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Share your unique birth stories and read heartwarming stories from fellow mums. For more on your baby’s development, check out the Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

I kind of want to share my birth story ...

34 replies

MamiBabi · 22/11/2009 20:22

Would anyone be interested in reading about it or should I keep it to myself? I sort of want other people's take on things but I'm not sure if anyone wants to read about it, let alone give me their take on why I'm slightly peeved!

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drinkyourmilk · 22/11/2009 20:24

I think there are lots of birth stories written on here. It sounds like you need to tell others - so please share. If people don't want to read about it they don't need to.

PoppyIsApain · 22/11/2009 20:25

Please share with us MamiBabi, i or one am interested

5inthebed · 22/11/2009 20:26

I love birth stories!

Share away, and congratulations

PoppyIsApain · 22/11/2009 20:26

i meant i for one am interested

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 22/11/2009 20:29

Go for it! we love a good birth story.

madmissy · 22/11/2009 20:30

share it! things might make sense!?

MamiBabi · 22/11/2009 21:05

Ok - here goes.

After weeks of trying to get things going I woke up having a contraction at 3am. Every 10-12 mins and woke DH as knew it was the real thing (DS was a painful and horrid induction with epidural that came out of back at the end without anyone believing that I was experiencing every bit of the pain of the last few contractions before delivery - could not get control over pain so ventous and forceps followed).

Anyway, contractions were fine, watched an episode of 'Cracker'! By 3.45 contractions were coming every 5 mins so phoned hospital who did normal paracetamol and bath speech, come in when you can't cope with the pain...
Called mum to come over and look after DS. She arrived at 4.45 by which time contractions every 2-3 mins and requiring more concentration to get through. The hospital is around 30 mins away so in the confusion we left - my mum probably should have stopped us leaving but she said afterwards that she just didn't realise how close to delivery she was as in her recollection of her own deliveries, contractions could go on like this for hours

Anyway, half way to hospital waters exploded, I was gripping the hand holdy thing... as we pulled into carpark in between contractions I was very clear with DH that I was not going to be able to get out of the car - said 'phone midwife - last no on phone and get them to come here'. He did this as he got out of the car. I could hear him say that we were outside A&E (we weren't, we were at the main entrance) Shouted at him that we weren't at A&E but he had run off. I felt down and felt the head, I had been pushing uncontrollably with every contraction since waters went), tipped onto my side, had another contraction and then started shouting DH's name without response - can remember being incredibly worried that DD was going to be born into my trouser leg!

Don't know how long I was on my own for but felt incredibly alone, never doubted my ability to birth my baby, knew that everything was going to be ok but just felt alone and not listened to - I had shouted that we weren't at A&E but DH had run off for help without hearing me, or listening to me

Anyway, midwives turned up, said we're going to get you out of the car, I said, head is here, they pulled my knickers and trousers off, contraction, delivered head in one push then delivered body with next contraction. Got out of car with knickers round ankles, one flip flop on and thanked god it was 5.25am and dark and nobody in car park!

DH ran off when we arrived because MW told him to(thinking he was at A&E to run in to get porter and wheelchair). Although, the labour and delivery was fine - feel it was a walk in the park compared to the induction with DS, really proud of doing it without pain relief, did it on my own to all intents as I would have delivered then with or without MWs, only needed 3 stitches for tear of episiotomy scar, have heeled really well, almost back to normal after 5.5 weeks. Have a lovely baby, feeds really well, sleeps well, DS is fine with her etc The problem is that I feel a bit annoyed with DH for running off and leaving me on my own - at the time I was probably in transition. Would you be annoyed?

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MamiBabi · 22/11/2009 21:06

Sorry for long story - didn't realise there was so much of it until I started writing!

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madmissy · 22/11/2009 21:11

First off bloomin well done!!
And I would feel exactly like you would with regards to DH must have been scary for you.
BUT
remember he was probably really panicking and very worried it would have been very obvious that you were in pain and not far off i imagine

he probably was panicking so much thats what caused him to panic and say a&e?

madmissy · 22/11/2009 21:12

that sounds very logical lol!

but believe me i really feel for you! brave lady!

MamiBabi · 22/11/2009 21:12

I know he was in a blind panic and I really appreciate this, bit can't help feeling he was a silly sod for running off ...

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lockets · 22/11/2009 21:13

This reply has been deleted

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RorysRacingMa · 22/11/2009 21:13

omg. What an amazing story, you brave woman.

In my experience the waters breaking have twice been at the start of the process and once about 15 mins before delivery. i expect DH was in a panic, not sure where to find help, not sure the two of you could do this together especially after last birth experience and maybe he couldn't hear you?

i would be a little bit annoyed but mainly very proud of myself, in your shoes. Well done.

NormaStanleyFletcher · 22/11/2009 21:14

Oh love. Well done you. Fantasticly well done.

I probably would be annoyed, but forgive him for mistaking where you were, being soooo concerned for you, and thinking that he had to do whatever the midwives told him.

And now you have a squidgy lovely DD

madmissy · 22/11/2009 21:15

yeah bless him have you told him you are bit upset?

have to say i would be furious! im 36 weeks and terrified of going through the transitional stage

wilkos · 22/11/2009 21:16

oh. my. god. that is incredible! well done you! as birth stories go that is a 10 out of 10!

but in answer to your question - yes i would be annoyed BUT, he is a man, who was TOLD by a midwife (who had no idea of the actual situation) in what was probably the most stressful situation of his life to go and find help when you reached hospital. so i wouldnt blame him for making what in hindsight turned out to be a really crap decision.

zebramummy · 22/11/2009 21:17

well i was 9.5cm dilated when the midwife tried to bully dh into taking me home and he did actually say 'look i'm going home alone then" to which i replied 'DON'T YOU DARE' - ds was born within half an hour. four years on i still haven't quite forgiven him deep down

BelleDameSansMerci · 22/11/2009 21:19

Wow - am slightly tearful reading this. Well done! Congratulations. You're fantastic.

MamiBabi · 22/11/2009 21:19

I did tell him - about a week after the birth, I kept shouting at him (hormones, feeling really snappy) and accidentally on purpose shouted 'you never bloody listen to me, just like when we got to the hospital and you ran off...etc' probably should have had an adult discussion about it

Thanks for all your replies, feeling more rational about things already!

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EdgarAllenPoo · 22/11/2009 21:21

congratulations!!

wow - well done you.

don't be angry with your DP - he was probably v. frightened.

you have your lovely baby!! hooray!

Chunkamatic · 22/11/2009 21:22

Wow - what a story and well done you!!

TBH I would feel annoyed with my DP in the same position, but it is probably a little bit unfair. As others have said he must have been panicking and was probably just focused on doing what the MW had told him to. It also sounds like he didnt really understand just how close you were when he headed off.

Do try to forgive him, I bet he would have done it differently if he'd realised. It's not worth feeling like your birth experience was ruined by this, it sounds like you did a fantastic job and you should be busy feeling immensly proud of yourself rather than annoyed with DH.

Congrats on your DD!

MamiBabi · 22/11/2009 21:27

Thank you all, feeling quietly proud of myself as I head off to bed tonight - maybe will lay off DH for a bit

Maybe this one goes into the vaults for use at a later date if needed when DH forgets what a 'power' I actually am!!

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Debs75 · 22/11/2009 21:31

What a birth! What a great story to tell your DD, I think deliverys en-route sound so much more exciting. Obviously exciting years away rather then during. You must have been pretty scared so Well Done for doing it on your owm with almost no help.

IME men are pretty useless at the birth, they don't know what to do and they are watching their loved one in great pain. He panicked and got confused and prob thought MW will know best she works at Hospital and has delivered loads of babies so will do what she says to be the best help to lovely DW.

Have a chat about it and let him know you felt a bit scared and alone delivering in a car park, then lighten the mood and say at least it wasn't midday

Congrats and enjoy your baby

MamiBabi · 22/11/2009 21:41

I think you're right Debs75 - I think the bit that really sticks is that he listened to the bloody MW rather than me, even though I had spent weeks coaching him that the MW wasn't always right so that we didn't have a repeat of the awful last birth ending in forceps - had the MW been ignored then someone might have realised that the MW had been topping up the pillow rather than the epidural earlier, possibly avoiding the forcepd delivery!!

Anyway, feeling far better about things already - thank you all!

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purpleduck · 22/11/2009 21:55

Mami - sit down and have a conversation with him - shout if you have to, but get those feelings out!!

My dh fell asleep while I was in labour. It was a very long one and he had mised a whole nights sleep and was onto the second night. I remember laying on the bed and needing water and I was too weak to talk loud enough to wake him. At that point I couldn't even move to buzz the nurse. I felt so so helpless.

I understood in my head that he was overcome with tiredness, but I was still angry. I finally had it out with him when we were driving up to his mothers...for our ds's 1st birthday!!! It all just spilled out.

I think birth is like a trauma - you need to process these feelings.

Well done you though!!!!