hoping it stays that way, my back and SPD may be worse but at least I can breath easier!

Oh and as for the waxing and vagjazzeling. I've never waxed but have shaved. Usually I try and keep things neat and on the well trimmed side. However currently my DH is referring to my Lady Garden as the Lady Jungle! (I think I may have to trust him with the nail scissors because my poor back just won't let me contort enough anymore!).

I have also never vagjazzeled, though did once have some very similar designs as iron- on patches on some jeans, does that count?!

My friend had a little girl this afternoon, she is gorgeous. It's making me even more impatient to meet my little one.

Bless you Cyclebump, I really feel for you.

Nothing will be as important as spending time with your baby in the first couple of months, absolutely NOTHING. I expect you will just want to curl up at home with all your creature comforts around you. Camping at 6 weeks for me would have been an absolute nightmare

As for your DP, have you pointed out that you'll actually learn lots of useful practical stuff at antenatal classes - like how to avoid accidents around the home, lower the chances of cot death and the science behind birth and labour? Actually, that last one might just put him off even more...

There were a few women on their own at my community classes, you might find that without anybody with you, you'll be able to mix more and make some good friends to hang out with after the baby arrives.

PS - I am sorry lots of you seem to be suffering too, but I am so relieved to hear it's normal at this stage of pg not just me being a complete emotional wreck

Cycle
Sorry to hear that your partner isn't being cooperative about the classes, (I won't refer to him as your DP as he isn't being a darling at the moment).

I would definately recommend you go to the classes on your own rather than not go at all. When Pg with DC1 at our antenatal class there was a lovely lady always on her own and we never saw or heard anything about her partner. That she was on her own probably made the rest of us a bit chattier as we didn't want to exclude her whereas this time round when it has been all couples at class so far people seem less inclined to chat to each other. (By the way, it turned out most of us had met her DH in a professional capacity as he was one of the OBS/GYN consultants at the hospital. I'm not surprised he gave the classes a miss).

Liv - that's quite funny, trying to imagine their conversation at home:
her: Dh i've got my class times through, can you make them?
him: err, honey....i'm an ob/gyn remember, i kind of know a leetle bit about birth....
her:

Cycle - go on your own it will be fine, the NCT ones i went to were very couple-based, though there was still one woman on her own. the ones at the local clinic were all just mums.

Vajazzling?? not for me! I knew a woman once who did like to 'sculpt' shapes, did a Nike tick ('just do it') for her dh's birthday once!

Oh and 6-wks post DS1 ('normal' birth) i was just coming out of a fog of sleep-deprivation and incessant feeding, with DS2 i was pleasantly surprised as i'd had a c-s, but still nowhere near up to camping.

Saw a thread about no-one telling you how hard bf can be, and i agree thinking the same back when DS1 was born. As they said on that thread, it can be 'easy, cheap & instant' (& lots of other good things, but you need to get a mindset of stubbornness to get you through the hard times. Or you may be lucky and it all works perfectly from the start....
Every woman I know who's bfed successfully past a few weeks says a similar thing; 'if I wasn't so bloody-minded i never would have stuck with it'
Something to bear in mind.

Sorry to come on just for a quick moan but
ow ow ow my hips and back are so painful and I'm just so tired, I couldn't get comfy all night Usually I'd ring in to work sick but I'm in the middle of re-structuring a website and am really enjoying the project yes I'm a big geek so actually want to go in despite knowing I'll be grumpy all day.

Bleugh, time to get this achey backside in gear!

P.S Cycle there were some women on their own at my antenatal class on Tuesday but unless you sat and counted the number of people it wasn't obvious as activities were either everyone together or groups so (for the NHS ones at least) they don't seem to emphasise the couple stuff at all.

Awh congrats thaney on your friends arrival.

Thanks for the words ladies. First tablet caused me to wake up at 1am this morning in AGONY and upset tum. Am shattered. Will call the midwife in a bit.

Beetle - ow! Can i join you, have done something to my lower back (trapped a nerve? pulled something?) and it is v painful to walk, keeps 'twinging' very sharply. I'm used to general aches but this is something else, ow ow ow!!

And following on from you calling baby 'insect' & Southsearocks (anyone else following her thread? waters broke at 28wks on holiday in the States) calling her's 'pebble', i'm going for 'tiddler' as it seems somehow appropriate for a little fish :)

kittycatcat definitely not your fault on the iron front & I can't believe that anyone would be so rude & nasty as to make you feel bad about it. I had low iron but luckily midwife prescribed red meat, sh*t loads of green leafy veggies (broccoli, spinach & kale are the best), dried apricots and plenty of really dark chocolate! All brilliant providers of iron. If you've been prescribed pills then prob best to take them, but increase all the iron input into your diet which will help enormously. DON'T let it get you down though!

cyclebump i think you, if it's possible, need to have a very stern word with your DP... it is not his body & he doesn't understand what you're going through and frankly should just be there holding your hand whatever it is you need. But definitely go to the classes whether he will join you or not - they will hopefully help put your mind at ease if nothing else! I am also totally with you on the not booking anything for the 1st few months after birth - we have no idea how we'll feel, how baby will be, etc, etc... don't put pressure on yourself, just look after yourself!

So tired this morning - another night of being kicked in the ribs...which is obviously great as Prawn is clearly an active little thing, but I could really do without the sudden pain at 3am which only makes me think i need to get up & pee.....

Morning! My ante natal classes are ladies only. I think it's quite good, we are all honest (well I am) about whats going on with us and those embarrasing questions are a little easier to ask! The NHS runs a separate Daddies Class for those who what to attend.

Woudn't it be handy to have an OB/GYN for a DH. Although my dads a joiner and my mum is still waiting for skirting boards in the kitchen he did 5 years ago. :o

Been up most of the night again with my hips. But also got a cold coming on I think! Thought I'd managed to avoid all those over christmas.

I've managed to get past the troll of a receptionist at the surgery this morning to get an appointment at 9.45. I described how I was feeling and how I couldn't walk, 30 weeks etc and she said "and you think thats should qualify for an emergency appointment" Yes I do! Unless you are unconcious (sp? its early) you are not getting past her! Why is everything so bloody difficult!

Camping at 6 weeks? I'm a camping never ever girl, so I guess it's what you are used to. I would imagine the practicalities of a new born would be a bit difficult. I'm guessing proper camping on a site with facilities and not wilderness type stuff! Maybe we could all come with you! 40 women all with newborns! I can just imagine the chaos that would cause!! Do you sisters have DC's Cycle?

I know it ws briefly discussed before, but is anyone thinking of doing a birthing playlist? Not like the woman on OBEM, I am a singer, but even I wouldn't inflict that on other birthing mums! Sex on the beach anyone! I was thinking a playlist of my favourite tunes and songs that mean something to both of us. Secretly, I thought if I'd been having a girl I could have played "Isn't she lovely" on a loop!! But I can't think of anything baby boyish!

Hi eveyrone, can definitely join in the back pain grumbles, I had the most annoying twinge in my right hip yesterday, although luckily a nice hot bath seems to have done the trick and I'm now just back to the usual dull ache I always have. Just hope I now don't have sciatica on both sides (if that is even possible).

JKS sounds like you may have a touch of sciatica, the only thing that helps mine is swimming and not walking as much for a couple of days (normally have just under a mile too and from the bus stop to work each day).

Currently getting very stressed about work, in 5 weeks time I have to present my research plan to the university so they can decide whether I'm worthy of continuing my PhD, unfortunately my brain has turned to total mush and I am in no way prepared for this ... aaaargh

Thanks everyone.

My sisters don't have children, hence their incredibly optimistic outlook on how easy things are.

So, after having a brief crying moment I had a hot shower and decided to make clear to DP that his comment had upset me. He'd already clocked he'd made a bit of an error and was ready to listen attentively.

I explained that while I could deal with him not going with me if he was going to make an enormous fuss and/or be incredibly uncomfortable, I expected him to support me in my pregnancy choices and how I wanted to prepare for what will be an enormous physical event.

I also pointed out that while I'm not terrified, birth and baby is a bit of a scary prospect and the way I cope is to do my research and plan ahead. I'm way calmer if I know what's coming. I asked him how many times a week a newborn needs a full bath, he had no idea and I pointed out that it was exactly the kind of thing I could ask while there.

I also pointed out that I am missing my mum already and I need his support more when she's away as otherwise I feel very alone. I also want the opportunity to meet other local mums.

He apologised and said he was wrong and that he completely understood why I wanted to go and that he shouldn't have said it was stupid.

I'll be fine going on my own, I just want him to support me going!

Feel so much better for talking it out. No point sitting on these things I reckon.

Hi everyone,

Just had a crazy few days at work so haven't been able to keep up with all the chat. Trying to catch up now. Sounds as though everyone is falling apart!! Hope everyone is having a better day today. I was bitching this morning as my feet are too large for any of my shoes; have come to work in my running shoes - oh the irony - as they are the only thing I can get on. It's a strong look, thank the lord I haven't got any meetings today. I might have to go any buy a cheapo version of Uggs, as my legs and feet seem to be retaining water full time now.

At least I hope it's water retention and not fat. I was shocked at how little weight some people have put on, I've hit about 18lbs, which the interweb guides seem to say is pretty normal but then I read that some people here have only put on a few lbs - hell fire, I am going to have my work cut out come April. Let's hope it's true that breastfeeding makes you super thin!!

I've carried on waxing the whole time I've been pregnant and it's been fine. Doesn't hurt any more than usual. Haven't ventured into the world of bikini bling though and perhaps now isn't the time, as taunting DH with sparkle when I can't be arsed to have sex seems rather cruel. I kept him awake for two hours last night, snoring, so I expect he's not finding me all that attrative at the moment anyway. Pregnancy is all about the glam isn't it?!

Cycle have your tried simply laughing in the face of suggestions such as going camping with a six week old baby. Hello?! What planet??? Ok, I know some people are super cool and go to Glastonbury with their week-old child but in reality your sister is being a bit daft. You might find it easier just to say that rather than trying to give her suggestions a more reasoned response.

As for DP, my view is that both me and DH wanted a baby, I might be the one carrying it but we're in it together and we do all the 'work' together. That includes the classes. Maybe tell him that you will be expecting him to be clued up for the birth and if he's not going to the classes how does he intend to get the info? Not sure if that's helpful, I know everyone's relationships are different, but maybe he doesn't realise that you're lacking a bit of support at the moment and that it's hard with your mum moving away too.

Kitty hope you're feeling better too. Of course low iron isn't your fault! Don't worry about that at all. Advice here is all very sensible.

Now, who's good on travel insurance? I'm possibly going to Paris for the weekend in a few weeks, as DH has a work trip arranged and we thought it might be a nice idea to get a weekend in. I have bog standard, year round, travel insurance. Do I need to get something extra or just get an E111 form? I'm going to Eurostar it, so no flying. What does anyone who knows about these things think?

Just back from the docs. Been signed off for 2 weeks. Will go back after that and see how I feel about going back then. So it means I've loads of time to MN now :o

Seriously though, the doctor had no issues with signing me off. He had seen me a few times recently and said he was expecting to see me again for this reason. So I'm feeling slightly better at not having the worry of work for a couple of weeks at least.

Lis
x

Well said cycle. Glad he now understands.

Excellent news LisMcA

JoEW if you've got annual travel insurance, as far as I know, that's you covered. Also good to have the EHIC (new card form of the E111)... and that should have you sorted for any eventuality! Have a wonderful time - I'm so jealous!

Cyclebump well done you for talking plainly to you DP but I'm also with JoEW on the fact that your DP should share everything he can with you! He needs to know how to care for a baby, what's coming, etc, etc... and how else is he going to learn?!

I'm trying to paint skirting boards today... slightly frustrated by quite how physically incompetent I'm becoming. And being at home just makes me want to eat more biscuits....

EHIC replaced the E111 but it'll be a hassle. The French hate them. Take handheld maternity notes. Have the embassy on speed-dial.

Where are you staying?If you go into labour whilst there the place you need to get to is either the American hospital in Neuilly or Hopital Necker in the 7th.

Check your insurance - it may cover you, if not BUPA do short cover up to 8 months. If you do end up having the baby there it's a stay of 4 days and then you need to wait for papers etc so you will want accommodation and changes to travel plans covered!

How many weeks would you be when you go? And how's your French?! If you want to know how to say anything message me and I'll give you the key bits of childbirth vocab :)

KittyCat Increase your fibre or I drink a glass full of prune juice before breakfast bloody awful but stops piles!!

Good news about getting signed off Lis as it sounds like you need it. Hopefully it'll stop your employer bring an ass too.

Poor everyone else who's falling apart :( do look after yourselves. And don't listen to what anyone else says about iron levels/how fab they're feeling. They're not you

cycle my antenatal classes are women only although our DH/DPs are invited next week. And I really don't want to plan anything firth first 6 weeks but we have family coming 3 weeks after EDD which is lovely but also not!

Cyclebump I take my hat off to anyone who goes camping with a six week old baby. I'm sure totally insane plenty of people do it but unless you're Ray Mears I think it's a lot to set yourself up for. The thought of slumming it under damp canvas has never particularly appealed to me but with a newborn it seems like inflicting torture for the sheer hell of it. At the very least it's a long weekend in a small tent with four billion sick-stained muslin cloths, which is not my idea of of a happy time. And being browbeaten into huddling over a primus stove with a newborn at the behest of CHILDLESS relatives seems the final insult. If your sisters are so keen to go native with a six week old then they can save the jolly camping extravaganza for when their offspring arrive.

Personally I think the best thing would be to cheerfully announce that you're going to save the holiday planning until the baby arrives and you know how things stand. By the way, I am not surprised to hear that they are child free and consider camping with a newborn no big deal! I came out with crap like that before my twins arrived (once uttered the immortal words "how hard can it be?" to a taxi driver with twin sons who nearly drove into a wall he was laughing so hard!).

LisaMcA hadn't thought about a birthing playlist, although it has to be preferable to that woman on OBEM warbling love songs to her husband. God, call me hard-hearted, but that was embarrassing! I think having a labour/birth CD is a nice idea, especially if the songs are meaningful and relax you. I'll be taking my hypnobirthing CD in which has lots of droning to 'calm' piano music - my husband will probably want to kill himself when he hears it.

My antenatal classes (NCT Refresher) is on Tuesday next week and is 'ladies only'. There is a 'partners' session too but we're struggling with this as it starts quite early and I'm not sure we can score a babysitter that evening. I may be going on my own, which will be pretty par for the course (did the hypnobirthing course on my own too). I think I need to try and sort this out so he can come along as otherwise he's just going to be clueless and in the way. I'm all for him being there to see the baby being born (we both missed the twins being born as it was a general anaesthetic delivery - very upsetting) but I've made it clear that if he's going to be a hindrence and get in the way then I'm going to be selfish and do it on my own. I don't want him faffing about and fainting and making things worse by being clueless and getting in the way. God, I'm sounding quite enraged. I think it must be the hormones >

x posts, Cycle, glad you said something and feel more supported.

Thanks Frakk. I'll be 31 weeks, so it's pretty unlikely that anything is going to happen, just thought I ought to be prepared. My French is terrible - GCSE level 20 years ago - so it wouldn't be ideal to go into labour in France, regardless. I haven't booked the hotel yet but was planning somewhere pretty central. I'll look at the regular insurance and see what that says.

And can I have you and the embassy on speed-dial?!

It's a long weekend of sleeping in tents with communal toilets and washing facilities. It's a music weekend I normally go on with the family.

Luckily, organiser is a lovely and super practical mum of two who had her second baby during the snow crisis and who is planning to take both with her. Her response to the suggestion I could do even one night was to laugh and say there was NO WAY I would want a tiny baby in a tent.

She says I'm more than welcome to be driven up for the day and hang out with the other non-singers with babies but that there was no pressure and that I should only come if I wanted to see people and chill out for the day.

Thank God for lovely people with sound advice!

I'm not too worried about P dealing with tiny baby without doing the antenatal course. He has to work in the morning anyway so has legitimate cause to not do half the day, but also he has dealt with tiny newborns before.

Clearly it's not the same as when it's your own but he's 13 years older than his youngest sibling and he was VERY hands on with him and his sister when she was tiny. His mum said she'd often wake late wondering why the baby hadn't woken her only to find a teenage DP sitting with a peacefully sleeping baby on the sofa as 'he started to fuss so I changed him as I thought you'd want to sleep'.

Hi everyone :)

Cyclebump - really glad you got your DP to see sense. I think men can sometimes be a bit dense about these things, because it isn't them that is having to physically go through it. Sounds like you've sorted him though :)
And thank goodness for sensible-camping-woman. Not to scare you, but at 6 weeks (I had an EMCS) I could barely walk and my scar was still weeping everywhere. Nice.

LisMcA - ah good, now you can relax

Jo - just check what the situation would be for your baby, how much cover you would have etc.
If you are feeling well in yourself then there is no reason why you shouldn't go. I wouldn't go myself, but then my pelvis wouldn't stand 3 hours sat on a train!

JKS - you are so right about the bloody-mindedness needed to BF. Not everyone has a tough time, but you do need to be a bit stubborn about it I think - and you need to accept that for the first 2-3 weeks you are going to be feeding and little else.
I certainly wasn't prepared for how hard it was going to be, and if it wasn't for my DH and my Mum then I think I would have given up, which would have upset me hugely because I really wanted to succeed at it.