What to write in card for friend's DD's birthday?

[CharCharGabor]

My friend had a stillborn daughter 5 years ago, before we met. I've known her for a few years now, and would say we are quite close. She mentions her DD to me fairly often in conversation. Her DD's birthday is the day before my DD's and I would like to send a card, is that the right thing to do? Also any advice on what to say in it would be great. I am worried about upsetting or offending her but I have read on here that parents like their children to be remembered so I just want to mark the day a little bit. TIA

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Why don't you post on the bereaved mummys thread? They might be able to offer you some good advice. (Lovely thought by the way, what a nice friend you are).

If it happened before you met, I probably wouldn't, but I would ring and just say I remember what day it is today - I'm thinking of you, and wanted to know if you would like some company..

i think that i would send a thinking of you card instead of a birthday card and write something or other like "thinking of you on your little girls birthday, and sending you much strength and peaceful wishes."

or something. you're lovely to do that.

i think wonkas idea is lovely and very thoughtful too.

Ooh that's a good idea MissM, will do so as long as they don't mind me butting in, thanks

Yes, maybe a phone call would be better wonka, don't want to do anything wrong or upset her, she's a lovely woman. Thanks also

Xposts sorry chimchar, thanks for your advice I was thinking more along the lines of a blank card with a message in, I like your phrasing a lot. I've seen lots of threads where people are upset that their children aren't acknowledged so I want to get it right.

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Thanks for your insight SassySusan. I will keep all you've said in mind, and may give her a candle or flowers with a simple card I'm sorry for your loss xx

i think a card is a good idea, make sure and refer to her DD by name in the card, don't worry about upsetting her/reminding her as she will not have forgotten and it may give her a chance to talk about her DD to someone she knows that cares enough to remember.

Just seen this, thanks OJ I will give her a card and hope it'll help a tiny bit.