Help. Announcing pregnancy to 19 & 17 year old daughter

[MrsWatterson]

I am currently pregnant with my 4th child. I have 19/17 & 9 year old daughters who I would love to do a cute announcement for. I am really nervous about telling the older ones. I know my little one will be absolutely buzzing to be a big sister. What did you do to announce your expecting? I've never done anything like this before but would love the two older ones to be like, woahhh!!! I know they definitely won't be expecting it and I don't know how they will take it 😂.

Any help/ appreciated a very nervous mum.🤣😆.

Should say. I'm currently 15 weeks with scan this coming Thursday. 🤰🥹

I would just sit down and have a conversation with them. At their age I think it may be quite the news for them to deal with.

I think they will probably react like “woahhh!!” however you announce it. Its going to be a shock.

If you think they're going to be really shocked, you need to mitigate this by not doing any big, crazy announcement. Sit down and tell them and allow plenty of time to discuss everything.

I would give the older ones a low key announcement. You can't put an expectation upon them to react with delight or make it an "event". They might well be shocked, even disgusted, as a first reaction and you don't want that recorded for posterity. If they are excited and happy, maybe you could make it special by roping them in on planning how to tell the 9 year old.

My mum had a baby when I was 17 and as far as I recall she just told us at dinner! I can’t understand posters suggesting they’d be shocked and disgusted!! Possibly a bit surprised with the age gap but it’s obviously not without precedent given the gap between the 9 and 17.
congratulations!

My mum announced a surprise pregnancy with her long-term partner (not my dad) when I was 18 and it was a huge shock. I was happy for her but it was a massive change in the family dynamic at a time when I was about to leave home, so I couldn't help but feel a little like I was being replaced. And of course babies are hugely demanding of time and energy so your elder children may worry that you won't have time for them anymore - they will still need you but in a different way. So I don't have any real suggestions for the announcement itself, but once the dust has settled I'd give them the chance to air any worries they might have and hopefully you can provide reassurance.

Love this idea ❤️

I would take them out for coffee individually, oldest first, somewhere quiet. Be prepared for any reaction. I would just explain that you want them to feel free to say whatever they are feeling and they're welcome to ask you anything.

Thank you so much. I know my eldest daughter will be amazing. She has already left home and on her own in a secure job working with children & is very independent. Takes her little sister (9year old) for days out and sleepovers etc. I just don't know how she's going to react to another baby. Emotionally I genuinely thing she will be excited and emotional. My 17 year old has left home for university and is home every few weeks /holidays very tough and we're still adjusting at home without her around all the time. She will be like omg 🤣. Im 5 years from 40 so im still youngish i guess. I would just like to do something nice for them I guess instead of just telling them if that makes sense? I do love the idea of them being involved with telling their younger sibling who's 9. The girls have a very close relationship along with myself and their stepdad. I'm still in shock at myself being able to keep it a secret this long.

Do not tell them in front of anyone, especially not your 9 yr old. Tell them privately and quiety and let them digest it.

This

And then ask them to help with announcement to 9 year old who if she is really going to be thrilled you could perhaps get a "big sister" bracelet for or something and perhaps a copy of scan photo in a congrats card ?

Congrats to you all

Hello, I've just joined Mumsnet, due to have my first baby just after Christmas.