Taking children to funeral - help

[LucyM6]

I need some help in figuring out how to do this.
I'm going to have to attend a funeral on the other side of the country.
I have a 6yo and a 2yo.

The 6yo has huge separation issues, 2yo does not but is still breastfed.

It will take a good 6 hours to travel there by train, same back I guess...so depending on time of funeral I will have to do it starting early in the morning, or stay overnight one night.

Have got use of a car but it's a longer trip and have never been that far driving, hate motorways etc.
I also don't know how to manage the younger one in the church. There will be other kids there but I might be reading something etc and need to palm him off on someone.

I am considering taking ds1 but leaving ds2 here with my parents.

Any thoughts? Feels like a big deal atm. Thankyou.

Hi, Thanks for your supportive comments on my potty training drama.

As for your dilema, I would say that taking one child and an over night stay is probably your best bet. That is if you can't just leave them both?

Could you leave them both? Go on train and leave home as late as practically possible, and return as early as you can? Sure your parents could cope. Funerals are not the place for children (in my humble opinion).

Over all ask for lots of help and take any offers of assistance. Things don't usually turn out to be as difficult as you think. As long as you plan well. X

I think i would leave them both too unless you have specific reasons for taking your eldest. Your younger child might well be more settled with your parents if his brother is there with him. Or is he used to staying with your parents?

Thankyou both, very much - how is the potty training going?

The reason for taking ds1 is that I left him with them last year when I went somewhere for the day, much closer, and he was at school most of it - and it took him months to get over it. He gets very upset if I go away without him. Ds2 doesn't seem to have the same problems.

I could maybe cope with them both on the train but it will be hard work.

I think leaving both is going to be the only way tbh - quite like an adventure with just ds1, but then ds2 will be left alone, etc etc.

BUt if you left DS2, then for him, it'll be like a little adventure for him and his grandparents. They can focus purely on him and won't be worried about your DS1 not coping without you (although if it's a year ago that you last left him, he could be fine now).
If you're BF your DS2, can you leave ebm in bottles? If not, then your only option is to take him.
If it were me, I'd take DS1 and leave DS2 with ebm.

Thanks, Lucie. Am now thinking that might be a way to wean him off boob as well! Have not expressed before and don't really want to, but maybe he could have other drinks from bottle...will think about it.

It all depends really on how long I'll need to be gone for - not happy to leave ds2 for a night, really. He would be Ok, but he wouldn't understand iyswim. i think it might scare him a bit which would be bad when I want him to start preschool soon.

Will have to wait till we know what time the thing is going to be, and go from there.
Thanks again.

Could your parents drive and go with you? Then they can take the boys off to the nearby park or shops etc for a treat whilst you go to funeral and then meet up to drive home after funeral? Or they could come on train too?

They could in theory, but it's about 300 miles each way and I don't really want to put that on them iyswim. They don't really like travelling! I think it's time I did this kind of thing without their help, too - but it will be hard work whatever.