Situation with my HoD about my pregnancy

[BelJos]

Hello everyone,

I am a secondary school teacher, I am 16+2 pregnant, and I have a situation at school my my HoD:
Right when I found out I was pregnant, back in May, I decided to tell her -just her- as I didn't know back then if I was going to have bad nausea and if I was going to be missing school some days because if this. Her reaction was not exactly what I was expecting.... She asked me when was I going to be due, if I told someone at school already; she asked me not to tell anyone yet as they would start saying how convenient was for me to get pregnant now that I have been promoted. She said that the best thing to do was to start telling people, including the head teacher, only when I started showing.

Well, the time has come. We are back at school after the summer holiday and I am showing already. When she saw me the first day, she asked me again if anybody else knew. When I said no, she said: Oh good, keep it like that. Don't say anything yet to anyone, because you don't want the SLT to change your timetable, plus in the department, they will start talking. Wait until we come back from half term -beginning of November.

My question now is: can she actually do this? Is this legal? Don't have I the right to tell people, including the head teacher, when I think it is more convenient?
I forgot to say that she is also a union rep, which makes everything even more shocking...
Please, if anyone could give me some advice on what to do? It would be much appreciated.

Thank you very much,

[darlingsweetpea]

You need to tell your employer by 20 weeks or there about to be entitled to maternity pay. I'd tell people now personally.

[decoratedstandardlamp]

What's her ulterior motive fo you think?

[GingerAndTheBiscuits]

You have to tell your employer by 15 weeks before your due date, so the beginning of November would be the best time. Maybe she knows other pregnant staff have been treated badly once they’ve announced pregnancies and is looking out for you? Is she normally a bit odd?

[GingerAndTheBiscuits]

Sorry, didn’t meant to say the best time! I meant the latest time!

[FelicityPike]

Of course you can tell whoever you want to.
She clearly has a “plan” for something brewing in her own head.

[Ughmaybenot]

You have to tell them 15 weeks before your due date, so she’s not entirely wrong in what she’s telling you, and you did tell her very early in your pregnancy.
It depends somewhat on what she is usually like. Is she usually nice and helpful or is she a conniving ratbag? If the former, she’s likely trying to help you based on past experience, if the latter, she may well be up to something.

[CraftyGin]

You need time off for appointments, so of course the head needs to know.

[UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme]

If she's the union rep she could be well intentioned and trying to genuinely give good advice, but obviously it is only advice, she can't actually instruct you not to inform leadership or just tell colleagues.

I was a secondary school teacher when expecting my first child and both my (male) HoD and male head were very unpleasant and unhelpful "off the record" in informal conversation in the corridors or whatever, whilst treading very carefully in scheduled meetings on the subject and in writing. Some secondary school leadership teams take the stance that teaches owe full, undiluted loyalty to the school and that women who get pregnant betray themselves as not committed - really! I was told informally and off the record that I should drop the request to return part time after dc1 was born and commit fully to teaching full time, or stay at home and commit to being a mother! No witnesses to this barbed little comment while I was on corridor patrol one lunch time at 7 months pregnant though...

Are there many women with preschool children on staff? Many part time teachers? Is the school leadership invested in staff well being and work life balance? I only noticed once pregnant myself that there were several male teachers with babies and toddlers on staff but the only women who'd had babies during my time at the school hadn't returned - there were only childless women teachers and mothers of secondary aged or adult children... Probably not a coincidence!

On the other hand, especially with covid, you need a risk assessment for pregnancy as you may need some reasonable adjustments, time off for maternity care/ scans or similar, and you do need to notify your employer in time for maternity pay, and for cover to be arranged.

Good luck

[LegendaryReady]

Oh. If I was the head, I'd be very disappointed to hear now, when you could have told me before timetables were written!

I wonder if she was concerned she'd be asked to do more teaching as part of your cover of they knew in time?

[Heyha]

Well, she's not actually directed you to do anything, has she? It's not a question of legality. Sounds like she's given you advice dressed up as instructions and you're going along with it. Why she's advised you like that might be well-intentioned, might not, but seems odd to me without knowing the political landscape of your school.

You're your own person, do what you think is best. I wouldn't be working in a school while secretly pregnant at any point but especially not the way this term is likely to go on with covid and other bugs etc. Plus you will start needing more time off for appointments before too long so you will have to tell someone else. I can't see any benefit in keeping it to yourself now tbh, and if that upsets your HoD then so be it.

[UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme]

LegendaryReady if the HoD is genuinely well intentioned and acting with her union rep hat on, her advice might have been based on exactly that - when I returned part time after dc1 was born I had almost a "joke" timetable composed entirely of bottom sets and one notorious (behaviour wise) year nine middle set... In the end I handed in my notice and only worked out the notice period - that was never my plan, but the attitude of senior management to a female teacher wanting a work life balance after having a baby was horrendous.

[NeverDropYourMooncup]

It sounds like she may have knowledge of other women being treated badly once they were known to be pregnant.

Do you know of many previous staff who have kept the 'best classes', gone on really good CPD with the aim of progressing further, had adaptations such as being moved to more accessible classrooms if their usual ones are harder to get to, and then returned on a basis that suits their circumstances and gone on to progress as normal after Maternity leave? Or do they get all the really challenging classes with the same expectation to get them all to levels they aren't in a position to attain, have to struggle up stairs and all across site between lessons, have to show up to all the evening events including on their non working days with no access to seating and then leave very quickly after they return from ML - if they come back at all?


Some schools are great and their staff continue their careers practically unaffected by pregnancy and motherhood - and some make it absolutely intolerable for their staff with the result that nobody ever stays beyond the second term after returning. Your rep/HoD will know how women are usually treated more than you will.


I'd try and hold out until it becomes necessary to notify them.

[BelJos]

Thank you very much everyone for your answers.

She is not a bad woman -all the time-, and sometimes she try to help you; but most of the time she only looks out for herself and she always covers her back.

A bit after I told her about my pregnancy, she started organising the timetables with some members of the SLT for this year. She reduced my teaching hours -which I attributed to my new position as KS3 coordinator in the department- and now I realised that I have a terrible Y11 and a very bottom set Y10. I don't want to think badly about all this but it is being difficult not to!

I know there is another woman on maternity leave. She was pregnant during the last lockdown and she never came back to school, so I don't really know how everything was for her...

[jadeypies]

Hi, I'm also a secondary school teacher and I'm currently 6+2. I told my HoD and Headteacher already as my last pregnancy ended in an early miscarriage which actually started while I was in school and I didn't want this to happen again. I'll tell the rest of my department after my 12 week scan.
OP you need to do what's right for you, not your HoD and don't forget you need to sort out your mat leave xx

[Curioushorse]

Only you can judge, to be honest. Schools are different from other workplaces- especially secondary, because of the exam classes. I've been pregnant in two different schools. In one I told them before twelve weeks, because I was so sick, but also because I knew timetable considerations would be an issue. But in the other school I waited, officially, until 20 weeks.

They have to follow all the guidelines- and will (if it's the state sector. Private can be weird). On that basis it depends whether you think you need to say anything or not.