First christmas without loved one - Hows it been?

[anastasia74]

The regulars on here will probably know I lost my dear dad in July. So this was our first christmas without him. I was dreading it.

I was wondering how others were doing?

We decided to go out to a restaurant for lunch on Christmas day instead of the usual tradition of cooking at my house. Which in the end was ok - as there were quite a few distractions going off.

But to be fair all we wanted to do was just to get it over and go home. I have been ok I suppose. I've shed more tears than usual and seem to be thinking of him a lot at night whilst in bed.

Also when calling at mums and dads house just for a split second I thought I could still him sat in his chair as I approached the house - my mind playing tricks - which was quite upsetting.

I suppose what I'm saying is that everything just feels rawer again for me. Feels like just the other week that I last saw him

Also the dawning that this will be my reality from now on. Our Christmases without dad - who was the life and soul of any family gathering.

Hugs to everyone who are going through similar.

2nd xmas without my wonderful mum and it doesnt feel any easier. All the cooking smells.cakes and biscuits remind me of her. just silly things set me off crying again and then i go and look through all her cards to me and her pictures and shut myself in my bedroom for some private time

Hi Anastasia, good idea to start this thread. As you know I lost my lovely Dad in April this year and was also dreading CHristmas. In reality, the anticipation of it all was worse than the actual day, although of course he was missed hugely - we raised a glass to him and spoke about him often. My Mum seemed very down, I took her home on 27th December and she was very upset when I called her later. It's just so tough, knowing that this is it from now on.

We have just got bcak from a wedding in Ireland that was so nice and emotional I balled like an idiot. I am all over the place at the moment.

Hugs to all of you.
xx

this is my 1st Xmas without my Nin (who was 84) and died of a heart attack in hospital but before she died she managed to hang on till she saw all her family before she passed away (she had a 2nd heart attack) . It felt weird not seeing around the family or sitting in the chair in someone's house..just weird but my mum felt relieved that all her sisters and brother were there in hospital around her bed before she died.

Also, this is my 1st Xmas without my lovely lovely cousin Lee, who i spent the summer holidays with my brother too when we was younger, wanted to be with his mum who died 6 yrs ago ...im sure that hes happy now with my nin and his mum

RIP xxxx

It felt weird not seeing her around the family

First without my dad who died in November. It was the same for me as has been said, the anticipation was worse than the reality. dh saved the day though because I couldn't have cared less about the food and he shopped and cooked. The last conversation I had with my dad ended up with him checking I was making figgy pudding again. Mostly my mum and I talked and drank and my mum never drinks! We laughed a lot, hysterically really, and talking plenty about my dad, but nothing about missing him. I had a massive cry on Boxing Day though.

First Christmas without my lovely Mum, who passed away at the end of June. We decided to have a quiet one and Dad wanted to stay at home, so haven't seen him but he seemed to be coping ok. I really struggled on the other hand....it comes in waves....one minute I'm ok (have DS who is a great distraction) but then something happens to remind me of Mum and that she isn't here to share and I just break down in tears.
I couldn't cope with the whole 'familyness' of xmas so we didn't see my in-laws either...really don't think I could have coped with the 'normality' of it.
Anyway, got through Christmas but now it's goodbye to a shitty 2009 - Mum had a stroke at the end of Jan...was recovering really well and then had a massive 2nd stroke that she never recovered from. In a sense I can't wait to see the back of this year but on the other hand, I don't want my last year with Mum to end - does that make sense?

Well now we've neally got it all over for another year.

Felt more emotional last night bringing in the new year than I did on Christmas day. Burst into tears at midnight and a few more times after that in private once home - all got a bit too much, could'nt wait to get to bed and the day be over.

Like haribo said - not really wanting the last year with my dad to end - It feels so final.

I suppose its the thought of going forward. A new start for us all, a new chapter that we are not ready to begin really.

I wish everyone a Peaceful and Safe 2010.

Hugs XXX

Very hard .Im the same as Haribolicious I didnt want the year to end .My lovely mum has only been gone six weeks .I cry every day and i really didnt want the new year to begin .