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Original poster

Pregnant after 6 months dating

19 replies

Samroff22 · 24/02/2016 02:27

I'm new here and I just need to talk to someone before I explode. I'm 25 but I'm going back to uni next fall, I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months but have known him since high school. I love him. He's amazing. I found out I'm pregnant and I just got over the denial and I don't know what to do. I know he'll obviously love this kid but I'm so scared... I'm not exactly set in life and I don't know how to tell him. I don't know how to tell anyone. I guess I don't really have a main question but if you could just reply with how you did things that would help a lot. I'm just so lost.

OP posts:
gooseberryroolz · 24/02/2016 02:52

It'll be fine. Just tell people and smile. You'll muddle through.

Does he know yet?

RudeElf · 24/02/2016 03:00

Congratulations!

Like goose said, you just tell him and then its done. And you deal with whatever response you get. Are you happy to be pregnant/become a parent? You have choices if its not what you want.

Original poster
Samroff22 · 24/02/2016 03:06

Gooseberry, no he doesn't know. :( I found out for sure just this morning and ive been avoiding him all day. I know he won't freak out but I'm just still scared.

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Original poster
Samroff22 · 24/02/2016 03:08

rudeelf, its just really unexpected but I am not up for abortion and adoption either. I have always wanted a kid and 25 would typically seem like a good age but I'm just not settled with life and such. Do you mind if i ask what age you had yours if you already have kids?

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RudeElf · 24/02/2016 03:20

Yes i have two sons. First when i was 19 and second when i was 22. Both unplanned and far from ideal circumstances. I hid my first pregnancy until i was 4 months pregnant as i was just so immobilised by the fear of how it would be received. I was still living with my parents and whilst initially it wasnt welcome news they became supportive and my son and i lived there for a few months after he was born. They are fantastic grandparents now he is 10. With my second pregnancy i told the news straight away. Mostly because i couldnt cope with the stress of hiding it again. Family were shocked but again, supportive and i couldnt ask for more from them.

Original poster
Samroff22 · 24/02/2016 03:23

thank you so much!! I'm actually between living situations, with my parents and with my boyfriend. I'm glad they were supportive with you. I'm really anxious to tell anyone but I think i should do it soon

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RudeElf · 24/02/2016 03:32

Yes i agree with the sooner the better. There is nothing to be gained from delaying that but it will be stressful for you to keep that secret. Get it out there in the open and whatever happens then, you will deal with. How do you think your parents will be?

gooseberryroolz · 24/02/2016 03:32

rudeelf, its just really unexpected but I am not up for abortion and adoption either. I have always wanted a kid and 25 would typically seem like a good age but I'm just not settled with life and such.

The exact same happened to me when I was 21, (but with the rebound guy) it all worked out okay (apart from that first marriage). I finished uni, it was all good. he's off to uni himself this year. Just tell your boyfriend first (he sounds like a good one) and then focus on practicalities.

YerAWizardHarry · 24/02/2016 03:49

I fell pregnant with my son when I'd been dating his dad around the same amount of time. We stayed together 3yrs in total but have now separated but he split custody 50/50. I was only just turned 19 when I fell pregnant so definitely not set for life but everything has worked out well

Original poster
Samroff22 · 24/02/2016 04:16

Rudeelf, my parents are eastern European which I know is a weird explanation but they're not gonna be too happy especially if I'm starting Uni again. But I mean every parent wants grandkids so I guess that's good.

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Original poster
Samroff22 · 24/02/2016 04:18

Gooseberryroolz I'm thinking of going over there tonight (I live in Canada so for me it's 11 pm) because I would feel terrible if I waited even another few hours. My stomach has been turning so much :(

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Original poster
Samroff22 · 24/02/2016 04:20

Yerawizardharry you were in an even more difficult situation and I'm glad to hear it worked out well. I didn't know what to expect because I've always wanted a kid before my mid 20s and I guess I was just thinking i would have been with my partner for longer than a few months.

OP posts:
gooseberryroolz · 24/02/2016 05:35

But I mean every parent wants grandkids so I guess that's good.

You have evolotionary psychology working in your favour.

Let us know how you get on. Good luck Flowers

gooseberryroolz · 24/02/2016 05:35

evolutionary^

becksblue · 24/02/2016 05:49

This is one if those times it's good to have the 9 months pregnancy as by the time the baby comes everyone will have had plenty of time to process the information and get excited! I had my first baby at 32 but my mum had me when she was 18 and I like to think I've turned out ok! Sometimes I wish I stated a bit earlier so to me you sound like the perfect age. It's a cliche but there really is no perfect age or time.

No matter what reaction you get just know that this is one if the best things that will ever happen to you.

Massive congratulations from me Thanks

Original poster
Samroff22 · 24/02/2016 19:33

Aww thank you all so much. I was panicking but I'm starting to love this site. Thanks gooseberryroolz and becksblue. You made some good points and I think I'm past the shock and I'm excited.

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DarcyParty · 18/01/2017 09:56

Hi Samroff, I'm 24 and have only been with my boyfriend for 8 months (moved in after 4 months!) and we're trying for our first baby. He was my first real boyfriend, but at the risk of sounding cheesy, when you know you're with the right one, you know :) I'd try not to worry too much if you can, life has a way of working things out :)

DarcyParty · 18/01/2017 09:58

Oops sorry, didn't realise this was from 2016, Im still new here Blush

mm81 · 30/01/2017 21:18

Samroff22
Rudeelf, my parents are eastern European which I know is a weird explanation but they're not gonna be too happy especially if I'm starting Uni again. But I mean every parent wants grandkids so I guess that's good.

Iam from Eastern Europe I understand your comment and my parents are very strong Catholics... you can see where I am going with this...
Me and partner were supposed to get married in July ... everything organised, dress bought, parents even bought tickets to fly over etc...
I found in November I am preggers, cried for three days because I didn't plan this and didn't want things this way.... luckily my partner is very understanding and supportive and was over the moon when I told him!!

You must tell yours sooner rather than later, he sounds like a decent man and once you have told him you'll feel better and whatever comes next you'll deal with it. Now you also have baby's health to consider as well as yours so please don't stress yourself too much xx good luck xx

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