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Disapproving mum..

7 replies

user1483914724 · 13/02/2017 18:00

So I found out I am pregnant 3 days ago. I'm nearly 22 and my boyfriend is 29 and have been together 20 months. We don't live together yet and finding out was a bit of a shocker but after 24hrs or so we were both so happy and excited. We decided to tell our parents seperately. His mum and step dad were so happy and hugging him and saying she'll be supportive in every way (even saying we can live with her if we haven't sorted ourselves out in time) so I told my mum and she just sat there and said she's so disappointed. Telling me it's the stupidest thing I've ever done, that my other family members are gonna kill me, how heartbroken she is and that I'm not living in her house with a baby end of story... I was telling her everything's going to be okay, (told her what my mother in law said) but she just walked away.. now I'm sat in tears just feeling almost 'dirty' and how dare I make such a 'terrible' decision to keep the baby.. just hope after a few days it all calms down, then I just have the other dilemmas of telling my dad (although he was the same age as my boyfriend when he had me) and also my nans who are pretty much against sex before marriage anyway any one else's parents/family members react badly but then eventually come round to the idea Xx

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MollyHuaCha · 13/02/2017 18:07

What a lousy reaction you have received from your mum. She may, of course, change her view in time. As a pregnant woman you need support and love. As yr mum she should know that.

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user1483914724 · 13/02/2017 18:37

I know she said she's brought me up better than that?! I could understand if maybe I didn't have a decent amount of savings behind me and I was immature but I'm not at all, in fact people have always said I'm older than my years (if that's the saying lol) and I wil be 22 1/2 and my boyfriend will be 30 by time baby comes so hardly like 2 teenagers that haven't got a clue!
And she knows I've always wanted children, and yes I know circumstances could be better I.e living together/ married but she married my dad and had me and divorced a year later so that worked out well lol
Yeah I think she's just in shock, I just wish it was a better initial reaction as that's gonna be in my memory forever:( X

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baconsandwiches · 14/02/2017 08:29

I really hope she comes to terms with it soon and can be more encouraging, so sorry you didn't get the positive reaction you hoped for. I don't think there's ever a perfect time to have a baby, and the baby being loved and cared for is infinitely more important than its parents age(s) or whether they're married or not! (When we told one family member that I was pregnant, his response was 'when's the due date... is that nine months past the wedding? Ah yes, you're ok then!' What a load of tosh!)
I'm sure her reaction comes from a place of wanting the best for you and the shock stopped her controlling her reaction and putting your feelings first - but I hope you get an apology, and that soon she starts to get excited to be a grandma!

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user1474299685 · 20/02/2017 19:49

Bless you, it's a hard one if she can't be happy then tbh it's her loss it's lovely a baby a blessing. So take your partner family offer and be Happy your mum will probably come round I had my first son At 19 and was a single parent and my family was a bit like this because I was young I'm now engaged in my own home doing my nursing degree pregnant with my second child sometimes it just takes time x

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user1474299685 · 20/02/2017 19:49

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PonderLand · 20/02/2017 20:23

That's so sad she reacted like that. My parents were happy but very worried about how I would manage financially etc. I was 23. Now we've got a house we're doing up bit by bit and I've got a weekend job. It's tough but we're happy we decided to keep my lb and wouldn't change it!
Maybe speak to your mum in a few weeks time or when you have a scan invite her along if you're partner can't make it etc, she might be more positive when she realises you have made the decision and her input won't change anything but your relationship with her.
Congratulations OP!! :)

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Luna4689 · 14/03/2017 23:58

User I am in the exact same position as you. Similar age (I'm almost 20) partner is 30 and we have been together 20months!
His family were really excited and all mine are disappointed and upset. My dad found out this evening and won't speak to me yet.
My mum took a few days to come around to the idea because she was so shocked and I'm sure that will happen to you!
Honestly, there isn't anything they can do about it (I'm trying to believe this!!) and they can be angry and unhappy but they'll support you because they love you! X