To NCT or not NCT?

[themaleworrier]

I'm sure this topic has cropped-up before but I would be grateful for opinion's/experiences.
DW is very keen to "do" NCT and we are booked in to start at our local (Beaconsfield) classes at the end of September. As far as I can tell the most compelling reason to join NCT is to meet like-minded souls who can help one through the first few dark days/weeks/months of new parenthood. From what I have read opinion seems to be divided as to whether there is any other point to the classes. Furthermore I have heard mutterings that the classes are a bit anti-male (jokingly or otherwise) and there is much joshing at the our general uselessness etc. etc. Also, and this what is worried me most, there is a degree of "audience participation" and standing around in a circle pretending to be a Placenta (so I heard from a friend). All of this sounds Very Bad and not Up My Street At All. If all the above is true and we are simply going through this exercise in order to expand our social life, then is a better way? OR are the classes actually of great benefit to DW and so should I swallow my reservations and put up with it for her sake?
Answers on a postcard please....

Well, our classes were certainly not anti-male, and DH was a better birth-partner because of them. Completely clued-up, and able to stick up for me when the midwives were being mental.

I don't recall pretending to be a placenta...

So we both found the classes very useful, but unfortunately didn't Bond with the other couples.

Not my type.

I have heard it can depend on the person leading the classes - some can be preachy and too basic (eg 'do you think when pregnant you should or should not drink alcohol? that kind of thing)- but again agree there is an element of people looking for information/contacts in their local area who will be going through the same thing as they are.

We are starting our NCT classes next month and I am anxious about having to be friends with people or getting stuck on endless meet ups with people I dont care for but we know two couples who did their classes last year and both felt it was good to get a chance to hear about other people's experiences and both are still in touch with mothers/fathers they met on the course.

I am expecting some of it to be obvious and not terribly interesting/helpful but as a first time mother (also first time for my husband) we wanted to do them as part of the experience if you will and just in case that nugget of information we find out is then of actual use to us.

We have friends who arent doing NCT as they think it is a waste of money and I guess that could be true but we took the view that better this first time to go along and disregard what we dont need etc then to not know at all.

My Husband is abit 'mmmmm' about the time it will be taking but its like anything once its over it makes no odds and its 2 hrs otherwise just sitting in front of the telly.

I dont think you have to do NCT but if you can afford it I dont think it is actually going to hurt.

I did NCT with my first and would recommend it, ours had a really good support network for after the babies were born, our NCT group supporter arranged weekly meet up's at her house until about a month or two after we'd all given birth. Our group was quite small and the DD's varied by 2 months. My DH enjoyed meeting the other Dads.
I joined as none of my close friends or family had young children so I found it really useful to be able to talk to people who did. Am now pregnant with my 2nd and won't be doing the AN classes again as they are quite expensive and generally geared to 1st timers. I'll go to the coffee mornings etc once on maternity leave though.
I guess a lot depends on the AN teacher. Ours was a lovely no nonsense mum of 3 and we never had to be a placenta. But she did make up some lovely examples of what babies first nappy would look like using mustard etc, after that the real thing was a doddle.

I would recommend it. We met some nice couples and found a lot of the classes really useful and I found a lot of focus was actually on the partner and how they could help/ feel included so not anti male at all! However, I guess it is also dependent on quality of teacher...ours was fab but we had one class with school marmish breast feeding lady.
Only thing I didnt like was that they wouldnt cover c section forceps etc in much detail..idea being this "normalises it. Two of ladies in my class had c sections and I had forceps and neither of us had any choice at all re this as medically necessary!

I would highly recommend it. I did the standard NHS for DS1. Not to bad, overall, I guess. But the midwives who ran it were very preachy about not using drugs.

For DS2 I did NCT, and although I didn't particularly care for our course leader, she didn't make us try to be a placenta or anything like that. Out of the 5 mums, 4 of us continue to meet up. The partners were welcome for one of the days, and at least we were able to choose which one of the days would be more suitable for them with a majority rules decision.

I think I had a poor NCT experience. In the first class we;

• put sugar/potatoes/lard etc in carrier bags to represent the weight of a baby
• were told to think of contractions as waves breaking on the shore and to imagine the warmth of the sun taking the pain away (having had back to back baby/forceps/skull fracture(baby)/internal injuries(me) I found what I suspected to be true; it's a load of cr@p)
• AN teacher refuced to discuss or answer any questions about possible problems/C section because the 'negative vibes' were not helpful!!!

I would read lots, talk to friends & go to local/HNS classes. I also have an issue with the pressure NCT/NCT devotees put on mothers re: vaginal birth & breast feeding... Doing what suits you and your baby best can't be taught as it's different for everyone :)

I found our local NCT classes really helpful and would recommend them. It's not just helpful for the women, it's helpful for the husbands/partners too, so it's not just a case of going along for your wife's benefit, you should get a lot from it too. We didn't find it at all anti-male, although there were a couple of women-only sessions which I really liked having.

My midwives have all been nice but very busy and haven't covered half the stuff I think they're supposed to have, and I could never get an answer about NHS antenatal classes, so the NCT classes have been really useful in filling in all the gaps.

We didn't have to pretend to be a placenta by the way! There is some participation along the lines of discussion, practicing positions and relaxation techniques etc. but it's helpful stuff and beats just sitting listening for 2 hours at a time.

I think it depends on what you're looking for.

For me, I didn't learn anything I didn't already know because I'm the type to overprepare and I'd already read a good few pregnancy books cover to cover.

There was a lot of emphasis on what we were feeling, and stuff like c-sections and inductions were barely touched on. All the emphasis was on preparing for a natural birth with little or no pain relief which is lovely if it works but is not always practical.

That said, while DH also thought some of it was silly, he did feel he got some useful knowledge out of it.

I found the NHS antenatal class crammed a lot more useful information into a two hour session.

That said, I would recommend it anyway. It is absolutely invaluable for your DW to know a ready made group of first time mothers in your area.

If nothing else, she'll have a group of women who will completely understand if she feels the need to discuss the birth in great detail, or compare newborn poo, or whether the baby is latching on properly.
Don't worry too much about feeling obliged to socialise if you don't want to. I found my group was quite casual.