Not looking forward to Fathers Day..........

[lottiejenkins]

Thread title says it all really. My dh died nearly nine years ago so my ds has been without his dad for many years. My father died four years ago. I hate this time of year because its advertised everywhere! Due to various issues that happened after my dad died (an unpleasent letter i was given that he had written to my two sisters and i) I find it hard to grieve for him too. He for various reasons didnt leave any money to my ds (who has aspergers and is deaf) He left nearly a million pounds to my stepmother(dont get on with her) My mum and my sisters went as far as they could without going to court to get some money from stepmum for my ds. Stepmother refused!! Stepmother has now remarried and i ocassionally see her. I refuse to speak to her. Very sad and i wish i still had my dad here so i could ask him why he did it!!

hi lottie

just couldn't pass over this message without saying I hope it all goes OK. It must be hard without all the other stuff you have had to deal with

Thanks Sundew. Have to go to my friends Mums funeral as well tomorrow. She killed herself. The lady who died's grandson is my ds's best friend!

Lottie you have got a lot on your plate at the moment. Make sure you make some time for yourself and take everything a day at a time. You could always plan to do something different with your ds on Fathers day? Difficult I know if he has Aspergers but is there somewhere he enjoys going so you can make a dya of it?

I will take him to his Dads grave before he goes back to school on Sunday afternoon. On his dads birthday we went to the grave and Wilf sung Happy Birthday and left his dad a card. He will leave a Fathers Day card on Sunday.

I dont know what to do
its neils birthday on the friday before it too

I dont know what to do about that either

Trinity. Hugs for you from me xxx

oh hugs to you both lottie and trinity. I know it can't be easy for you. I lost my lovely dad 5 years ago and fathers day is very hard for me although I have to 'do' it for DC and my DH.

A card on the grave sounds lovely. Maybe release a balloon too? Will be thinking of you both and your children next sunday xx

Lottie and Trinity, my heart goes out to you.

I wish I could think of something helpful to suggest but I can't, I feel for you both I really do and I wish I could give you both a squeeze (sorry MN but sometimes its needed).

I hope some more resourceful Mnetters will be along soon with helpful suggestions.

Lottie what a horrid day for you today. I hope that you managed to get through the funeral.

It's our first father's day without OH this year. It seems like there's five times as much marketing this time... Keep getting emails from companies telling me to buy him a gift .

Trinity - I don't know, I don't know. It's so hard. I can tell you what I did for OH's birthday last October (two months after he died). We all (his parents and siblings and I) sat down together for a meal, raised a glass to him and I cooked the same meal that we had had at his 40th birthday two years before. Then we listened to loads of songs that reminded us of him and our life together and cried. A lot.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

This Sunday I think we'll go up to where OH is buried and plant some wild flower seeds. Whatever we do, I am not, not, not going to leave the house. I will not be able to take seeing fathers with their children in the park etc. Actually, I try to avoid going out at weekends for that reason. Going to be more difficult to do that when the girls are at school, though.

Fathers day is a difficult one, my kids school have been doing fathers day stuff this week and of course the shops are full of fathers day things, in some ways my threes autism means that they don't notice some things. I've suggest my lot can do cards to go in memory boxes and we can do sky lanterns and bubbles, but I don't really know how it will work out.
Thinking of others that are struggling with fathers day.

Thanks everyone, i have just got in and have been sitting here crying reading all the messages My wonderful Mum and one of my friends came with me and we were put up near the family at the front of the church. My friend was so so brave she stood up and talked about her Mum and managed to make us smile (how her mum always had emergency things in her bag when they went out, once even a sick bag for the man next to them on the coach and that she loved all animals except frogs!)Her wonderful son was so fantstically brave too bless him, it was his 15th birthday yesterday and my ds rang him from school!
For Beryl God Bless Rest in Peace