Oscar was born on the 25th April but it's taken me this long to get round to writing my birth announcement.
So, I wanted a VBAC and did I get it? No! Oh well, I kind of knew it wasn't to be. I know my body and after my first labour of three days of 'early labour' and only getting to 2cms then I thought this one probably wasn't going to progress quickly enough either.
However what I wasn't prepared for was the strength of the contractions. Having 'early laboured' last time I thought I knew what I was in for but they were every 5-10 mins for three days and this time it was entirely different.
I woke up at 4am in the morning at 40+6 after having a very vigourous sweep at the hospital to find my waters going with a pop. I needed a poo straight away and went to sit on the loo and within two minutes I was having full on contractions. No build up, no warning just straight into inside ripping contractions lasting up to a minute and two minutes apart.
Well, great I thought, maybe things will be different this time. With contractions this frequent it must be doing something. So I laboured for a few hours with DH and he called MIL to come and collect DS. DH then called the midwive who also thought I was well into established labour with the frequency and intensity I was experiencing. There was a lot of mooing and moaning that's for sure.
I was beginning to think I couldn't deal with it after around four hours so DH filled the pool and I got in. It was bliss and I would highly recommend it to anyone - it really took the pressure off everything and allowed me to get comfortable for the first time in hours.
After a while though even that wasn't helping and I was starting to feel really faint from all the huffing and puffing. I was also getting really tired as the contractions were still coming every two minutes. The midwive suggested doing an examination to find out how far long I was so I agreed.
But you've guessed it, all that hard work and I was only 4-5cms!!! I knew then that after eight hours I had enough and I wanted pain relief. So off to the hospital (a journey I will never forget), a humiliating walk to the labour ward where I was leaking waters all over the floor and stopping every two minutes to moo the place down. I got there and requested an epidural.
Three hours later (yes, really!) and I finally got it. What utter bliss - by this point I'd been in labour for 12 hours and the first thing I said when the contractions stopped was, 'I'm starving'!
From here on in it all goes a bit mental - I had a reaction to the epidural which sent my temperature through the roof to 40 degress, I got the uncontrollable shakes, the babies heart rate was all over the place. So talk of a c section started and I agreed. I know I'd given it my best shot and to finalise the deal, they examined me and I was still only 4-5cms so just not progressing.
We then had to wait another three hours to get into theatre as there was an emergency case which was taking hours, something to do with a major haemorage. (sp?) Then I was next and I was in pieces remembering everything that happened last time. (Em C section, DS to special care, no bonding etc etc)
Everything was going well and baby Oscar was born within five minutes and came out crying. His apgar score was 9 and then 10 so all was well with him. DH cut the cord and brought him over to me. I fell in love immediately and whilst there wasn't skin to skin DH held him next to my cheek and I stroked his face and hands for ages.
So after all that can things calm down now? No, it would seem I can't do birth without drama. The next thing I know the surgeon peeks over the sheet and says there's a problem. She's sliced through my bladder 'by mistake' and I'm going to have to have reconstructive surgery there and then. But the consultant urologist is in theatre so he may be a while.
Luckily they can do all of this without knocking me out but I have to say lying on the slab with all your insides open isn't a good place to be. I was doing really well with keeping calm and just focusing on my gorgeous boy and being grateful that I was actually bonding with him and having that all important time straight after the birth which I didn't get last time.
Eventually the consultant arrived and started putting my bladder back together. It transpires that the surgeon had literally cut the top of my bladder off so it wasn't just a little nick with the scalpel.
Three hours later and I finally got out of theatre and get to breast feed Oscar. Despite everything (including five days in hospital and ten days wearing a catheter) I would do it all again to have him here with me.
Also I don't regret trying for a VBAC or ending up with a C-section. To be honest it went exactly how I thought it would (apart from the bladder injury of course). I wanted to give a VBAC a go but I just had a feeling that I wouldn't progress. I know it's early doors but I don't think I'm going to be left with any feelings of disappointment or trauma from my experience, unlike last time. I'm happy with the way things turned out and just having a healthy baby is enough. It really doesn't matter how he got here.
I've been blessed so far with a very well behaved baby who only wakes once in the night for a feed. Oh and he was ten pounds just like DS1 so it's a damn good job I didn't try and push him out!