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Dad expecting cancer diagnosis

39 replies

MarvelousNonPerfection · 11/06/2010 01:07

was what he told me tonight, followed by how he didn't plan on lingering and had a suicide plan 'sorted out'.

It has come as a shock to be honest as tho we talk lots we live a distance from each other and so he has been able to 'hide' things from me.

He received a phone call the other day and he remembers having a garbled conversation with the caller - no recollection of who it was - but they called the CMHT so i'm guessing it was someone from the surgery or the hospital.

He has spoken and met with the CMHT and due to the suicidal tendencies he must call them daily.

I am at a loss, he refuses to have me drop everything and go care for him as i did for mum a little over 6 yrs ago, he said that if the news is what he expects he won't be around long enough to need more care

We lost FIL a year ago so feeling a bit raw ATM anyway.

OP posts:
MarvelousNonPerfection · 21/06/2010 18:42

Visited Dad today, he has his follow up appt for July 01st.

He is in a better frame of mind and having a tidy house and someone doing the garden this week is helping with that.

Seeing him again at the weekend.

OP posts:
MarvelousNonPerfection · 01/07/2010 15:49

Prognosis today : Poorly Defined Small Cell Carcinoma.

Palliative chemo on a month by month basis max 5 sessions.

Life expectancy is 3-18m but average is 6-12m.

As expected really. He is ok, will stop chemo if he feels it is making him ill as currently he has few symptoms, main treatment after that will be pain relief as needed.

OP posts:
onlyjoking9329 · 06/07/2010 22:10

sorry you got this news, with regards to chemo i think you're right to see how it goes month by month, quality is needed.
take care go make some more memories

MixedNutPlate · 25/07/2010 21:38

Oramorph useless so got his meds changed much to my sis disgust, pooh her i will not have my dear Dad in pain unnecessarily.

I then get lectured by her re communication i have to tell her everythink Dad and i talk about or do, she tells me nothing ie, he didn;t sleep all night as in severe pain - ho hum.

Have his pain meds sorted and he is eating the meals i took down so that is a big relief.

She is still bleating about him having 12m+ think i'll believe the specialist and hope for longer if he is comfy.

MmmNicePlace · 30/09/2010 22:35

Lovely news is that tho treatment is coming to an end I spent Tuesday with Dad for his 68th birthday and cooked a lovely meal.

onlyjoking9329 · 01/10/2010 11:34

Thanks for update, I'd wondered how things were, glad you got to spend his birthday together.

MarmaladeNPie · 09/11/2010 23:14

Dad had a ct scan last week and the results are reasonably good, the tumours have not grown which is good but very little reduction but better than we dared hope in June.

We also found out tha his leg and knee pains are caused by the tumours pushing calcium into his bloodstream which could mean unidentified bone involvement.

The plan is to give him 5 radiotherepy blasts and then reassess.

He is mentally doing mostly good and with encouragement he has made a few new 'chat' friends in the village.

MarmaladeNPie · 12/11/2010 20:25

Update.

Dad has bone metastases which have devoloped whilst the chemo was reducing the main tumours in lungs/liver/kidney Confused

Due them he is having monthly infusions to flush out the calcium and after the first one it seems to be working as no leg pain yesterday.

Radiotherepy wed, thu, fri next week and mon,tue the week after.

He is okay mentally at the moment but is realistic.

MarmaladeNPie · 30/11/2010 23:14

Went down to Dad's yesterday, he hasn't been well since the radiotherepy.

He was drowsy all day and had a tough night and this morning I called the gp at lunchtime as i wasn't happy, he was still very drowsy and had not wee'd since 9pm. He was also looking yellow.

GP came out and the gp wasn't happy so he organised an ambulance, at 12.30 they called and said it would be with us in a 2 hour window.

Dad was having cramps and we sat and cuddled, the ambulance came at 14.20 and when they attached the finger monitor he only had oxygen levels at 78% :(

So i stayed at the house and got the cat in and off i went.

I get to the medical admissions unit and am told he's in A&E, [red flag #1] so down i go and when the receptionist hears who i'm looking for she escorts me to the relatives roomm [red flag #2] and after some minutes in come a dr & a nurse.

It seems Dad was comfortable and as they were doing their bits he simple stopped breathing and his heart stopped.

I got to go and say good bye to him.

I called dh and sent out some texts and then went back to his house, crated the cat, informed the 2 neighbours and after picking up a few things i really wanted and come home with crying cat snuggled in my hoodie as she was very distressed in the crate.

Dh had dinner ready and cat is currently missing in the lounge, do you think we can see her!!

I am doing ok, Dada is in a happy, pain free place and for that i'm glad.

Tomorrow i will collect death cert and register his death.

I will then start on the organising of crem for next week.

suzikettles · 30/11/2010 23:30

I'm so sorry for your loss Sad

BecauseImWorthIt · 30/11/2010 23:34

I'm sorry Sad

TheCrackFox · 30/11/2010 23:40

Sorry for your loss. x

BelleDeChocChipCookieMonster · 30/11/2010 23:57

I'm so sorry Sad

MistletoeNPresents · 07/12/2010 21:46

Thank you.

A week on and contary to initial first thoughts it looks like i have managed to sort out his final request which was to be a reseach donor body, just a little more paperwork to do, fingers crossed.

This weekend is the task of clearing out the house.

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