MIL is in the final stages - how to explain/deal with dd's age 4 & 5?

[hotmama]

MIL is in the latter stages of dementia and we have just agreed to an end of life protocol.

She isn't expected to last more than a week.

The dd's know that Nana is ill in hospital.

Any advice on how to explain the death etc to the dd's - obviously they are going to be upset. What is the "best" way to deal with the aftermath IYKWIM?

We are not religious so am not intending to say that she has gone to heaven - but obviously want to deal with their loss as sensitively as possible.

DP is already in absolute bits - he is an only child and his Dad died just after dd1 was born

In reality, it will be me that is going to deal with this - I want to be as supportive etc as I can be.

I am going to email dd1's teacher (she is in reception).

Any words of wisdom will be greatly received.

Bump

Hi hotmama

In the same position - no fluids for two weeks and she surely cannot be with us much longer. Seems inhumane to let her fade away like this. DH very upset at the indignity suffered by his lovely and gentile mother.

Our youngest are 4 and 8. I don't know what to say to my 4 year old either - he has already started talking about not wanting to die and what happens when he dies which seems awfully young to worry about that.

We have only just got him over an obsession with germs which caused him to refuse to walk barefoot anywhere and washed his hands until they were raw! All those adverts for disinfectants showing bug trails etc were the bane of my life - not had a child so concerned about stuff like this before!

Take care - I'd be interested to hear any advice too.

It's really difficult although there are some good books out there (can't for the life of me think of any titles off the top of my head but try amazon). We had a similar situation recently - my grandad passed away 10 days ago and we had to explain to DC aged 2, 3, 4 and 7 (not all mine). My older sister who is religious spoke to her DD 2yr and DS 7yr about heaven as that is what they are being brought up to believe in. My younger sister and I (she has DS 4yr and DD 2yr, I have DD 3yr)although not religous do believe that there is something after death so went kind of halfway and spoke to the children about him going to be in the stars with some of the other people we know who have passed away and although we couldn't see him anymore the things we learned from him and our memories of him would always be a part of us. So far they have accepted this but we'll see if any questions arise. Let us know how you get on and hopefully someone with more advice will be along