In brief - Tana Naqwa was born at 1:42am on Friday 11th Jan, weighing 3.33 kgs (I think that's 7lbs6), with apgars of 9 and 10. Tana is the source of the Nile and represents new beginnings. Naqwa means abundance and purity.
Ok, here goes, warning: v long birth story
My contractions (or pressure waves / pws according to my hypnosis course - apparently has more positive connotations!) began on Tuesday 8th January at 3am, and were strong enough to wake me up. I went to the bathroom, put on my hypnotic childbirth cd, and happily went back to sleep, feeling excited and strong, and wanting to meet our baby soon. I woke DH at 6am, as the pws were getting stronger, and he timed them for me. They were now about 20 seconds long, and 10 minutes apart. He stayed home from work, and encouraged me through each pw, and we spent most of the day in bed - I was trying to rest as much as possible, and save my energy. At 8pm, we called the hospital, and their labour suite was full, which meant I would have to go to a different hospital or hang on longer at home. I decided I'd rather wait at home instead of going to an unfamiliar hospital. My pws were now about 7 minutes apart, and the hospital asked me to come in when they were 3-4 minutes apart. I stayed on my birth ball for most of the time, and kept the hypnotic childbirth cds going. I did a couple of fear release sessions, hoping it would speed things up, and DH stayed awake with me, encouraging me and making sure I was eating and drinking regularly.
I started to worry that things weren't progressing, and posted on MN - thanks for the messages of support, I really needed them!!
This went on until 9pm on Wednesday, by which time the pws were intense and over 2 minutes long. I was getting a bit fed up of being at home, and didn't want to make the drive to hospital in transition, so we decided to go into hospital. I checked into labour suite at 10pm (with chocolate cake for the midwives ), and they said I was 3cm dilated, and my cervix was thin and long. I agreed to a membrane sweep to speed things up, as I was starting to get really tired. I then spent the next few hours on the birthing ball, and on the beanbag, with my hypnosis CDs on in the background. The midwives were all so on-board with the hypnotic childbirth philosophy, and very respectful of my birth plan. I was offered an aromatherapy massage, which was so wonderful - it really helped me feel relaxed and revitalised.
I was very much in my own ?zone, and DH was wonderful with reminding me to use my hypnosis cues and stay focussed and I kept chanting my cues and swaying to each pressure wave. One of the doctors came by on his rounds and saw me with my arms around DH, rocking away, and thought it was just great we were dancing through the pws! What really helped me focus was blowing out each breath through loose 'horsy' lips, as it kept me from tensing up.
By 1pm on Wednesday, my cervix was a stretchy 3-4cm, and I was so disappointed that 15 hours of active labour had resulted in half a centimetre of dilation. I was finding it increasingly hard to keep any food or drink down, as I kept vomiting, and my urine was very high in ketones, which meant my body was going into starvation mode. DH was so great about making sure I was cleaned up and dry and comfortable, and keeping me focused, even after I was being sick.
Baby was doing wonderfully though - nice and steady heartbeat. I agreed to have my waters broken, and to have a saline IV put in to help with the dehydration. After 4 pints of saline, and several hours later, my ketone levels were still increasing, and my dilation was no further along. My energy levels were now running pretty low - I had been in active labour for over 15 hours, and in latent labour for about 42 hours previously, and I felt it was time to agree to syntocinon to help my pws be more effective. Using syntocinon was one of my biggest fears, as I knew it made pws much more intense, and I was unsure I would be able to cope with any increase in intensity, as I was just so tired - I hadn't eaten or slept in what felt like forever.
I decided I would like some pain relief, to take the edge off the syntocinon, and opted for gas and air. This was the one (minor) regret I have about my birthing experience. Instinct told me the baby was in an awkward position, and that was the reason things were going so slowly, and that I should go for the epidural and really sleep, and gather some energy for the pushing stage. Rational thought said to try the gas and air first, and then see if I needed something stronger. The gas and air made me feel weirdly floaty, and didn't take sensations away, just made me feel very nauseated and out of control. I really hated it, and it made the vomiting worse! It also didn?t help that I needed to inhale it before a pw began, and could never get the timing right, which meant that I felt pain at the beginning of each pw, as I wasn?t using my hypnosis, and ended each pw feeling disorientated and unable to brace myself for the next one. DH tried it out as he had a headache (he was just as sleep starved as I was), and it couldn't even help with that!
I really preferred not having the gas and air, as I felt totally able to cope with only my hypnosis cd going on in the background.
I decided it was time to look at my other options for pain relief, and was offered pethidine, which I refused because the side effects include vomiting (which I had already done enough of!!), and opted for the epidural, because syntocinon needed to be increased in dose - contractions still not leading to 'progress'. All this time, the baby was happy, and my blood pressure fine. It was so funny that all the midwives kept saying 'your baby is happy', as one of my hypnosis visualisations were of a 'healthy, happy baby', and I kept repeating this in my head in the weeks preceding my birthing time (hyno-speak for 'labour').
The epidural was put in on Thursday afternoon, and I finally had a snooze (hadn't slept for 3 days). The syntocinon was finally doing its job, and by 10:30pm, I was fully dilated, and allowed to start pushing at 11:30pm. Unfortunately, I had to do 'purple pushing' as I couldn?t feel pressure waves, and had to rely on the midwife telling me when they were beginning. By 1am, I was still pushing for all I was worth, and the midwife was encouraging me, but it was clear that the baby was not moving past a certain point - although the head was visible with lots of black hair (according to DH). The Dr was called in, and said it would have to be forceps - baby was still doing fine but it was clear that further pushing wasn't going to lead anywhere. He was so supportive though, and said that he was going to do everything in his power to ensure I had a vaginal birth, as I had worked so hard for it! And we weren't going to move to theatre, as I was doing fine in my room with the hypnosis on in the background.
So, the forceps came out, and I had to have an episiotomy as well, which I had been so keen to avoid. I told DH I didn't want to see the forceps, so he dampened a flannel with cool water and put it over my eyes. This felt great, and the darkness really helped me focus on my 'special place' and I was talking to baby and reassuring her that we were both safe.
I think poor DH had a real shock when he saw the forceps, although I had warned him they might be a bit daunting. I had the weirdest sensation when the forceps were in me, and it felt like my pelvis was being clicked out of the way, it wasn?t painful, just really strange, and made me throw up (yet again!).
Finally, our baby was out, and they plonked her onto my belly. I reached up to pull the flannel off my eyes, so I could see her, but DH kept his hand over my eyes, and I couldn't budge him - I kept saying 'let me see, let me see!!!', and then went really silent when I realised no-one was saying anything and I couldn't hear her crying. My heart stopped for a few seconds, then I heard her making little noises, and started asking DH if we had a girl or boy, as we hadn't found out in advance. He was really quiet, and the midwife kept prompting him, and he eventually told me we'd had a little girl. He was just so busy staring at her, that I don't think he could hear us!
The midwife started cleaning her up and weighing her at one end of the room, and we found out why the labour was so long - she'd had the cord so tightly wrapped around her neck, the doctors couldn't unwind it, and ended up cutting it off (this was when DH had covered my eyes) and there was also a true knot in the cord, as well as the fact that she was trying to come out looking upwards!! DH cut the bit of cord that wasn't around her neck, and her apgars were 9 and 10.
I finally got to hold her, when DH let her go, and she was so perfect and tiny -definitely the most beautiful baby that ever existed! Welcome to the world, my little miracle baby, I am sure things could have gone very differently. DH was my rock throughout, and with him and baby Tana, we overcame our first big challenge as a family.
It didn't go according to my birth plan, but I am just so proud of myself! I had a really long talk with one of the midwives, who was really concerned that I shouldn't feel I've failed in any way because it wasn't the completely natural birthing experience I had hoped - and I don't at all! in fact, I still feel like I could leap mountains in a single bound
The truth is, we had to adapt to the circumstances, and I think I did that really well - always staying practical and not losing sight of the goal - a happy healthy baby.