Only kidding! Although that's what I said immediately after the birth.
I'm delighted to announce that my dd Ruby was born at home after a nine hour labour on October 12th. Here are the gory details for anyone who is interested...
I do believe that the relaxed environment of home (My own music, lighting, food) helped me to dilate quite quickly - five hours - and at first I was finding the whole experience painful but manageable. Was using TENS machine and got into the birthing pool at approx 7 cms. I had half an hour of gas and air to get me through transition. However I then had a long and painful second stage - four hours - without any pain relief whatsoever. I should make clear at this stage that I'm not a pain fetishist but my independent midwives witheld the gas and air from me on the basis that it was best that I do it naturally. (I could have banged their heads together at this stage)
I wasn't very well behaved (Told my midwives who were trying to soothe me to 'shut the fuck up' at one stage) and even tried to walk out on my own labour. It was so frustrating because nothing was happening so I got out of the pool and said 'I'm not doing this any more' and walked out of the room. It was at this point that a massive contraction reminded me that my labour wasn't going to walk out on me. Oops.
Ruby was finally born at 1.15 am - 7 lbs 12 oz - and is absolutely beautiful. I would really recommend a home birth, after all that. It was fantastic to be able to get in to my own bath afterwards followed by my own bed. It was quite magical for me and my DH being in our own bed with our little girl between us. If we'd been in hospital my DH would have had to go home and I wouldn't have been able to bear that.
Plus I do think in retrospect that a hospital wouldn't have allowed me to push for that long. The upshot would have been medical intervention of some kind and - I'm convinced - ultimately a much longer labour. So even though it was fucking painful I'd go for the short(ish) sharp shock any time over the long drawn out medicalised route.