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So Blessed but feeling stressed. Pregnancy, IVF and my sister.

4 replies

BabyKing20 · 16/06/2023 22:21

Hi all,

I am looking for some help and/or advice on how to handle a situation with my sister. I hope this is not triggering for anybody I mean no harm or upset at all. (Topics: pregnancy, IVF)

I just found out I’m pregnant, and as a woman with PCOS I am really thrilled and feel very very lucky! But..My sister who I am very close to has been on her IVF journey now for 4 years, (she has a little boy (5) who was conceived naturally but has had a really tough time trying since).

We have discussed future pregnancies before, she knows I want a baby and she made me promise that if I was to ever fall pregnant, the minute I found out that I would tell her, I guess so she would be able to process it and prepare herself on her own terms.

The problem however is, she is in the middle of an IVF round right now. I am 6 weeks today. She will be 4 more weeks before she knows if this round has been successful or not.

I’m so torn on what to do, I want to be honest with her and tell her yesterday but I would never ever want to jeopardise her current round of IVF or for her to even feel one minute of sadness at this time. I want to protect her during this process. But then the alternative, what if I wait to tell her, and this IVF round is unsuccessful. It’s double the heartbreak and I just don’t know what will be worse - What would you do??

I welcome any thoughts or opinions, thank you so much in advance.

OP posts:
Saschka · 16/06/2023 22:26

Tell her before the IVF round is over. During the 2 weeks wait is probably the best time.

”My IVF round hasn’t worked” ”Ah shame, well guess what, your sister’s pregnant” Is the absolute worst option here. Whatever you do, make sure she knows you are pregnant before she knows she isn’t.

Saschka · 16/06/2023 22:26

(I know you wouldn’t be that crass, but that is the situation you are most trying to avoid)

continentallentil · 16/06/2023 22:28

Well, she doesn’t get to tell you when to share your pregnancy news. as PP says beginning of the wait time is best.

TaraRhu · 16/06/2023 22:32

You are a very kind sister. Please try to remember that nothing you say will jeopardise her ivf. It will either work or won't. Your dusters womb doesn't know if her brain is happy or sad. So I'd tell her.

Wishing you both the best xx

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