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When to tell employer

3 replies

Vicky858 · 07/01/2020 07:36

Hi Guys,

Wondering if I could get some advice. My husband and I have just started trying for a baby (yesterday started not using contraception ) At the same time my boss offered me a lot more responsibility at work - somewhat of a promotion.Given it’s our first, we are starting a little later ( I am 34 ), and I have endometriosis which might make conceiving difficult i realise it might take some time. Question is - do I tell my boss about our intentions ? I know it is a private matter, but the promotion will be a lot extra work (and stress) and there could be the possibility of having to pull out if it interferes with my pregnancy. At the same time I don t want to bypass the opportunity not knowing how long things will take. ( I am also close to my boss and feel like I am deceiving him a bit..). Maybe I am not being selfish enough! Any advice appreciated 🙂

OP posts:
Chirpychirpy3 · 07/01/2020 07:42

No I wouldn’t tell them. It took me 3 years and a round of ivf to conceive. You just never know how long these things will take so best not to put the rest of your life on hold. Good luck.

KittyMarmalade · 07/01/2020 07:49

Gosh no, don't tell them til you're convincingly pregnant (12 weeks). Unless you have to for medical reasons of course.
It could take years to get that far. Do NOT add to your "getting pregnant" stress by everyone in the office knowing that you're trying for it 😂

ablisha · 08/01/2020 20:51

This was me the week before christmas! I spoke to a colleague about it and decided it would stress me out too much not to tell my boss (Headteacher as I am a secondary teacher).

I explained that I really wanted the opportunity but wanted to be open and honest about my DH and my plans and I had to put my DH first. I also did explain that having never tried before, I didn't even know if we would be lucky enough to conceive.

My boss couldn't have been more understanding and I felt sooo much happier about the promotion once I told him. At no point did he seem to want to retract his offer, and although I know legally he couldn't, I honestly believed him when he said if it got to 9 months down the line and I was off on Mat leave, that would be absolutely fine.

I do hope you have an employer who is understanding too - but even if it hadn't of gone so positively for me, I know it would have still been a huge weight off my mind telling him.

I hope that helps!

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