Hi everyone, this is a wee bit late in the coming as LO is now 11 weeks old! Sorry, but I've been busy!
After a crazy last few weeks of pregnancy and several runs of contractions that went nowhere, no-show shows and false labours, I finally went into REAL labour at 39+1, the day after my 30th birthday.
I was home alone with my 4yr old who had just returned from her dads having a few crampy pains and paying them zero attention after all the previous fusses had resulted in absolutely no babies arriving. They were not conractions, just crampy period-like pains and were starting to annoy me, so i got up off the sofa to take some painkillers (they had previously stopped false contractions etc) and felt a bit damp down below. I thought my waters had gone cos there was quite a bit of dampness, enough to soak a mat pad, so I thought "this is really it!" and phoned my sis who was to be my birth partner but lives 90 miles away. She was just about to watch a film at the cinema with her mates, but both her and my mum headed here straight away as my mum was going to stay with my eldest.
While I waited for them to arrive I spoke to my best mate and pottered around putting last minute things in bags (none of which i bloody used!)When they arrived about 2 hours later I was having regular painful contractions around 5 mins apart and had spoken to labour ward who wanted me to go in around 8pm.
We set off for calderdale royal and landed at about 8 and had to sit in a corridor for about 45 mins before anyone saw us. By the time the midwife came to examine me I was in agony and on all fours clinging onto the head of the bed with each contraction, breathing through them. After a painful (because the contractions were worse when I laid on my back) internal I was told I was 2cm dilated and my waters were intact. I had paracetamol and codeine and rapidly got on top of the pain. I got a room of my own and was told they would examine me again in 4 hours (at 1.30am), if I had not progressed they would send me home.
I chilled out, paced the floor and bounced on a birthing ball while my sis kept me company and we had some cds on in the background. My contractions really tapered off and became much less intense so I started worrying that I was going home again. I had contacted the sperm donor (those of you that have read my earlier posts will know the story) and he decided he DID want to be there, so he turned up. I wasn't bothered if he was there or not.
Nothing much happened at all, and by the time the midwife came back at 1.30 I was praying things would happen. As it turns out, they did just that.
As she went to see how much/little I had progressed (i think it was 3-4cm) my waters broke. I think maybe she gave em a helpful prod so I didn't have to go home! That was obviously EXACTLY what was required because then things happened, and they happened fast! Contractions became really painful and intense. A second dose of paracetamol and codeine helped briefly but they soon became almost too much to bear. I had gas and air which seemed to me to do bugger all except make me feel slightly more in control and help with my breathing.
I was totally "in the zone" by this point and was just concentrating on getting through each contraction and resting til the next one. I did not have the energy to talk or move and was on all fours on the bed with the head end raised which was tiring but I didn't have the energy to change position. This was the point I decided I could take no more and wanted an epidural. However, I was in so much pain it took me another 2 contarctions to manage to ask for one!
I had spoken to the midwife earlier and told her i was going to play the pain relief thing by ear but that I really did not fancy pethedine, but she suggested I give it a try before going for the epidural. She went to get it and came back with it but she did not give me it and nor did I ask! I felt better just knowing it was there. It was around this point they all got me on my back so she could check my progress, in 3 hours I had got to 8-9cm!
Once I heard that,I knew I wasn't having an epidural or pethidine, I was going to have the baby. I said I felt like I wanted to push, and push I did, grunting with my chin on my chest for about an hour. My pushes were helping but not enough, I wasn't doing it right sometimes but other times I knew I was and it was working. I was exhausted and the midwife saw it and told me in no uncertain terms to get on with it because me and the baby were both getting too tired. At this point I chucked aside the gas and air and made absolutely no noise as I concentrated every bit of myself on pushing, and at 5.30 am on the 16th of august, my baby was born! My sister said to me "it's a little girl!" and I was gobsmacked as I had been convinced I was having a boy! She was 7lb 3oz, and I named her Nina. Her middle name is Gem after my sister.
Her dad (I use the term loosely!) saw her only once after the birth. He said to me "you look after her" and so I do. He is not named on her birth certificate.
So now it is just me and my two girls at home, both of whom are tucked up in their beds right now, two beautiful sleeping angels who I love with all my heart and who will never want for anything that I can give them. I feel so incredibly lucky, count my blessings every day and feel so proud that I gave birth naturally after a c section, proud that I am bringing these girls up by myself and, even if I do say so myself, doing a dammed good job!