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Share your unique birth stories and read heartwarming stories from fellow mums. For more on your baby’s development, check out the Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

blobsmummy has had a blob!

33 replies

blobsmummy · 10/06/2006 16:32

Announcing the arrival of our daughter Iona Lily, born on Sunday 8:46pm weighing in at 6lb 6oz.

What a traumatic experience! Please forgive for the long posting, but really need to share the experience with others.

Woke up at 5:30am Sunday morning with a few pains and woke up DH at 6am thinking it could be the start of things. They were coming every 5-10 minutes so rang hospital to forewarn them that I could be in at some point.

Was coping quite well with contractions - very different to what i expected them to feel like. At 2:30pm they were coming every couple of minutes so decided to go to hospital to get it checked out. I was really terrified that they'd tell me I was only 1cm and to go home! However, when I got there they told me I was 7cm - yippee!!

Couldn't believe that I'd laboured that far without the need for any pain relief. I had a bit of gas and air to get me to 10cm but was coping really well - until things started to go pear-shaped.

After over an hour of pushing, DD still hadn't moved in the slightest down the birth canal and the doctor was called in to examine me. DD was presenting face first and had basically got her head stuck and was going nowhere. At that point people started appearing from nowehre asking me to sign forms and sticking canulars and catheters into me. Poor DH was given scrubs and looked terrified - at which point I knew we were experiencing problems.

I got taken to theatre (leaving behind the lovely gas and air) and they prepared me for a spinal block. At this point the contractions were too much to bear and I was begging someone to give me some form of pain relief. Just as they were about to start the spinal, someone who needed an emergence c-section was rushed into the theatre and everyone left me to concentrate on this other women. I was left in a side room for about 30mins having full blown contrations, trying to push and with no pain relief at all - I became banshee wailing women at this point!

When I did get back into theatre they had 20 attempts at giving me a spinal block - all of them failed. In the end, the top consultant bloke at the hospital decided that it was going on for too long, and gave me an episiotomy with a local anaethestic and got out DD by kiwi.

Iona was absolutely fine - bump on the head but pretty perfect apart from that. I looked and felt as if I'd been steam-rollered!

Was recovering OK (apart from painful stitches) until Monday when I got a crushing headache that has continued pretty much up to this point. I haven't been able to stand or sit - only lie down. Went back into hospital yesterday and was told that at least one of the 20 attempts at a spinal had caused me to leak spinal fluid since that time. Normally it heals itself, but I was one of the unlucky ones.

I'm now on strong painkillers and if it hasn't rectified by Momday, then I'm back in theatre where they'll give me a blood patch.

Can't bear the thought of going back into hospital again, especially for a procedure involving injecting stuff in my back to cure the botched attempt the first time around. Am quite scared that it could make things worse - and I don't want to even think about what would happen if they couldn't get the needle in again.

Still, here I am at the computer and I'm praying that by tomorrow I'll be completely healed up and won't have to go in.

The first part of the labour was so easy, but I feel quite traumatised by what happened after, and it's really affected how I feel about DD. I feel so guilty, but i actually quite resent her at the moment. She's an absolute cutie and everyone keeps saying how lovely she is, but I feel so unwell and tired that I'm really not coping with looking after her at all. DH is tending to her every need and she really responds to him. I'm just feeding her when necessary but not wanting to interact with her at other times.

Anyone out there felt the same?

Sorry for the long posting, but in need of a bit of support. Still, I do feel very fortunate to have a DD who is well, and I keep telling myself that by this time next week things will seem a lot better.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
mustrunmore · 10/06/2006 16:35

20 attempts? Blimey Sad
At the risk of sounding blaise about it, you will feel much better about it all soon, as it becomes less raw.

What a lovely name too.

mustrunmore · 10/06/2006 16:38

If it helps, I never really did any of the bonding stuff with ds1, I think due to him being away from me for a while after he was born by c section (its been very different with ds2, who was a section, but I could hold him straight away)... but despite no bonding, and not being at all maternal, I do adore him now. It wasn't so much that I resented him for me having a c section, just that I had to sort my own feelings out before I could deal with him too.And recover physically.

KommandantColditz · 10/06/2006 16:38

\link{http://www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/\click this link it might help you}

congratulatuions on your daughter.

you should feel a lot better by this time next week, but if by an chance you don't, tell your health visitor. She can help you and will not judge you for feeling the way you do.

pupuce · 10/06/2006 16:57

First of all WELL DONE Smile
Amazed (pleased) they got her out without the section... it will be useful for you to discuss your birth with your midwife to understand what happened.... this can be done when evere YOU feel like it.

I am not surprised you feel this way... you've been through hell....
Would you call someone at \link{http://sheilakitzinger.com/Birth%20Crisis.htm\birth crisis} ? They're really good with these sorts of things Smile and it probably is best to tackle this now rather tahn wait for it to get better because it sometimes take a long time to get better on its own....

Have you been able to do skin to skin with her ? What about having a quiet bath with her, when you feel physoically better?

Not everyone bonds immediately after a birth (even a straightforward one).... give yourself sometime, it's OK !!!!

How is the feeding going?

blobsmummy · 10/06/2006 17:03

Thankyou KommandantColditz, I have started to read the website and feel so much less isolated. It's horrible that other women have had similar (and worse experiences) but good to know that there is support.

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Rhubarb · 10/06/2006 17:07

I take it you've not visited the 'orgasms during childbirth' thread? Grin

Things will get better and soon it will all be but a nasty memory - honestly! Enjoy your little one whilst you can, ime they grow up far too quickly! And congrats! Smile

blobsmummy · 10/06/2006 17:08

Pupuce - I'm managing to breastfeed really well - the one area I don't feel a failure in! I make a point of holding her hand when she's feeding, but once feeding's over I don't really want to be around her much. I'll give the bath idea a go though - she's a right mucky little thing at the moment so she could do with one!

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SoupDragon · 10/06/2006 17:17

Congratulations!

Don't be so hard on yourself. You're knackered and have been through a pretty traumatic birth experience. And you're knackered. You could try just curling up in bed with her, feeding and sleeping and being waited on hand and foot. So go on, get off the PC and go to bed :)

SoupDragon · 10/06/2006 17:18

There's something special about feeding lying down until your baby drops off to sleep and just staying there, watching them (and generally dropping off to sleep too)

surroundedbyboys · 10/06/2006 17:19

hiya. i am so sorry you had such a bad time. 20 times. bloody hell. was it a junior doctor?
don't give yourself a hard time about bonding - it happens so differently for different people. concentrate on yourself for now. happy mummy = happy baby IMO. Lots of love. And well done to your dh who sounds like a total star - hold on to him tight!!!

666mummy · 10/06/2006 17:25

blobsmummy: left you a message on june part three thread. congratulations again and im soory for you that it was such a traumatic experience. thinkin of you all my best. x x

666mummy · 10/06/2006 17:27

i cant wait to make an announcement but doesnt look like any time soon unless a miracle happened..................41wks4days.......boring

sparklemagic · 10/06/2006 18:12

just wanted to add congratulations and WELL DONE, couldn't read your birth story without saying something. You were very brave and should be proud of yourself.

And really don't worry about the bonding thing, as others have said (and you already know) it will come soon, when you are not so shocked...you need time to physically and mentally recover, but I bet it will be less time than you think. And just being there, and feeding when necessary, is actually all your DD needs right now, specially as she has time with her dad too Smile

fingers crossed for your recovery, and well done again.

pupuce · 10/06/2006 18:30

Great about the feeding.... Smile
Yes do give the bath a go... at some point you might want to do it this \link{http://hometown.aol.com/davisrnclc/myhomepage/rebirth.htm\technique} NOT for breastfeeding purposes but as a healing thing for you and baby. I have done it with my clients and it is wonderful (they say Smile)

Waswondering · 10/06/2006 19:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pruni · 10/06/2006 19:13

Blimey - Congratulations but Blimey!
The first thing that strikes me is that the dr who was trying to do the spinal block is the failure, not you. How absolutely scary it must have been. I hope the next few days and weeks bring a bit of peace. Smile

Laura032004 · 10/06/2006 20:03

Congratulations on the arrival of Iona Lily :)

Sorry to hear it was such a traumatic experience :( I hope that it all rights itself over the weekend and that you don't have to go back into theatre.

Gem13 · 10/06/2006 20:50

Congratulations and welcome to Iona Lily Smile

What an awful time! DO talk to lots of people about it and don't worry about you feel now. You're doing so well to breastfeed especially with feeling so ill.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed you feel a whole lot better tomorrow and don't have to go back to hospital on Monday. Sending you lots of good thoughts.

RachelPross · 11/06/2006 12:36

Congratulations, so sorry to hear it was such a traumatic experience for you. I'm sure once you're feeling better in yourself things will improve with the bonding thing.
Still waiting for my arrival, hoping some time soon.

Esmummy · 11/06/2006 19:45

Huge Congratulations :), sounds like you had a horrific time of it :(
Here's hoping you wont haver to go back into theatre

bettythebuilder · 11/06/2006 20:10

congratulations, blobsmummy, and Well Done. You have had a rough time of it - I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you won't have to go back to hospital.

mrsbabookaloo · 11/06/2006 21:00

Well done blobsmummy! Congratulations on your daughter. What a lLovely name.I'll second the opinion that the doctor is a failure. Hope you feel better soon.

Maddison · 11/06/2006 22:22

Congratulations and welcome to Iona Smile

So sorry about the trauma though, I hope you manage to avoid having to go back to theatre tomorrow and hope you feel better soon xx

CarolinaMoose · 12/06/2006 08:33

Congratulations on the birth of your dd - Iona Lily is a lovely name Smile

sorry you had such a traumatic experience - it sounds horrible, and what bad luck to have the headache from the failed spinal on top of that Sad.

I think your dh sounds fab. I would just let him do as much as poss while you sleep. If you can get plenty of rest now it will make the next few weeks a bit easier. Please don't feel guilty about the way you feel about your dd - bonding doesn't happen instantly IME and as the weeks go by you'll feel much closer to her.

Hope the blood patch today will sort your headache out - let us know how you get on.

blobsmummy · 12/06/2006 13:23

Thank you all so much for your messages of support - it's been such a boost to read them all.

Feeling so much better today (apart from the sleep deprivation - guess that's just normal though!). I managed yesterday to be mobile for most of the day. My midwife recommended that I wear really tight jeans to keep the pressure up on my spine, and it seems to have done the trick. I rang the hospital this morning to say I wasn't going in to have the blood patch, but with the proviso that I can walk in at any point in the future and request to have it done straight away which they're more than happy to do.

I'd rather recover bit by bit each day than risk it going pear-shaped again, and thanks to a lot of people praying hard and some advice from the midwife it seems that I'm getting better without the need for intervention.

Thankyou all again so much - mumsnetters are the best!!

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