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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Just buried my daughter/I'm new to this

25 replies

Bambi10 · 25/04/2010 16:46

Hi, I am new to this site but I have belonged to Bounty for a long time. I just wanted to find another site really to find out or find other mum's who have lost their children. I buried my daughter on Friday. She was the smallest baby born in the hospital that they have ever had and potentially the smallest in Wales. She was 14 ounces (410 gramms) born, we have been through hell the last 6 months, we had 3 discharge dates, all of which never came to light and she was last due home on Easter Monday but fell ill with E-Coli and Pneumonia the Monday before, she was then put on Life Support and eventually the docs advised us that the treatment wasn't working so we decided to turn the vent off, although in the end it wasn't us that did it, our daughter pulled it out but because we decided to not let her suffer anymore they didn't put another one in, they put her in my arms on 14th April and she passed away almost immediately, we were devastated especially as they thought she would have lasted a few more days just on plain oxygen tubes, so it was a shock but kind of a relief as it just proved how very ill she was. She was 8lb 7oz and 6 months 6 days old. Hopefully I'll get to chat to some of you about this and it would be lovely to make new friends at such a distressing time. All my love, Amber xxx

OP posts:
ChickensHaveSinisterMotives · 25/04/2010 16:48

I couldn't read this without replying. I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter.

RunforFun · 25/04/2010 16:50

Oh Bambi, thank you so much for sharing this with us at this difficult time. What is your daughters name ?

There are so many people on her who can help and talk about this with you. I know someone will be along soon who can help more than I can.

Peace be with you x

BigBadMummy · 25/04/2010 16:51

Bambi I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter.

How heartbreaking for you.

Other mums who have been in a similar position will be along shortly to offer a hand to hold.

I just wanted to pass on my thoughts to you .

brimfull · 25/04/2010 16:52

Oh amber -so sorry about your little baby.What was her name?
I have no experience but am sure you will get lots of support here.

Molesworth · 25/04/2010 16:53

I'm so sorry for your loss, Amber

You will find lots of support here x

cocolepew · 25/04/2010 16:53

Deepest sympathy to you x.

chibi · 25/04/2010 16:53

I am so sorry for your loss

ilovesprouts · 25/04/2010 16:55

so sorry to hear about your little angel

cocolepew · 25/04/2010 16:57

you may find this thread comforting

unfitmother · 25/04/2010 16:57

Hi Bambi,
I'm very sorry to hear about your daughter. I've just come home from visiting my son's grave.
Have you had her funeral yet?

Bambi10 · 25/04/2010 17:10

Thankyou so much for the very quick replies! My daughter was called Lacey, she was buried on Friday with a church that was packed out with over 250 people so we have had overwhelming support from many people so far, we appeared in our local paper the other day which is on the internet and a facebook group has been set up by someone to honour her memory and there is a memorial page which has been set up too, again not by us which has completely stunned us but has encouraged us and has made us feel so humbled by people's kindness and generosity. I just read about Mumsnet in the paper today as it mentioned bereavement so I thought it would be nice to get to know some new people to focus on during this time. Thankyou xxx

OP posts:
ADuckCalledBill · 25/04/2010 17:13

I'm so very sorry for your loss Bambi. You will find some wonderful, caring women on this site who will be able to offer you support. Take care.

peterpansmum · 25/04/2010 17:17

Hi Bambi, so sorry for the loss of your daughter Lacey x Come and join us on the thread coco suggests above, my son died just over a year ago aged two but there are (sadly) many of us bereaved of a little one who will gladly talk/scream/cry/laugh/hold your hand as and when. Whatever you are feeling one or other of us will probably identify with you xx

MumInBeds · 25/04/2010 17:21

So sorry to have read of your loss, may your little one rest in peace.

Tortoise · 25/04/2010 17:22

So sorry for the loss of your little girl.

2shoes · 25/04/2010 17:37

so sorry for your loss

crumpette · 25/04/2010 17:38

Bambi so sorry to hear about Lacey so so sorry, we always say on the thread linked to above, so glad you found us but wish we could have met somewhere else..

My daughter died on April 12 last year, aged 14mths, she had 2 liver transplants and was about to be discharged home when like your DD over the course of a week she developed pneumonia, multi organ failure, had a cardiac arrest, was put back on life support back on intesive care and after a few days and lots of other attempts to fix things I had to consent to withdrawal of life support..shortly after that I found mumsnet and the people on the thread linked to above have really kept me 'sane' this past year, please come and join us xxx

lottiejenkins · 25/04/2010 17:50

Bambi, i'm glad you read my letter (im assuming you saw my letter in MOS) please coem and join us on the bereavement thread!

realfreedom · 25/04/2010 17:57

So very sorry for your loss. I hope you find lots of comfort here. x

frangipan · 28/04/2010 14:15

I am so sorry for your loss. You will find lots of support here xx

travellingwilbury · 30/04/2010 20:17

Bambi how are you doing ? I know that is a daft question but just wanted you to know we are still here and that you and your daughter are still in our thoughts x

Alibobster · 12/05/2010 08:58

I'm so sorry x

twolittlemonkeys · 12/05/2010 09:02

I'm so sorry. I don't have any advice or experience of this but I couldn't read your post without replying. I hope you will find lots of support from other ladies who have been through similar.

Xenia · 12/05/2010 09:05

Poor you. I haven't lost a child but it must be terrible. There are other mothers who have done on here. My advice would be remember her, rest and know you all did your best for her.

nickschick · 12/05/2010 09:08

Bambi its not mumsnets 'way' but ((hug)) im so very sorry.

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