Missing having mum to talk to

[chiefcook]

Hi there,

My Mum died of cancer last February, a year after her diagnoses. I found out I was expecting DS2 a week before she died. He is 6 months old now, and I am missing Mum so much.

Dad and I are closer now but talking to him is not the same, he is totally absorbed with DC when he visits. Mum always said that when he was with DS1 noone else existed and it was no good talking to him!!

Today has been a really strange day, silly really because I bought a new pushchair over the weekend, a style that I have been lusting after since DS1 was a baby, I just know Mum would have been excited with me, but no-one else seems to understand.

It just seems that I can manage the big things but its the silly little things that trip me up and set my grief going again. I feel as if I am still waiting for it to hit me.

I'm not sure what I am looking for from this thread, thanks for reading.

Hi

I totally know how you are feeling. I lost my mum in Oct last year only 4 months after diagnosis.

So much has changed with my DD she has moved to a big bed, is now potty trained and can talk for england now!! - all of these things i know my mum would be so proud of.

I see my dad more now, but find it hard because everytime i look at him i just see a lonely man and there is nothing i can do to help him with that.

I have not really helped you very much, but just to let you know you are not on your own and i suppose it is normal for us to feel like this??.

Big hugs
x

Oh I know how you feel

It's completely overwhelming at times isn't it.

I lost my darling mum two years ago and am going through a divorce at the moment.
I talk to her photo when I am upset or stressed and say things like 'well, what do you think of that?!'

I know she is dead but sometimes I can pick up on her strength of character and it makes me feel stronger again.

I love and miss her so much.

Thanks for your messages. I wish there was nobody going through this, but it is comfoting to know I'm not alone.

Mum would be the first person to tell me to pull myself together and stop moping!

thanks xx

I lost my dad in November 2007, 7 months after his diagnosis.
I still miss him very much and my dc have changed so much since he died. My dd started school and is doing so well, my little ds is a proper person now and starts school in September. He would have been so proud of them.
I also feel sad when my dc play with my fil as they have the relationship I wanted them to have with my dad. Silly really.
I still talk to his photo and buy him father's day cards and we remember the anniversary of his death with balloons.
One thing I find which consoles me is that he does live on through me and my children. I see some of him in them and I find it comforting.
Sorry, this isn't very helpful but I wanted you to know that you are not alone.

can I please join this horrible club?
Its a year tomorrow since I lost my lovely mum. People say it gets better with time but I'm sorry, that is just rubbish. I'd lost dad 4 years before mum and that was bad enough but losing mum was 100 times worse, particuarly as she didn't get to meet my baby boy. He was born abroad and she died 2 weeks before we were due to return to the UK for 3 months so she could meet him.

I miss her so much, its just not fair. I'm so jealous of all my friends who still have their mums (and dads) and who seem to spend most of their time moaning about them.

Yes I'm another who knows this hollow painful feeling (and who's mum wouldn't want me to be feeling it - but we can only do our best). Lost Mum March 09 while 5 months pregnant with my first baby, and like you say, can prepare to a certain extent for 'special' days but get caught out unawares sometimes. Missing her is constant (some days more in the foreground than others but always there) but sometimes things come on me without me realising they would be significant. Recently it was the election - forgot that we would always talk about that and the fact that the Prime Minister has changed is another thing that's different in the world since she left it. I guess we just keep on keeping on and see if time does bring perspective like we are told. Thoughts to you all.

mumoverseas I hate hearing people moaning about their Mums, but then again I did it often enough!

Felt bad at new year because we were starting a new year without her, seemed like we were leaving her behind.