Announcing pregnancy at xmas

[M24L]

I found out I was pregnant early November, due to the dating of my last period we weren't sure how far along we were. Last proper period was September but there was 3 days of light bleeding in October (which I believed to have been implantation bleeding).

The midwife put me down as being 12 weeks so I had my 12 week booking scan last week, during the scan they confirmed I am between 8-9 weeks with a due date of 26th July to the 31st of July.

This little one will be my second as I already have DD who is 8. All seemed well at the scan, babys heartbeat was beating healthy and we got 2 scan photos to take home.

Since we found out we both decided that our DD should be first to know and I said we wouldnt be telling her until after the 12 week scan but now I feel like I'm stuck in a rut and not sure what to do.

I dont get to see my mum often and really wanted to say to her face to face so the only option for this would be Christmas eve as the next time I see her after that will be around the 3rd week in February by which I will be around 17 weeks. On Xmas eve I will roughly be around 9 weeks and 3 days. I really wanted DD to be a part of breaking the news but im now worried is 9 weeks to early to be telling DD?

We are not planning on telling anyone else until after the 12 week mark so it would only be my mum meaning also that if we tell DD and allow her to break the news to her grandmother it also means we have to ask her to try and keep it to herself until the next scan which is the 18th of January.

I have had really bad sickness this time around, unable to eat much and just feeling really weak so I feel like I'm spending most of my time in bed when I'm home from work, my DD has also started picking up that mummys not so well and she has been a great little helper with asking if I need water etc while I'm hugging the toilet bowl so I know shes aware that there's something going on. Part of me thinks that if she knows it will make more sense to her but im just really worried that 9 weeks isn't the best time.

Any help would be appreciated.

I think 9 weeks is fine to tell your daughter & mother. Only 3 more weeks then you can share the happy news more widely... Good luck!

@Dumpling21 I was worried as I know things can still go wrong but I really want my little one to be a big part of sharing the news. I've got her a little scratch card that says she has a super important job and wrote her a little poem inside it so I'm planning on giving her it at some point today which will give her a day before she gets the share the news with her gran so its not totally overwhelming for her having it all happen on the one day.

I'm sort of toying with the idea of keeping it to myself as long as possible but my little girl and mum are 2 of the most important people in my life so I'm excited to share the news with them

@M24L I'm so happy to hear that. I love the idea of a poem too, sounds beautiful 💖

I don't think I would tell dd, but I would tell your mum. I miscarried the day before my 12 week scan, I had already told my parents, which was really good as I had the support I needed, but I don't think I could face telling a child.
Hope all goes well for you.

@Dumpling21 thank you ❣

@LunaLoveFood im so sorry to hear that 😭 i hope you ok?
this is my biggest worry and I read a few posts on here basically saying tell those who you would want to know if the worst happened. That would be my mum and I understand it would be a lot for my DD to understand if it was to happen and I had to tell her but I also think it would be a worry for her if all of a sudden mummy wasn't well/crying etc I would of course try my hardest to hide my emotions from DD but sometimes it doesn't always work like that and even if im feeling a bit under the weather my DD seems to sense it from me straight away so I think she would be able to sense something was up.

I'm good now thanks, it happened a few years ago. I think it didn't help that I had an early scan at about 7 weeks and everything was fine with heartbeat etc so was a big shock.
But reading your reply, I'm not sure what I would do in your position as your dd is old enough to know something isn't quite right (and you don't want her worrying that you have covid or something if you tell her you're not well.)

I'd also tell my mum but not my DD at this stage... Mainly because at her age I'd want to protect her from any miscarriage so wouldn't tell her till 12 weeks when risk is a lot lower. I don't think they'd understand or be less worried..