DS (5) friends Father has committed suicide

[wideratthehips]

My Ds very good friends Father has committed suicide, i have just found out. Hes at school just now. Hes only 5 and his friend has just turned 6. i'm so terribly upset, he was such a nice man and always really nice to his and our children. I didn't know the parents really well...we didn't socialise independantly of our children, but were very friendly...what on earth do i say to my son, who is already very wobbly about people dying and is terrified of something happening to us. My son was at their house only a few days ago. i know i'm going to be upset for quite a while and need to get a grip, i can't beleive i'm never going to see him again

That's awful. Poor man. I think you need to calm yourself down before your son gets home. Seeing you upset will only make him upset.

Wait to see if he mentions it and answer any questions that he has calmly. He may need cuddles and comforting but let him take the lead and react to him, rather than the other way round.

Some kids are able to rationalise it and maybe the teacher will already have given an explanation that he can draw comfort from. If the school is any good, they'll send a note home telling you what has been said in class and what the school is offering in terms of support.

If your son wants to do something to help his friend, maybe you could both write a card offering to help in any way.

Just reread this, sorry I don't mean to sound bossy. I hope he's not too upset.