dh buried his mum yesterday hes taken it very badly and today he's told me he needs to "get away on his own for a bit"

[Wordsonascreen]

Hes leaving tomorrow and said he'll be back on Saturday for a weekend with me and the kids (8 and 6) am planning on telling children hes back at work (he has frequent trips away on business so absence is not unusual for them)

He says he just needs to be on his own but feels guilty for being selfish. (hes intending to revisit a place where they used to visit as a family and where his dads ashes are scattered.

He won't do anything stupid.

My last thread a few days ago was of his displacement activity (plotting spending his inheritance, thats sort of stopped but he didn't sleep at all last night. )
So I should let him go I'm hoping its a sort of healthy thing.. or am I being a twonk?

when I say buried I mean cremated, she wants to be scattered there as well but hes not ready to do that yet so shes not going down with him IYKWIM.

(Sorry for dripfeed am exhausted)

Let him go.

I buried my mum 8 years ago. It's an horrendous thing to get over.

Hes going
Am just worried bout him.

Of course you are.

He must go but he has to agree to call you when he gets there and then at agreed times while away.

So sorry.

Hi
I posted on the other thread. I am sorry to hear that he is feeling so sad, I cant imagine how hard it is.

Sounds like he just needs time to grieve in private. Hard as it leaves you so worried about him

Post here if you like... dont worry about it alone.

Were you close to his mother?

Thanks everyone.
I was very close to her (more so than my own mother)

He left before we all woke this morning but he phoned to say he was halfway there and he'll phone again this afternoon.

Its hard because I WANT to be there for him but I guess its something he feels he needs to work through on his own.

Giraffeyoga I hid the previous thread as I didn't want him to see it (he doesn't know my moniker but he knows I use MN and has the occasional lurk.

it must be hard to let him go as you are bound to worry, it might help him to have some time alone, he probably feels overwhelmed by his feelings and wants to go somewhere where he doesn't need to be responsible for anything or anyone doesn't have to talk if he doesnt want to and can hide away from questions.
ihope he comes back feeling he has had some space and can let you support him in his grief.

Hes sat on a hillside overlooking the sea.
The sun is shining nd hes spoken to his dad.

I'm sobbing but I'm so glad he went.

He's going to sit in there pub a bit later and watch the cricket and drink (a lot!)

It MUST be good for him to do that.

thanks (unmn x)

Hi Words
Have you heard from him this evening?

It does sound like a very cathartic trip.

Hope you are ok tonight x

He is very lucky he has you.
My lovely mum died just over a year ago and I lost dad 5 years ago.
I wish my DH offered me the love and support that you are offering your DH. Sadly he was a complete arse about the whole thing (ie the night my mum died asking why I was crying and a week later telling me to pull myself together and get over it when I hadn't even buried her) As a result of his behaviour then which still continues (I get the rolling of eyes when I'm missing my mum) I'm probably going to leave him in the very near future.

Sending you and your DH love and best wishes and hugs to you for being such a lovely wife to him xxx

I spoke to him last night. (I reckon he'll be sleeping off a hangover this morning!)

But he's glad he went and he'll be home as planned tomorrow. (HOORAY !)

Mumoverseas sorry about your loss/dh not understanding.
Thanks GY.

How's DH doing Words?