Unsure who the dad is

[BreezyPearlSnail]

Hi, so I already feel bad enough for this myself so please don’t judge or find the time for hate.
i was with my ideal partner for over a year we broke up in march, anyway straight to the point or ill courage my self out of posting this

me and my now ex partner at the time had sex on 1st of march anyway long story short he kept showing up for me being there for me despite the break up (we broke up because I was suffering with depression) I went to a house party on the 22nd of march where I got absolutely drunk and had sex with some random man there I’d never met, I feel absolutely awful and hated myself

anyway I came on my period on the 7th of march I only bled for 4-5 days what isn’t normal for me.

anyway I’m now showing as 3+ plus weeks pregnant on a clear blue (first done 8th of april) now I’ve found the random bloke on Facebook via a friends in common I told him and he told me to get rid of it and to never contact him again I’ve tried working it out and hoping it’s my ex partners

Scan today said 5wks 5 days pregnant I’m losing my mind

Its from the party. Basically your 2 weeks pregnant from before your pregnant, makes no sense i know.

Do you want to have this baby?

You will not have the support of either of the men involved. So if you do, you will be a single parent.

As always - your decision, you dont need to ask permission from anyone

Scan today said 5wks 5 days pregnant I’m losing my mind

That makes it the ONS. So, you need to base decision either way on that.

So it’s the random bloke’s baby. Unfortunately for him, he doesn’t get to choose what you do with your body—he had his own choice re: his own body, ie, wearing a condom, not ejaculating inside you, or getting a vasectomy. Like it or not, he is financially responsible via CMS once the DNA confirms it’s his child.

Knowing that you would be a single parent with limited financial support from someone who is giving deadbeat dad vibes, what do YOU want to do?

Sorry OP but there is no chance the father is your ex.

5 weeks 5 days means you got pregnant around 21st March.

If you had got pregnant around 1st March you would be about 9 weeks pregnant by now.

Scans are very accurate at dating pregnancies in the first trimester and you have three weeks between when you had sex with your ex and when you had sex with the other guy.

I'm afraid there is no doubt about it.

My ex has said he’ll stand by me, I honestly feel so heart broken that I’ve caused this and can’t find it in myself to terminate

I can’t get rid of it due to past truma my ex has said he’ll stick by me I feel so heart broken how I’ve done this after everything

Don't beat yourself up about it. These things happen. (A lot.)

Is he your ex or are you back together?

Hey OP, just running all your information through a calculator and this is what it says. Using today’s date, and the ultrasound saying 5w5days.

Most probable conception dates: Mar 19, 2025 - Mar 23, 2025
Most probable dates of sexual intercourse that led to the pregnancy: Mar 16, 2025 - Mar 23, 2025.

Using the information from this calculator I would say the one night stand is the father, I know that must be hard to accept.

I'm sorry you are going through this. You mentioned that you suffer from depression. How will you deal if the ex changes his mind about sticking by you and a baby that isn't his?

Absolutely this! Get some proper info.

His still my ex but I want to work things out with him

The early scan today said I’m 5ams 5days pregnant though?

I haven’t thought of that yet, but will deal with it myself I guess but he is honestly worth his weight in gold, just wish I didn’t mess this up I was hurting at the time

We all make mistakes. I have had an early abortion (husbands baby but absolutely wrong time after recently having baby number 2). I don’t regret it. One of the ladies was so understanding and empathetic in BPAS who said it’s like taking the morning after pill just slightly too late. It’s just cells at this stage.

Having read your posts it sounds like you’re in a vulnerable position mentally right now and that a baby really wouldn’t be the right thing for you. I know you said your ex will support but he has no legal obligation to this future baby and could back out any moment.

if I were in your position I would contact BPAs to get the ball rolling. You don’t have to take it but at least you get the ball rolling while you’re so early on. I personally would go ahead with the abortion, try to make things work with the ex and after some time to ensure you’re stable together then try for a baby.

good luck xx

No judgement here but it's quite clear it's the one night stand that's the dad. You had sex right around when your ovulation would have been ans you'd had a period after sex with your ex