Supporting a friend who is a new mum

[SilverClementine]

Hi All,

My best friend is due to give birth next month and I would like some advice about how best to support her and her hubby in the months ahead. Neither of them have family close by and it will be their first baby. I want to be a supportive friend but don't really know what to do. I don't want to invade their personal space when the baby is born. Do any of you have some advice about what you did and didn't find helpful from your friends after you gave birth?

Many thanks,

Silv

Food!!

One of the best things my best friend did for me was come round and cook me meals or brought round tipper wares of spag Bol and beef casserole. Stuff we could warm up in microwave and was healthy to keep us going.

I didn't really like offers of baby sitting as I hated being separated from dd and I'm breastfeeding a bottle refuser so noone could really help with that. After a month or so getting someone to take the baby for a walk meant I could nap for a bit.

Also just ask!! It's lovely to have friends that want to help especially if family is far away. So just ask how you can be helpful!

Totally agree with above. Food is the answer. I would never have survived if my mil hadnt brought meals down or cooked for us in those first few weeks.

Also found people doing the dishes helpful or putting the washing on. Just little domestic things that mean mum and dad still have their time with baby and not worrying about the small stuff x

Come round and put the kettle on yourself. Accept no offers from them to make you anything. Don't ask what chores need to be done just take the initiative - "I'll just empty this bin for you", "Let me just pop this laundry in the tumble dryer for you". Don't stay long even if helping. Mum and dad may not feel they can nap with you around, or breastfeed, or take a shower, and they may be dying to. Our LO is three weeks old and I've noticed that visitors who already have kids have tactfully shown up with food and buggered off after 20 mins to an hour. Those who don't have kids yet have stayed for hours and hours and expected tea, biscuits lunch etc til exhaustion.