Finally got around to posting birth story after trying to juggle two children for the last four weeks - how do people do it!
Hope Sunshine was born on 24th June at home in a birth pool, weighing 7lb 8oz
4 days before my due date I woke up with contractions that were slightly painful and coming every 10 minutes. I had had tightenings on and off for the past week or so, but this was different because it was very regular, and more painful. So I thought, ?This must be it?. Anyway I went about my normal day, and they gradually got more painful, but whatever I did they still stayed at 10 minutes apart. I told DH and we did the last minute things that we hadn?t done yet, I went for a walk to try and speed it up, but they still stayed at 10 mins. Later on in the afternoon, I went for another walk, and they increased to 6 mins apart. At that point I rang the hospital so they would know I was there, because we live out ?in the boonies? as DH would put it, and it might take them a while to get here. I spoke to the MW and we agreed for me to ring back when it was one contraction in 5 mins. A bit later it was, so I rang back. At that point I was still doing stuff, but having to head for the exercise ball and make an effort to relax for every contraction. So she said she would come out after she?d finished dinner.
She came and we chatted, and of course they slowed right down, making me nervous ? especially because I figured she was probably chatting to me to try and see how bad the contractions were, and I?m a very reserved person so even when I?m in a lot of pain I keep it to myself. They were quite painful by this time. She listened to the baby?s heart, and I got all tearful because it reminded me of my last labour when I still remember hearing his heart rate go slow which led to me having to be transferred, and all the worry that went with that. So she offered to turn the sound off after she?d found it in future which I was glad of. Anyway she seemed to think I wasn?t very far on so said she would go and do some errands. But then I got concerned because I really wanted to get in the pool at 5cm, and if it was like last time I must be there by now. But she didn?t really want to do an internal ? I think because she didn?t think I was in labour yet. Plus in my birth plan I had said I want as few internals as possible because I hate them and because last time it was during an internal that my waters broke and I still think that might have led to the baby?s heart rate dropping because it only happened after that. I went to another room and promptly started crying because I felt like she didn?t understand that I might be further on and just not showing it very much, and I really wanted to get in the birth pool at the right time to speed it all up and was worried if she went off then I wouldn't be able to. So I decided to ask for an internal! Anyway she did one, and I was only 3 cm ? aaargh. By that time it was 10pm at night and I had been having painful contractions all day so I was quite discouraged. But at the same time I was then not worried about her wanting to go and do errands, so was happier about that. Then after that she didn?t go anyway because she said it was paper thin, and I think she wanted to wait and see.
So I went for another walk though I didn?t get too far as I had to lean against a tree or a house every few minutes, and then got back and tried to be more upright etc. I felt like I had to perform though, and felt a bit pressured to get it moving, so in hindsight I wish I?d just waited to ring the midwife till I was having 1 in 3 rather than 1 in 5, as then I wouldn?t have felt under that pressure. Although she didn?t say anything that way at all ? it was just me feeling that. A while later it was getting unbearable and the TENS which I?d had on all day wasn?t making much difference anymore so I said I think I want to get in the pool. It was midnight now, and she asked if she could do another internal first so I agreed and I was 4cm so I said I?ll go as far as I can without and then get in, which I did. It was lovely in there, but I was unable to really relax because I still felt like I needed to get things moving to make sure I really had this baby and didn?t stall, so I squatted quite a bit to try and bring the baby down in between contractions. And I found the best thing about the pool was the ease of changing positions ? it was great for that. The midwife came in to talk to me, and stayed there, so my lovely DH asked her to go in the other room J as I had expressly said in my birth plan that I didn?t want to be observed as I am a very private person and I felt like that slowed my labour down last time. Although unfortunately the room the pool was in was between the kitchen and the living room so he kept walking between them to make tea etc. and I didn?t feel too private!
Soon I asked DH to come in the pool and massage my back so he did, and he stayed there till the birth ? I hadn?t forseen it, but it was great having him there. It was hard for him to keep it up but he managed it and really helped me. Then the contractions for even more unbearable so I asked for gas and air. Last time I had overbreathed it ? basically just kept breathing it after I had had some contractions on top if each other, so was really out of it. And though it was nice for the pain I wanted to be with it this time so I made sure I opened my eyes and took the mask off at the height of each contraction so that I stayed with it. I can still see the Dr Pepper cans that I looked at as I was kneeling by the side of the pool! I managed like this for a while, then got to this point that I was thinking all kinds of things like, I never want to do this again, I wish I was a man, I can?t believe people have 5 children etc.! It was SO much more intense and painful than last time! And I had been led to believe that second labours were easier and faster ? ha ha! Then I remember thinking I can?t cope with this, I need something else, I need an epidural, I should transfer, no don?t be silly you don?t want to go to hospital ? this is IT ? this is all you?ve got ? you?ve GOT to cope!
So I struggled on for what seemed like hours, and at some point the midwife came in and asked me if I felt any pressure, and I said I haven?t been thinking about it ? which I guess was a no. Last time I didn?t get an urge to push so I didn?t know what it felt like. But then a bit later I started pushing by myself ? I just did it with the contraction and it helped with the pain ? and I kind of whoozily thought, oh I wonder if this is it, I?d better wait for a few more and see if it happens again and it?s not just me. Anyway it happened again, then the MW came in with the other one who had turned up since and said ?Right let?s get this gas and air off you and see what your body wants to do? ? I guess they must have been able to tell by how close the contractions were or something. So they took it off me, and as soon as it went I started pushing properly and moaning like I was having a bowel movement at the same time. It?s funny because I didn?t make any noise last time, and I didn?t think I would this time, but it was involuntary. And I said, ?I think the baby?s coming?. Then my waters broke, and I could feel the baby coming down. They got me to lean back against DH in the pool so they could see, and I protested and said I don?t want to be in this position! So thankfully they let me go back upright again and I think I squatted and lent forward at the same time, grabbing the side of the pool and it felt so much better that way. I felt the baby coming down and I thought, oh no I need to know when its crowning so I can pant, but my body just did it by itself, and I panted without knowing I had to. I remember thinking the crowning wasn?t anything like as painful as I?d imagined (last time I had an episiotomy so was under local anaesthetic). Then they told DH to guide it up and I was saying ?don?t touch it!? ? I was so scared of him bringing the baby up too fast and snapping the cord! But he did anyway and then they got me to lift my leg over her so I could hold her and keep the cord intact, as I had asked to wait for the cord to be cut till it had stopped pulsing. DH cut the cord and I got out for the placenta delivery which I had opted to have the injection for, for safety?s sake. The afterpains were horrendous, but at least I had a baby. She was born at 3.15am on the 24th June after being in prelabour since 8am the previous morning, and proper labour for 3 hrs.
It took me a long time to get over the shock of how terribly painful it all was this time compared to last time, so much so that when people asked if the birth went OK I almost felt like saying no! But it did go OK, thankfully, with no complications at all. And I only had a small tear which didn?t need stitching, which I am sure is due to the pool. I do feel a bit cheated by all those people who said that 2nd labours are easier though!