Clementine Elise, born on Thursday, weighing 4350g (9lb9oz)
The labour was not great - Clementine got 'stuck' on an 'anterior lip' (huh?) of cervix when I was fully dilated - so her chin liften off her chest and the position was bad... so I couldn?t push and was in unbearable pain for quite a while at that stage. Unfortunately the midwife seemed rather keen on my not having any drugs (even though I had said had used pethidine before and was open to using it again), and even though I was screaming for pethidine she kept saying I didn't need it and that the Baby would be here soon (whereas I could feel that she wouldn?t be!). She did give me some gas and air (which I had said I had used before and did not want to use again), so I used that as there was no other choice really, although I didn't like it. It was all very distressing, at thought I was going to pass out from the pain - much worse than with DC 1 and DC2 (and they were bad enough!). Not much fun.
Eventually I got out of the bath and was pushing, and the MWs couldn't find Clementine?s heart beat, so the room filled with doctors and extra MWs and one doctor gave me a local anaesthetic and was about to do an episiotomy to get her out, when X (my midwife, with whom I had discussed episiotomy and who knew I was HAPPY to have one if that would minimise damage, even though they are not routine here) shouted at me to push, saying "you need to push her out NOW, the sooner we get her out the better"...and so of course I pushed, and Clementine was born in one big push, hence 2nd degree tears and 1.5L blood loss as a blood vessel tore. How I wish I'd waited 5 seconds for the episiotomy! I feel quite cross with the midwife now, in hindsight, foir making me push when the Doctor literally hed the scissors ready to do the episiotomy.
It turned out that Clemmie's heart was just fine (they took an oxygen sample from the placenta which showed she wasn't in distress at all - although of course nobody was to know that then), and so of course we are just so thankful for the wonderful blessing of a healthy daughter...but I feel like the MW was pushing her own agenda not mine, and can't help thinking how much smoother things would have been if I?d been listened to! My main sadnesses are that using the gas and air means that I haven't got very clear memories of the birth, and that I felt isolated from DH and unable to communicate (which is why I didn?t want it in the first place!), and that, because of the blood loss and stitches, I didn't really hold Clemmie until an hour or so after she was born, by which stage she had been washed and dressed...so I didn't really have those first moments with her (save 5 seconds when they put her on my chest after she was born).
Anyway, it seems silly to be dwelling on these things, because we have the best outcome, despite it not being the best experience! Clementine is so beautiful with a little round face, lots of dark hair and a button nose. She is feeding really well, and happily my blood count is not as drastic as it could be so I wont need a transfusion as first thought. Yay! I'm not pregnant anymore...hurrah!