SouthSea's All American Baby thread

[duchesse]

New thread for well-wishers to leave messages! And for Southsea to leave links to photos of the Pebble (hint hint) [you don't have to Southsea)

[ilovemydogandMrObama]

Southsea, I'm American and definitely did not have to get the DCs a social security number before they got their US passports. Hope you aren't getting the runaround. Haven't read whole thread, but if you are coming back to the UK, why not just get him a British passport as if he arrives in the UK with an American one, he may need proper visas etc. Call the British Embassy as they will be very helpful and can arrange for an emergency passport.

[ssmile]

Savory Cabbage leaves can help sore boobs, take them out of the fridge and for some reason they do help! No joking worked for me :o

[ssmile]

If you get very desperate as I did, nipple shields (silcone vsoft) but some midwives / health visitors advise against them as can interupt feeding. I was SO sore I had no choice or give up feeding. It worked for me.

[paddyclamp]

Hi Southsea...glad to hear you're doing so well...love the pictures and the name...i have a Thomas although he's a Tom unless he's naughty!!!!

I agree with ilovemydog...my mum brought us into the UK to live on US passports and she got into all sorts of trouble, we were almost denied entry!!! I'm not sure but isnt it possible to get an emergency UK passport?

I know it's federal law to enter the US on a US passport and leave on a US passport...but i don't remember them ever checking passports when you leave a country :S

[jemw]

Hi southsea, I had a premmie baby 34 weeks....ds was in scbu and i was using the pump, the nurses gave me a photo and also a hat he had been wearing as they said the sight and smell would help with the expressing, was able to bf later, hope it goes ok for you.
How are you finding it out of hospital - I was in for about 2 weeks with ds and when i first left I found the outside world very load and noisy and busy, real shock to the system after my hospital room!

Lovely pictures of Thomas, have enjoyed following your thread, take care x

[tadjennyp]

My little one has got his social security number already and he was born on the fifth, so I think they are hot off the mark usually!

[ghansell]

Congratulations southsea, he is adorable.
R.E the hamper what will go down well is some british flavoured crisps as they have very few over there. Also biscuits and marmite.

I would also go out and get a nice strollee and carseat there much much cheaper than here.

[fridakahlo]

Pumping overnight is a really good idea, apparently it's at the night time hours that our hormones linked to milk production really peak, and also having a picture of bubba to look at is really good advice too.
Again congrats!

[geordieminx]

Congratulations south sea. Thomas is beautiful!

[oooggs]

southsea well done with the pumping

[Jacksmania]

Any updates? New pictures? How's it going? xxxxx

[madwomanintheattic]

cabbage inhibits milk production - don't use cabbage until you are trying to dry up your milk supply... definitely not when you are trying to increase production!

but congrats from over the border

[chimchar]

southsea...its great to hear that things are going well...your posts sound really upbeat.

thomas is beautiful....and you look fab!!

what a journey you've been on...be sure to keep all the little reminders, and print out these threads to keep....thomas will love the story when he's older i'm sure.

hope you are feeling well, and get lots more snuggles with thomas today x

[Southsearocks]

Hi,

Thanks for all the great advice about the pumping. I'm feeling totally fed up this morning with the whole thing. I get conflicting advice from the hospital nurses about how often is ok, with one saying every two hours day and night (I tried it, it's fine if you can sleep in the day but we're at the hospital the whole time) to another saying every three hours and onlyonce in the night is sufficient. One boob feels full but simply isn't functioning. One has been great until last night and that now feels empty and soft and isn't doing anything this morning. I can't afford to pay for a private consultation. DP's bill for his broken ankle has come to £1600 for a&e X-ray, boot and 10 minute consult. I'm not in my own home, all my friends and family are a million miles away, DP has his own needs because he can't walk or carry anything, we can't drive ourselves anywhere, I feel totally, totally useless . I'm going to ask to see the breast Feeding nurse today to get a straight answer to my questions. Grrrrr..... And sodding iPad changes all my words when I don't want it to!!!

On the positive side, Thomas is doing well and is just a little tiny poppet. But I'm just so fed up.....

No closer to getting home. Am going to finish pumping and go and have a shower and get ready to go to the hospital again. Sorry to moan but it's a struggle at the moment to feel good. Need a

[Odelay]

Oh Southsea, you know it'll be crazy hormones making you feel hopeless as well as tiredness and and the aftermath of having been through a massive experience.

I remember only too well searching for answers and finding nothing but conflicting advice.

someone will be along soon with good advice for you, but how about posting something on the feeeding bit of MN for some realy expert advice, i found the ladies over there invaluable when i was learning to BF

you ARE doing a fab job, and you AREN'T useless X

[weblette]

Southsea - agree totally with odelay. It must be so so strange for you, you've done BRILLIANTLY and useless is the last word I would use atm!

Have a to go with your x

[madwomanintheattic]

i pumped every three hours day and night for the first 6 weeks, but dd2 wasn't prem, just v poorly. it's really normal not to be getting too much at this stage - just grit your teeth and carry on, lovely.

you've done really well, but now's the hard bit lol. back to real life with a bump and a newborn, and a good dose of hormone blasted blues to start you off. (plus everyone ignoring 'mum' and focusing on 'baby' - it's quite normal to be invisible for a few days lol.

don't depair, it will all be fine. take it easy for a day or so and then ask again in rl if you are still having issues expressing.

and use the feeding boards, they're lovely.

chin up! you've done fabulously!

[moonbells]

Hello Southsearocks - I haven't actually said congrats yet so, many congrats!

You sound like you have a bit of baby blues... all to be expected a few days after birth!

On car seats, the US is actually rather better than Europe. Where we have baby ones, toddler ones (all with 5-point harnesses) then booster seats which use adult seat belts from 4, the US has some with secure 5-point harnesses which go to age about 11. I have been trying to source a US-style one for when DS grows out of the current one. And I think you can get ones suitable from babies all the way to 11 - (checks) yes the Sunshine Kids one (Radian) is suitable from 5lb to 80lb and goes from rear-facing to forward. Britax also do one over there but not over here...

[CointreauVersial]

Oh you poor thing, it sounds so frustrating for you. Please realise you are not alone in feeling like this a few days after a birth (as Moonbells says, baby blues), but I can't imagine how you must feel so far from home.

Things will get better, honestly. Just focus on your gorgeous son, and take every day as it comes. And don't beat yourself up about the pumping - you are doing your best. Make sure you are eating/drinking/resting enough to keep your supply up.

[geordieminx]

iPad problem

"settings"
"keyboard"
Auto correct OFF

Sorry I can't help with the b/f ing, but just keep doing what you are doing, I am sure you will be just fine.

Although FWIW I always managed better expressing by hand?

Love and un-MN like hugs from Scotland

[tadjennyp]

Make sure you drink lots of water while expressing. If you give yourself more sleep at night, you might find that your breasts are fuller and therefore you are more successful at expressing. It might be worth a try and at least then you will feel better for some more sleep. Expressing is hard work, especially when you are tired, emotional and worried about all sorts of stuff. Has Thomas received his social security number yet? Oh and you are not useless at all. You grew a baby and you are feeding him yourself. What more can you do????

[mohara]

Ah southsea, sounds like your hormones are all over the place, hugs from me.......you are SO not useless - look what an amazing little miracle you and DP have created.......things will smooth out emotionally (I remember what my hormones were like and I didnt have HALF the things to contend with that you do).

As for the British hamper, how about some Yorkshire Tea, shortbread, maybe some nice chutney or relish, and some 'British' chocolate ?

Have a , and lots of from me ! xx

[Teaandcakeplease]

((hugs)) lovely Southsea. start a topic in breastfeeding? I always got conflicting advice on BF and I didn't have a preemie. Wish I'd discovered mumsnet sooner as the advice and support here is amazing.

This website I used to find helpful: www.kellymom.com/bf/preemie/index.html But please please please post a topic in BF area for some top tips x

[BUnderTheBonnet]

I had to express to bring in milk, and the best advice I got was to pump 8-10 times a day, and not worry about the time in between, IYSWIM. So, if you pump at 7am and again at 8am, that's fine, and you've "bought" yourself an hour or so later. Babies can have irregular feeding patterns too, so you're mimicking nature. The idea is to empty the breast a similar number of times to a typical newborn. Once your milk starts flowing the whole thing is much more rewarding - promise!!!! I remember how depressing it was trying to hoover up the two or three drops I'd managed to extract after 20 mins.

[galwaygal]

Hi Southsea - it does sound like you have a touch of the babyblues, so I also want to add my reassurance that you are doing really well.

I am going to write a mammoth message here about breastfeeding as you seem concerned about it.

Regarding expressing, if you are getting sore nipples, it will tense you up when you go to express and this will hinder the let-down reflex. Has anyone suggested a warm flannel on the breasts to help with the initial part of the expressing? You may be one of many women (like myself) who don't get much success with expressing. As for number of times a day to be expressing, I think you will get as many answers as people asked. Timing is as important in expressing replacing feeding, so you do need to be pumping very regularly to keep the stimulation going so that your supply is kept going strong. One other thing is the idea that if the breast is soft that there is not much milk there, this is not so, a full breast is nice and reassuring, but not a sign that there is "more" milk really. It is more to do with the body adjusting to times of day it expects to be used. Even an apparently "empty" breast can still provide milk to a suckling baby, unfortunately this is not true for breastpumps!!!!

Just to give an example that might help explain things a bit more. With my children I would be successfully breastfeeding for weeks..... but attach a pump and nothing would come out. If I pumped the next day at the same time, I would get a couple of drops only. If I pumped the third day, I might get a ounces or two if I was lucky. Clearly not enough to replace a feed. But the body adjusts to the times of pumping, and the stimulation of pumping does work whether or not you get anything out.

For me to pump enough to get some stored so that I could have a night out, I often pumped on one side then attached the baby to the opposite boob, the let-down on the baby side meant I would get much more than trying before attaching baby!!!! Does this make any sence to you??!!!

One thing I would be cautious off is irregular pumping, this does not allow your body to build up a natural pattern. Ideally yes you would be pumping to equate to when you would normally be feeding a baby, this with a newborn would be every two hours during the day and maybe three to four hourly at night (depending on the baby!)

Can you pump while at the hospital, just after visiting Thomas? It would be good to be pumping at times while you are there, especially to get your body used to the idea of feeds while with your baby (again I hope this makes sense to you)

But I think mostly you need to be kind to yourself too, don't let yourself get too sore, try to aim for times that don't stress you too much. If this means that you are only pumping every 4 hours day and night but getting good rest between (for body, mind anbd boobs!), then why not! Your body will adjust to a change in pattern in about 3 days, when the time comes to switching to you feeding Thomas directly. And compared to pumping, breastfeeding should feel like a doddle to you with all you are going through.

Finally, you mention a boob feeling full but not functioning well, be very careful that you do not get mastitus, warm flannel, massaging boob towards nipple to encourage flow. Watch for any red patches and or soreness, get help immediately from nurses if this happens. Do not wait for it to get worse (mistake I made twice!)

Please, please don't let this put you off trying to breastfeed. A baby is much much more effective at getting milk out of a breast, more than any pump can do! Are you being encouraged to put Thomas to the breast as often as possible without tiring him? Please be reassured that you are doing absolutely fantastically at the moment, even if the hormones are running riot on your confidence!

OK enough breastfeeding talk from me!

Folks have already given their opinions on carseat and stroller. In my humble opinion, I think would definitely get a stroller, the quality and price alone would be worth it, in addition to the using it on the journey home. As for the car seat.... they have different regulations in europe to US, but I believe that the US rules are stricter, so again, it might be worth saving a couple of pounds to buy it over there.

I hope all the passport / visa complications get sorted soon too, a headache you could do without on top of everything else.

Remember you are doing really well, and try not to let the hormones get you down too much! Will come back and check how you are doing soon.