Friends partner has died - what could I do to help?

[GetThePartyStarted]

I've just heard that my friends partner has died unexpectedly they have a small baby She is a very good friend, but we haven't been friends for that long.

I am lucky in that this is the first time someone close has died, so I don't really know what to do and am looking for advice.

After reading other threads I have sent her a text telling her how sorry I am, and was thinking of leaving her a parcel of tea/coffee/biscuits/cake on her doorstep with a card - cheeky or not?

If you have been in this situation, how would you have liked your friends to behave? Should I leave her alone, or invite myself round in a week or two or what? I don't want to intrude, but I don't want her to feel alone. We would usually meet up 1/2 times a week.

Thankyou in advance for any replies.

No a parcel is a very good idea. In the card I might let her know you'd always be there for a chat/cry too so she knows you're there but you're not imposing yourself on her.

Don't leave it on the step, knock on the door. Phone her up and ask her if she needs a shoulder or an ear.

Do go round and see her, i lost my husband suddenly nine years ago and was so so so grateful for my friends who were there for me!!! And dont just be there for the short term. Friends drift away after a while and assume your ok!!! Real true friends are the ones who are still there supporting you six months down the line!!

Thanks guys, I will go round and see her ASAP. I appreciate you taking the time to help me.

I second what everyone else said. And if she doesn't seem keen on coffee and a chat now (you don't say when her DP died, so she may still be in shock), try calling or visiting again in a few days or a week, and then a week or so later, and so on. If you can, offer to cook/shop/clean/do laundry/look after the baby for an hour or two while she rests or does something else.

Lots of people call/offer to help in the first week or so, then by the time you come round from the initial shock and feel more like talking or just doing something normal with someone, everyone has melted away.