Is this normal?

[got2loseit]

I have a close friend who has recently lost her mother. To try and make it easier I offered to tell one of her oldest friends who now lives overseas. (a friend of mine too) She responded telling me that her mother was in a hospice and was not expected to last long. She did not offer any condolences to our friend. I of course felt terrible. I had no idea her mum was that ill. I replied back saying all the right words. But I haven't heard anything.

I am now starting to feel that I have blown this friendship.

She probably has no idea what she said to you. As LunaticFringe says, "Your overseas friend almost certainly has more to worry about at the mo than your feelings."

She may even have completely forgotten what she said, she is so wrapped up in her own situation.

Also, I find that I am unwilling to contact people, with whom I have been out of touch, with bad news, feeling that I ought to be rekindling the friendship with something positive, not "just calling up out of the blue to leech off someone I couldn't be bothered with a month ago." Maybe she feels the same? If so, she will no doubt welcome your making another attempt or two in the near future, then perhaps trying again later in the year. It can take a bit of work to coax someone back, if a friendship is being re-established on such uneven grounds.

In any case, how can you possibly have said anything which is worse than what she is going through? Please don't worry about that, at least!

I think I will send her another message. Hopefully it will help. I guess I am just finding things tough at the moment as this is not the first friend who has lost a parent. Each bereavement has a habit of reminding you of your own loss although it was many years ago in my case.

Oh, no. Sorry it is bringing up the past. I hope you manage to get through to your friend this time.

Thank you for your messages. It worked.

She responded? Is she feeling better? What about the original friend?