When to announce

[AHBM2020]

What's an acceptable time in your opinion to announce a pregnancy to your immediate family? (Parents, siblings)

Whenever you want to. 5 weeks, 20 weeks, anywhere in between.

There's no rule.

There is no “acceptable” there is just what works best for you.

I told my close family the day I found out. I knew if anything was to go wrong with the pregnancy then I’d want/need their support so it made sense for me to tell them so that they could be there for me throughout.

I don't think any time is unacceptable.

I was horrifically sick just before I peed on the stick and didn't stop being sick until I gave birth. The jig was immediately up.

When ever you want!

As we had previous loss we wanted to be sure all is ok before we told most of the people. Only told my family and few of my friends while pregnant and rest of people found out after birth.

Whenever you want to, its really dependant on your, them and your relationship.

DH isn't planning to tell his parents at all this time.

I understand there's no rules, I was just curious on when other people were comfortable enough to announce and their opinions on a good time :) I would like to tell my immediate family, I just don't want people judging me for telling them too early as I'm 5 weeks!

Whenever you like (as long as it’s not at someone else’s wedding or 30th birthday or whatever). People often wait until 12 weeks as the miscarriage risk is much lower after that, so consider whether you’d be ok with having to explain a loss if it happened. Sorry to be a downer. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Welcome to parenthood! You'll be judged for everything now.

I told my mum as soon as I had a positive test (about half an hour after I told my husband). We then told my dad and husband’s parents a week later.

Siblings and work about 8 weeks, everyone else after 13 week scan.

If you want to tell them, tell them. You can’t control anybody else’s response to that.

Only DH, my midwife and my line manager knew till I was 19 weeks, because that suited me.

Why would anyone judge you? I don't get the keeping it secret for weeks business but I don't judge anyone for it.

@DappledThings I've seen a few people judge mothers for announcing before 12 weeks, as it was too early and a risk of loss. But I'm quickly learning mothers will get judged for everything anyway :)

Judging or just advising?

I told plenty of people before 12 weeks because I was fine with talking about miscarriage (which I did go on to have the first time) and it didn't change my attitude to telling the next time.

Depends what you mean by announcing as well. I've never announced a pregnancy with any mass update or social media post. I've just told people. Some people use "announce" to mean any information given to anyone about a pregnancy, some use it to only mean an actual announcement, like a speech at a party or a Facebook post to hundreds.

But as it's family, you may need their support if there is a loss. Not telling is part of the conspiracy of silence around miscarriage. Also I would tell work immediately so you're protected from unfair dismissal.

First and second 10-12 weeks. Just personal as we didn't want to share the news (In laws live abroad and my parents we only see every 6-10 weeks)
Third 6-8 weeks once I had a clear viable scan - I had a series of losses so wanted family support with my last.

We didn't announce publicly (friends/work bar HR) with our last until like 28 weeks (I hid at home all the time as I use huge)

We told close friends straight away. We told family after my 20 week scans.

@MyrtleStrumpet that is one of the reasons I want to tell my family soon, if I did miscarry I would like the support of my family

Personally I think after the 12 week scan

I've had 7 pregnancies and I've told people at different times. I think if I had another baby I would tell everyone fairly soon but not tell anyone the dates of scans etc. We had a problem diagnosed at our 20 week scan and the worst part was family ringing up wanting to know if it was a boy or a girl while we were trying to get our heads round all the information we'd been given etc.

Told my mum day we found out for both.

Siblings a week or so later.

Best friend around 6 weeks.

My manager around 6-7 weeks.

Figured these are all people I would want to know if something went wrong so I was happy to tell them early.

Everyone else, when I could no longer hide my bump!

Aww congrats ❤️ but why would your immediate family judge you? I’d say family anytime, but anyone else after 12 weeks is best x

after 12 weeks to make it public.
I would say tell anybody who who would be happy to also let know if something not so nice happened. The rest of the world, tell after 12 week scan. I had a couple of early miscarriages so we only told our parents, my close work colleagues (who would have guessed anyway 🤣) after the 1st pregnancy.