SouthSea's All American Baby thread

[duchesse]

New thread for well-wishers to leave messages! And for Southsea to leave links to photos of the Pebble (hint hint) [you don't have to Southsea)

Southsea, congratulations on Thomas' safe arrival. I'm so sorry that you are feeling low at the moment - it's a tough time and you haven't had the ideal preparation really, so don't be hard on yourself.

I was wondering if you had tried looking at the NCT Information Centre, they have lots of information on everything from BFing to having a premature baby - it might help supplement the info you are getting from the hospital??

Anyhow, good luck, you are doing a great job.

See yet more conflicting advice!!! , actually I agree with Blunder, the spacing between feeds does not need to be equal, but it is best to keep the number of expressing times the same, and if possible the approximate time of the expressing sessions, so if you do 7am and 8am one day if possible do the same the following day, not essential but does help the body to have a pattern.

I second the suggestion of putting Thomas on one breast and pumping on the other breast. Did that with Jackbaby and was completely amazed at the amount I was able to produce. Even if he's not strong enough to really suck, just him nuzzling your breast will stimulate the let-down.

Don't give up. The early days are hard - no, the early days are crap, even if you've had a perfectly normal lead-up to the main event. Which you, my peanut butter-sweetiepie (JB's favourite made-up name for me), have not. :(

Don't feel useless. YOU made a baby and kept him in there safely long enough until he could be cared for outside of you. Your fabulous body actually gave birth to him. You're amazing in keeping so positive and strong all this time.

And even if fully breastfeeding doesn't work out right now - and I'm not being Ms Negativity here, I firmly believe it will - so what? You'll bottle-feed Thomas, and you can keep pumping a bit every day, even if you only get drops, and then when he's strong enough to really suck, you can try again. It's called re-lactating, and a breast-feeding counsellor should be able to help you with it.
He'll be nourished regardless, and he'll thrive fabulously. Your ability or inability to breastfeed does not in any way minimize the truly miraculous thing you've done.

Now go have some chocolate. Much, much love. xxxJM

Yes, everything that Jacksmama said!

I will add that with DS1 I had awful problems with breast feeding. He was healthy, full term but had a traumatic birth ending in emcs. Anyway he wouldn't latch on and I found it nearly impossible to express much at all, holding baby and letting him nuzzle did help a bit with let down. My midwife suggested having a glass of wine as I was very stressed by the whole thing, this helped me to just feel less of a milking machine for a little while:). We had to cup feed formula to DS for a couple of weeks. With hindsight I'm not sure how I carried on perservering! However I did end up BF very happily for 8 months so am very glad I did. Once he started feeding there was not stopping him!

Having said all this I really wish someone had said to me:
He'll be nourished regardless, and he'll thrive fabulously. Your ability or inability to breastfeed does not in any way minimize the truly miraculous thing you've done.
This is so true and would have helped me so much emotionally.

Good luck and I hope you feel a bit brighter soon.
xxx

jacksmania doh!

Hi Southsea,

I'm really sorry that you are having troubles with your milk and getting so much conflicting advice.

When I was first establishing my milk with my DS(born 3 months early), I used to pump every 2 hours through the day and then 4 hourly at night (I used to set the alarm for 12 midnight, 4am and then 8am). Pumping at the same time every day certainly helped me.

It is also really important that you drink lots of water (I used to have about 3 litres per day) and that you eat regularly. Eating a chocolate bar just before you pump works wonders.

There are lots of threads regularly on Bliss about establishing breastfeeding as it is a common problem amongst mothers of premature babies. Here is one of the threads. I hope it may help you.

Good luck with establishing your milk and please try not to stress.

Ozzy, I was Jacksmama until galwaygirl renamed me :o

Hi Southsea
After what you've been through it's no wonder you feel a bit down...breast feeding is damned hard work even with a full term baby...sounds to me like you're doing brilliantly

Jack Ah my heavily pregnant brain does work just slowly

Ah, thanks guys!! I should have come back earlier to read these posts, they are so helpful! And yes, it was definitely baby blues, with a big dollop of anxiety on top. I still feel anxious and a few mm away from tears most of the time but not full of doom like I was that day. I recognise that this has been a difficult time emotionally and physically and it is starting to take it's toll. Me and DP are snipping at each other but really we're just tired.

It's getting busy as you can imagine so there's been a bit less time for MN. We've been going backwards and forwards to the NICU and the rest of th time is pumping and food. The pumps fall off if I try to type so I've not even had that luxury

The big news is that we're currently in the hospital doing a dry run. I came in this morning as was told Thomas could be discharged tomorrow! They want us to stay tonight to make sure there are no issues and see that he puts on a little more weight. So here we are. He's had two changes and two feeds. The nurse has been helping to put Thomas to the breast and I've tried pumping to stimulate them and then putting him on, but I think his mouth is so little and my boobs are quite large so we're a bit mismatched for now. I've tried squeezing my nipple into shape and he does latch on but isn't sucking. I feel that when we go home there will be more time to try in a more relaxed environment, so I'm trying not to worry.

It is so exciting to think he could be home with us tomorrow, after two months in hospital between us. He's so little still, I hope we don't hurt him! We have to get a paediatrician here for the next few weeks although we still don't know for sure that he's covered by medicaid. We both feel bad about having to claim that.

I had more presents from one of the nurses today. They have been so generous, it will be hard to leave them all but I intend to stay in touch with the ward and send photos and updates. As part of the hamper I got some British flags and a Keep Calm and Carry On Poster with a union jack and a crown on it, to remind them of their little British family. I'm going to stay in touch with one nurse in particular who was there during the labour and has been the most inspiring person. She was like a mother to me while I was here.

Thomas keeps making noises that sound a bit worrying but the nurse says it is just preemie noises and nothing to worry about. It's hard not to be though . It's all so new to me. Where is that baby manual......??? X

Ps I still loath the pump but i am getting more out now. If anything it will make me more determined to conquer breastfeeding so I wont have to use it anymore!

I haven't posted on your threads before but have been following. Missed this one completely. Massive congratulations and keep going with the breastfeeding. Such great news that your baby can come home with you.

Oh dear and :o at the mismatch - I have a friend whose baby boy was quite small and she has humongous bazooms and seeing her wee one breastfeeding was hysterical at first. One breast was almost bigger than the entire baby! She would tell you the same so I'm not just being a cowbag :o

I really think that you'll do better in a more relaxed atmosphere. Stress hormones probably inhbit letdown (I have no scientific proof to cite but if makes sense to me.)

My goodness, I'm ridiculously excited that you're taking him home tomorrow!!! I would be really nervous, too - he's had all this high-tech back-up and now they're just giving him to you and there's not even a test or anything!! Major eeeek moment. Holding your hand all the way from here. Remember you won't hurt him, and being with his mummy and daddy is the best thing in the world for him. Yes, you'll be crapping yourself :o but you'll be fine!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx LOVE JM

Hi Southsea,
My first born wa born at 35+5 and she couldn't get latched properly due to small mouth and huge boobs anyway i literally had to put my finger in her mouth to open up then tickle her chin. Thats how i managed it.
Also preemies do grunt sometimes it's not a problem only if they start to expel thick saliva then he will have to be checked. If you ask one of the midwives there is a tea you can drink which i think is mothers milk tea which helps with milk production.

Good luck at taking him home.

Good luck south sea! I remember the journey home in the car being terrifying, wanting to drive 10mph all the way home and any idiots that got close to us I'd get dead mad!!! But it'll be fine! Wow, your going to be a family all by yourselves soon which is exiting but I guess very scary too as you've had all that help! Bet you'll be brilliant!!! Keep up with the breast feeding and I hope he latches on soon for you. Don't really know much about prem babies and the sucking reflex. Will he eventually get it? Or will he stick to the bottle as that's what he's been using? I do hope so, it's suck a lovely experience and hopefully with all the pumping you've gone through a lot of the soreness. Good luck for tomorrow and have a little celebration glass on me!

Oh how exciting to be taking Thomas home so happy that he is doing so well for you.

On the feeding front (tell me to be quiet if I am annoying you!!!). I have huge boobs and small baby issues, One trick I was shown as well as what ghansell says, is that when finally latched, if the baby is not sucking, tickle his feet!!!!!! yep sounds wierd, but it did work. I guess is it some reflex or other, but never bothered to find out why it worked, it just did. However holding baby and supporting huge boob and tickling baby foot is quite a task, I often recruited someone else to do the feet tickling!!!!

Also when feeding with huge boobs, I found that supporting the boob (not squeezing) and baby on cushion on my lap helpful, not a technique that they show in books but it worked best for my huge boobs with small mouth situation!

I think we can all remember that feeling of "oh help" I now have to take care of this baby. It is exciting, scaring amazing. I hope you get lots of support where you are staying, and that you are able to enjoy those precious first few days as a family at your home away from home.

Great news about taking Thomas home Southsea....I bet you are so excited and of course very nervous.
I don't think any first time parent isn't scared about leaving the safety of hospital and being home alone.

Glad the baby blues have eased, though they may not have gone completely. It's gonna be tough, but hope you have the help and support from DP family.

As for expressing, well I can't give any more advice than has been given. I lasted all of 6 weeks {also used formula from 3 weeks}, ony because I didn't pump enough during the day.

Please keep us updated. Lovely idea with the hamper

Is it fennel tea? I remember drinking that and taking fenugreek and brewers yeast tablets from Holland and Barrett in my bid to up my milk supply

The La Leche web page and Kellymom both have lots of helpful tips and hints. You'll both get there. Just relax x

Day 3 after the birth of both my babies I cried for most of the day and my babies were both full term and I still sniped at my H for the first few weeks. Good luck Southsea, post when you can

Well done Southsea and really excited that you are on the homeward run. The south coast is still grey and rainy but we'll make sure the sun comes out for when you finally get here!

Congratulations - i've been a secret lurker for ages but had no helpful experiences to add. Your baby looks beautiful. Hope it's not too long before you get to take him home.

The breast feeding bit is a toughie. I've been given a nipple shield now and it works a treat! Thomas is actually able to suck although I don't know how much he's getting. Last night he got a mixture of breast, expressed and formula all in the same feed .

The good news is we are definitely going home today - he's been discharged! We've been here exactly two months today between us. It will be hard to say goodbye, believe it or not, but we'll be coming back with some goodies for everyone and keeping in touch.

It's time for a nappy change and feed. There's not much time in between is there? I'm going to try tickling his feet as you suggested Galwaygal. Looking. Forward to some sleep and a beer later (in that order)

My PROM ds (born in the US after 8w of bed-rest in hospital!) wouldn't latch on either. I did find that nipple shields made ALL the difference - he just seemed to need something to get hold of. When he was bigger and more awake I was able to wean him off them, and carried on bf till he was 18m. So if all else fails ...

Another trick I was taught by my expensive but worth it bf consultant was to use an otrhrodontic syringe - a syringe that ends in a soft, curved rubber tube. This could be filled with ebf and the end slid neatly under the nipple shield; pressing on the syringe shot a few drops into it, which ds promptly guzzled, thinking it was all his own work. So then he worked a bit harder at sucking, having tasted the carrot so to speak. Giving him a few drops this way every few sucks kept him interested.

So very glad you are finally leaving hospital together.
, and a nice of tea.

Fab news! Try not to worry too much, you'll do fine. Do try to relax and finally enjoy your time together as a family.

I found a wonderful book in America, Girlfriends Guide to the First Year, it is full of REAL advice from a mum, absolutely brilliant (and made me laugh too). It is very 'american-ized' but really really useful.