I don't know how to tell my family that I'm pregnant?

[Caketin4]

I’m roughly 8 weeks pregnant and am defo keeping the baby, but I can’t tell my family. My mum is currently having a relapse due to her MS and my sister is also going through a serious illness. I’m 25, been with my partner for 3 years and he’s happy about the baby. I live with my mum however (she needs my support) but I feel like I’m never going to be able to tell my family as they will say I’m making matters worse and are the sort that don’t forgive easily. What should I do? The stress is really getting to me. She even said in conversation that with everything happening if I got pregnant she would expect me to have an abortion (even though she’s always been against that) and it hurts that she said that. As it currently stands I am trying to hide my pregnancy as long as possible, but I know that this will become near impossible and I need to make preparations. Thanks for any advice x

[LizzieBlackwell]

I think, and I’m saying this kindly, you need to grow up a bit. Your 25 years old and in a committed relationship. It’s time you moved out and got your own home.

Your family don’t sound great tbh, they are emotionally blackmailing you.

Time to move out and focus on your new family.

Can you stay with your boyfriend?

[LovingLola]

Move out. You are an adult and your pregnancy is absolutely none of your mother’s business.

[84claire84]

You need to create your own life and step away from these emotional abusers to protect yourself and your precious little baby.

You can do this. Xx

[UsernameNotValid]

There's nothing for your family to forgive, you are an adult and should be able to make your own decisions and live your life how you want to!

Congratulations on your pregnancy, please don't let their opinions drag you down. Does your mum need full support? If so could you look into getting a carer to help where you can't - there's no shame in asking for help and sharing the responsibility with others.

If I were you I'd speak to your partner about getting a home sorted for the 3 of you to settle into and give you some distance from the negativity.

[Caketin4]

Thank you for the reply, we are currently saving for a deposit for our own house, which will hopefully be sorted in a few months. I moved back into my mums to help her when she's unwell and help with the bills, shopping etc. My boyfriend is also living with his family so neither of us could move in with the other at the moment. My family is very controlling, especially my mum, but she is unwell so I know she can't help it.

[emptyplinth]

"Mum, I have some really happy news. I'm pregnant. Due date is X and I'll be moving out on x date."

That's how.
I agree with pp's, you need to start acting like a grown-up.

This is your life, take ownership of it and start to live it.

[Chloemol]

Yes your mum can help being controlling. She is choosing to be that way, and you are enabling her by putting up with it

Why not find somewhere to rent with your boyfriend? Then move out. You may not be able to save as much for a deposit, but it gives you a chance to get set up before the baby, and get your mother sorted as you can’t be expected to continue to look after her and a baby

As others have said you are 25. Time to take control

[Caketin4]

Thank you everyone for the replies I really appreciate it. I agree I need to grow up and move out. I now work 50+ hours a week in order to save and my boyfriend has two jobs now so that we can speed up the process of moving.

When I was younger my mum had one of these relapses and it took me 4 years to help her to walk and talk again (eventually she went back to work and everything was normal). Now another one is starting and I just don't want to cause her any stress that could effect her health.

[Catsup]

But she already knows you're moving out in a few months anyway? So if you're pregnant it makes zero difference as you'll not be living in her house with the baby? Beyond those technicalities she's got no say on the matter at all. And the only opinion she would be entitled to is stating you and the baby couldn't reside in her house. Whether she's happy about the pregnancy or not is neither here nor there. You can't live your life to suit someone else's.