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Original poster

SouthSea's All American Baby thread

315 replies

duchesse · 13/02/2011 09:42

New thread for well-wishers to leave messages! And for Southsea to leave links to photos of the Pebble (hint hint) [you don't have to Southsea)

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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flamingtoaster · 25/02/2011 18:43

Another vote for holding him as much as he needs. My DS was full-term but was an emergency cs. He cried inconsolably if put down when awake during the day - so for the first six weeks I carried him around all the time (no slings then!). He then turned into the happiest, easiest, most content baby I could have wished for - so it was obviously what he needed at the time.

Great to hear of the weight gain!

JustKeepSwimming · 25/02/2011 18:52

Southsea - not checked in on you for a while, great news on him coming out of hospital, and pretty quickly in the scheme of things too Grin

I'm sure i read/heard somewhere that preemie babies should be held/cuddled/carried in a sling/etc absolutely loads at least until their due date. Then it's a case of them still needing to be near you while they slowly realise there's a big world out there, but it's totally up to you, his Mummy, how much you hold & cuddle him.

Having worried about over-cuddling DS1, I just went with the flow with DS2 & intend to make the most of those oh-so-precious early snuggles with DC3. :)

oooggs · 25/02/2011 19:25

just enjoy snuggling Smile

Southsearocks · 26/02/2011 20:39

Yeah, it is lovely to carry him around and snuggle him. I feel better about doing it now, thanks. I do have a moby sling and got it out yesterday to see how it works. I think Thomas is going to get lost in it, he's so wee! But I might have a go later because it would be nice to be hands free.

I'm having problems with the nipple shield now Sad. It's really hurting sometimes when I breastfeed, which still isn't very often I have to say. I bought a different type but that's too big for his mouth at the moment. I will persevere but could really do with some 1:1 help. If I was at home I'd have contacted the breastfeeding nurse or joined the local group. I do have a list of lactation consultants here but I'm reluctant to spend more money, I'd rather wait till we get home and really tackle it. I'm trying to keep Thomas interested in at least some breastfeeding in the meantime.

Talking of which, we spent most of yesterday on the phone and Internet trying to talk to someone about the birth certificate. It is so bureaucratic! You call a number, you are given several options, you choose an option, you are redirected to the website that you found the number on, or you are given more options, then you end up back at the original message! This happened with several agencies. Eventually DP talked to a HUMAN BEING at Vital Records (not a music label Grin ) and was given the name of someone to call on Monday who might be able to help speed things up. And I eventually found an email for the British Embassy in Washington and emailed saying we are desperate to get home, and was contacted shortly after by a real live person! Hallelujah!!

A lady from the Embassy phoned and is going to ring back on Monday, so with a bit of luck things may start moving then. Shes suggesting we apply for a uk passport but we still need the local birth certificate for Thomas to do that and our own from home so it wont be any quicker. What DP did learn was that once the birth certificate papers have been filed (they have been) the Vital Records Dept keep the birth certificate for 58 days before sending it out Shock and we simply can't wait that long. What's really sad is that the travel insurance people phoned to say they could fly us home next week if we wanted and we had to tell them we couldn't as we don't have the passport yet. It's maddening!

Luckily DPs family are smashing and the food is just great over here. So much choice, no wonder Americn's like to eat! Not losing any of that pregnancy tum here.... Smile

CointreauVersial · 26/02/2011 20:49

What a bureaucratic nightmare; I'm sure you are dying to be on a plane home.

I would really put pressure on the embassy to help you out - claim financial hardship if you have to. It seems a bit daft to keep you stranded in the US.

Keep going with the BF. Do they have an equivalent to the NCT in the US, i.e. a charitable group offering support?

You'll get there in the end....just think how nice it will be back home. fingers crossed the embassy pulls something out of the bag next week.

JustKeepSwimming · 26/02/2011 21:05

I cant really help much with the bureaucracy, just to say keep trying, ring lots. The more you pester people the more they want to get rid of you so actually do something!

You could consider contacting your MP back in the UK, just to see if they have any further advice/tips/people to contact.

I'm sure the La Leche League in the US are a charity that wouldn't charge for bf help, could you try calling this number?
I do think the more help you get earlier, the netter off you & Thomas will be.

Chin up, you're both doing brilliantly :)

tadjennyp · 26/02/2011 21:41

I can't believe they are sitting on Thomas' birth certificate as we got Samuel's through the post less than a week after we registered him. Is that particular to the state you are in? There must be cases where people have had to fly abroad soon after a baby was born and they expedited it for them. You can't be the first. Definitely put pressure on them. I'm sure La Leche League is free too and knowing Americans they would be very excited to help you with your birth story! I hope you get the paperwork sorted really soon and manage to get home.

Original poster
duchesse · 26/02/2011 21:44

Can you register his birth at a British embassy and then get a UK passport on that basis? Might be quicker. Is that even possible? (trying to remember if one is allowed to hold dual UK/US nationality and think I remember that a couple of friends do).

I second contacting a LLL counsellor. You sound very calm despite the hideous upheaval in your lives over the last 2 months. Getting home is going to be so weird... Did you even have a cot or basket ready? (cardboard box or drawer will do just as well if not)

Crossing fingers that you manage to negotiate the bureaucratic maze asap with the help of the embassy.

OP posts:
Original poster
duchesse · 26/02/2011 21:55

This might help.

OP posts:
paddyclamp · 26/02/2011 21:56

It's definitely fine to hold dual UK and US cos i hold both :)

Jacksmania · 27/02/2011 00:57

Southsea, seriously - if a breastfeeding counsellor costs money to see, I will front it for you, or pay it if you can't. I really will.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

mathanxiety · 27/02/2011 01:54

You get your bc through the county department of vital records. In the case of Riddle hospital this would be Delaware county?

Here's some info for Delaware County LaLeche League; LLL are very supportive and knowledgeable.

A forum with preemie breastfeeding questions discussed

Southsearocks · 27/02/2011 04:01

Awww.. Thanks Jacksmania Smile, that's a really kind offer. It's not that we don't have the money, I just don't want to spend it on overpriced care when we can get it for nowt back home. But I will look into the LLL on Monday too and see what they offer locally and also see what other local groups there are.

Thanks mathanxiety, that link was very helpful and it looks like they were in the same boat as me. It's good to know that people can try for a long time and eventually succeed. Thomas also takes a whole bottle after a bf so I identified with that. I have been worried that my milk supply will go too but perhaps not. I will persevere!

Re the passport, yes we can get both and may end up putting in an application for both and seeing which arrives first! I'll know more on Monday.

Time for bed and another sleepless night.... X

ilovesprouts · 27/02/2011 04:16

awwh congrats hes so cute x

galwaygal · 27/02/2011 07:27

Southsea - how frustrating with the passports... hope on monday you get decent help with fast-forwarding the process.

On the breastfeeding - yep I found the nipple shields wonderful and first and then just painful, that is when I saw the lactation consultant. Another thing to try is to start with the nipple shield, get your flow started, and then remove the nipple shield and have Thomas on the nipple directly. This was how I got my little one to open his mouth wide enough for me, once he tasted and smelt the milk he was better at going directly on the nipple.

Yep babies will guzzel away on bottles after a feed even if they are not hungrey or don't need it. It is so much easier for them to drink from a bottle, but it is also easier for then to take more than they need. Please do consider seeing LLL or lactation consultant before you leave, as well as having someone ready to contact at home. It is good to have the support in the early days, having said that it took me 3 months to finally get sorted with breastfeeding and stop the all bottle feeds totally, so it is a process and with the right help you will do fine. Are you still expressing as well as bf-ing?

CrispyTheCrisp · 27/02/2011 08:26

GGGRrrrrrrrr for the bureaucratic nonsense Angry. Hopefully one of the links above will provide the final breakthrough you need Smile

Great news that the insurance company are ready to bring you home. So, with that i will just start a chant

ilovesprouts · 27/02/2011 09:42

southsea if you look on my profile you will see a pic of my ds1 who was born 21 years ago :)

Jacksmania · 27/02/2011 17:46
mathanxiety · 27/02/2011 18:03

Or maybe it's the State office in PA where you can go for the BC?

Southsearocks · 28/02/2011 00:48

DP was in the bathroom and offered to wash the pumping equipment, which I was impressed with and very grateful for! I went in after a few minutes and asked where the 2oz of milk was that I'd pumped half an hour earlier?

He'd thrown it down the sink.

Cue tears and a minor tantrum Sad

Today has been a toughie....

Jacksmania · 28/02/2011 05:33

NOOOOOO!!!!!

Why??? Why would he do that??
What an utterly stupid, brainless thing to do!!!!
Angry :(
Gah!!!!!!!

(((((((HUG))))))))?

Or Wine?

Or a handy stick to whack DP with?

Teaandcakeplease · 28/02/2011 06:34

Second Jacksmania Angry Many ((hugs))

I'm not sure what pump the hospital provided you with but the best pump that I found, that got the most milk out for me was the Medela Swing. Espensive but worth every penny. So well worth investing in one at some point imo.

JustKeepSwimming · 28/02/2011 06:50

Oh God Southsea :( Shock

I well remember the feeling of knocking over the open bottle of several ounces I'd just expressed (& I wasn't in the high-stress/preemie baby situ you are).....not good.

He'll learn, I'm sure simply from the expression on your face, let alone what choice words you used!!

Chin up & hope the paperwork gets sorted this week.

diddl · 28/02/2011 06:52

I found a hand pump the best-other than the electric one that I used in hospital.

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 28/02/2011 10:00

With DS I had a battery operated pump, and found it hard to express anything. With DD I had the Avent Isis breast pump. It was far and away the better pump. You can get an adapter to pump straight into storage bags, and then feed straight from them. IMO definitely worth a look.